Is complimenting not enough?

  • Laxon

    Posts: 9

    Mar 27, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    I've strolled across several men through out many gay community websites; but something will never stop bugging my mind:

    I love to compliment guy's pictures or start up a happy, simple conversation; but when that one particular dude who just doesn't say a single word in return, what am I to them? Annoyance? Lame? I'm not here to stalk you or jump into one's pants. All I can ask is to get to know more [real] gay men since in my home town/city mostly composes of flamboyant or in-the-closet men.

    So just to cut my ranting short, are you here on Real Jock for just virtual sex or to actually get to make more gay friends?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:03 AM GMT
    I'm here on RJ because I have no other gay support groups. So in short, yes, I'm here to make friends and if some hot older guys want to say hello to me who am I to deny that privilege?

    Don't sweat about people not responding to you. It's online. Sometimes people forget, don't care, or just don't know what to say. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you so don't feel like you're in the wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:05 AM GMT
    Complimenting can come off as soliciting (even if you really, truly have the best of intentions). Some guys compliment as a way to try to engage guys they are interested in but who are not interested in them.

    I've said this before, but I'll say it again. The guys I've come to like as friends I've made through interaction on the message board. Random compliments from strangers I will thank, but they will never lead to anything, not even casual friends, really.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:08 AM GMT
    Yup. Pretty much why I don't initiate direct contact anymore. I tend to stick to the forums. It's a casual, no pressure way to get to know people on this site.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:13 AM GMT
    I think you're better off in the forums. I haven't tried to contact too many men here directly. I think it's easier to get to know people by talking to them in a group setting. If you're expecting a response, then it doesn't seem like a true compliment. When I leave a picture comment or profile testimonial for someone, I don't expect a response back.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:17 AM GMT
    Here's another angle. I've complimented strangers, and they've responded with actual, genuine reciprocal interest. Match made in heaven! Right? Here's how it goes:

    Me: Sup man! Totally hot brah!
    Them: Thanks bud! Totally feel the same about you!
    Me: Awesome man!
    Them: I know right!
    Me: Yep!
    Them: Mhmm!
    Me...icon_smile.gif
    Them:...icon_smile.gif
    Me:....
    Them:.....

    AND WE NEVER TALKED AGAIN. EVER. EEEEEVER. Despite flagrant mutual interest. It just happens that way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    eh some guys think a compliment is a demand for them to reciprocate. Others are spoiled with compliments and don't appreciate. Others only respond if the flatterer is attractive to them. Others are innundated with them, and for them to respond to all of them, a significant portion of their free time would be sacrificed. Others are ____________ etc.

    snot always about you. (tho sometimes it is)

    compliment for your own pleasure only
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidHere's another angle. I've complimented strangers, and they've responded with actual, genuine reciprocal interest. Match made in heaven! Right? Here's how it goes:

    Me: Sup man! Totally hot brah!
    Them: Thanks bud! Totally feel the same about you!
    Me: Awesome man!
    Them: I know right!
    Me: Yep!
    Them: Mhmm!
    Me...icon_smile.gif
    Them:...icon_smile.gif
    Me:....
    Them:.....

    AND WE NEVER TALKED AGAIN. EVER. EEEEEVER. Despite flagrant mutual interest. It just happens that way.


    I know so weird right? I was totally flattered that you thought of me that way.


    psst in case it was too subtle.. joke!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:22 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidHere's another angle. I've complimented strangers, and they've responded with actual, genuine reciprocal interest. Match made in heaven! Right? Here's how it goes:

    Me: Sup man! Totally hot brah!
    Them: Thanks bud! Totally feel the same about you!
    Me: Awesome man!
    Them: I know right!
    Me: Yep!
    Them: Mhmm!
    Me...icon_smile.gif
    Them:...icon_smile.gif
    Me:....
    Them:.....

    AND WE NEVER TALKED AGAIN. EVER. EEEEEVER. Despite flagrant mutual interest. It just happens that way.
    At least your conversations last longer. Mine usually ends after the fourth message. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:22 AM GMT
    SkinnyBitch saideh some guys think a compliment is a demand for them to reciprocate. Others are spoiled with compliments and don't appreciate. Others only respond if the flatterer is attractive to them. Others are innundated with them, and for them to respond to all of them, a significant portion of their free time would be sacrificed. Others are ____________ etc.

    snot always about you. (tho sometimes it is)

    compliment for your own pleasure only
    got tissue?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:27 AM GMT
    "Can I see your privates?" isn't really a compliment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:29 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said"Can I see your privates?" isn't really a compliment.


    I asked you that ONE time. Just let it go already!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:32 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    unfounded7 said"Can I see your privates?" isn't really a compliment.


    I asked you that ONE time. Just let it go already!


    When you do it in person that one time is pretty creepy icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:36 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidWhen you do it in person that one time is pretty creepy icon_neutral.gif


    Whine. Whine. Whine. Do you have any idea how much effort I have to put into my creeping? No one appreciates my work. It's a lost art.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidRandom compliments from strangers I will thank, but they will never lead to anything, not even casual friends, really.

    Hot singlet! Wanna cam?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 2:42 AM GMT
    eagermuscle said
    Ariodante saidRandom compliments from strangers I will thank, but they will never lead to anything, not even casual friends, really.

    Hot singlet! Wanna cam?


    128757017089385611.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 3:49 AM GMT
    I don't answer most people. Lol. I rarely directly message anyone either.
    There's times I take the compliment and give one back, but then that person gets clingy and wants to web chat, meet up, or talk on the phone minutes later. Lol I just can't. Not everybody of course, but all in all I prefer an original greeting.

    I can only talk to one person at a time anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 9:13 AM GMT
    Laxon saidI've strolled across several men through out many gay community websites; but something will never stop bugging my mind:

    I love to compliment guy's pictures or start up a happy, simple conversation; but when that one particular dude who just doesn't say a single word in return, what am I to them? Annoyance? Lame? I'm not here to stalk you or jump into one's pants. All I can ask is to get to know more [real] gay men since in my home town/city mostly composes of flamboyant or in-the-closet men.

    So just to cut my ranting short, are you here on Real Jock for just virtual sex or to actually get to make more gay friends?


    Some of em are just arrogant. I wouldn't worry about em, If my stuck up next door neighbours are anything to go by. They are just common.

    You are attractive.. you got nothing to worry about.

    Im on here to meet people, or to hook up or whatever.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 10:07 AM GMT
    Laxon said
    So just to cut my ranting short, are you here on Real Jock for just virtual sex or to actually get to make more gay friends?


    Neither I stumbled across this site looking for workout tips.

    Along the way I have "Vmet" several guys and have private conversations, mainly I catch up in the forums as others have suggested. As for sending guys compliments you should just do it for you, not with the expectation of a reply. It does have a tendancy to seem creepy and needy especially for those of us who have been online and dating for several years.