Would anyone NOT date an otherwise date-able guy because he's, well, not intelligent?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2012 3:32 AM GMT
    If so what's your threshold? Do they have to be retarded to be put in the do not date pool? Do they just have to be less intelligent than you?
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:05 PM GMT
    If he had the body of Adonis and the face of Apollo, he could be as intelligent as a clove of garlic and I'd still date him .
  • ohioguy12

    Posts: 2024

    Mar 28, 2012 2:08 PM GMT
    Are we talking book smart or street smart?

  • Mar 28, 2012 2:12 PM GMT
    Depends. I know a guy who's got a good body, but you can't really have an intelligent conversation with him because it doesn't seem like he has much upstairs. If he was not intelligent then I wouldn't date them. Call me what you want, but I would like to be able to have an intelligent conversation about something more than looks and themselves. Just my opinion....
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    Depends; how stupid am I supposed to be to be judging someone else in this scenario?
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    Mar 28, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    Uberr_Bizzaro_O saidDepends; how stupid am I supposed to be to be judging someone else in this scenario?


    Good point. Besides, define intelligence. It's not even just book smart vs. street smart. I know people who are barely literate but are quick witted in conversation. The mind has all sorts of capacities and none of us are as smart as we think we are. "The diameter of knowledge is directly proportional to the circumference of ignorance."
  • Diceroll

    Posts: 224

    Mar 28, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    vintovka said
    Uberr_Bizzaro_O saidDepends; how stupid am I supposed to be to be judging someone else in this scenario?


    Good point. Besides, define intelligence. It's not even just book smart vs. street smart. I know people who are barely literate but are quick witted in conversation. The mind has all sorts of capacities and none of us are as smart as we think we are. "The diameter of knowledge is directly proportional to the circumference of ignorance."


    Totally agree with this (especially the bold bit). There are also a lot of people who are very intelligent but who lack the social skills to hold good conversation, which can also hinder their dating prospects.
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    swimguychicago saidIf so what's your threshold? Do they have to be retarded to be put in the do not date pool? Do they just have to be less intelligent than you?


    It's not that easy to meet someone you have enough in common with plus attraction to develop a relationship with. If I met the right guy, I wouldn't give a damn what his intelligence quotient was. I'd be more concerned with is he an honest, caring & trustworthy guy, who's gonna stand with me through thick & thin.
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:42 PM GMT
    vintovka said
    Uberr_Bizzaro_O saidDepends; how stupid am I supposed to be to be judging someone else in this scenario?


    Good point. Besides, define intelligence. It's not even just book smart vs. street smart. I know people who are barely literate but are quick witted in conversation. The mind has all sorts of capacities and none of us are as smart as we think we are. "The diameter of knowledge is directly proportional to the circumference of ignorance."


    I've learned that I don't know as much as thought I did in my youth; life continues to teach me on a daily basis(if I'm willing to learn); a lot of the things I believe to be true for me, aren't true for everybody else. There is someone out there who absolutely happily gay being the exact opposite of what I consider smart: street or book wise. To judge someone on their intelligence is to assert you're insecure about your own stupidity.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 28, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    Well first let me say, I find this question a little uncomfortable. Just because I perceive the individual not to possess the same thinking or reasoning capacity as I.... not a good reason to can the guy.

    I remember my thread on "Dating a Deaf Guy" received pretty good input from RJ members. You are basically asking if the individual lacks mental capacity (whether it be to a minor extent or a major handicap) would you date him? I would hope the answer would be "yes", unless I found the mental handicap to be such we weren't relating on the same level. As to a long term relationship (if I didn't have one now), as with anybody, you have to maintain a sense of direction, quality interaction and sharing. It all depends on the guy and situation.

  • Mar 28, 2012 2:51 PM GMT
    After re-reading my post, I should probably clarify. I guess it doesn't so much deal with the "intelligence", as much as the conversation. If I can't have a conversation, I don't think I can handle a relationship. Being the smartest isn't always a great thing either. I'm not going to say I'm the smartest person ever (or even remotely close). I guess my decision would be based on whether or not I could relate to the guy because intelligence is different for everyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    interpersonal relationships intelligence is the most important to me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    It depends on how you define intelligence. I happen to like guys who are well read, intellectually curious, and socially conscious. That's how I define intelligence. Some men without formal education possess all three characteristics. Some men with formal education don't.
  • bischero

    Posts: 847

    Mar 28, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    Intelligence is sexy, but so is being able to do "handy-man" tasks. If you can teach me about astrophysics and fix the sink... icon_twisted.gif


    In reality, though, this topic is completely subjective. How should one define intelligence? They could be great at chemistry but suck at art, or vice versa. Generally though, I like to talk about more topics than just sports or your latest workout routine, so yes, for me intelligence is important. You don't have to be a freaking rocket scientist though.


    ... Just an astrophysicist.

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 6:15 PM GMT
    I am currently dating a really smart guy and I avoid talking to him almost all the time. Prior to him, I was very strict, I only dated idiots, yard apes, morons, stupid fools and neanderthals. If your knuckles were dragging on the ground when we met, chances are we'd almost be married by midnight.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 6:45 PM GMT
    DON'T TALK ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT HERE!!

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    For me the list is fairly short but in some ways encompasses a lot -

    Have a job;
    Be able to take care of yourself financially;
    Have a good personality;
    Be active / healthy lifestyle.

    Intelligence obviously factors in to this list, but it's not something I guess I've used as a specific criteria or filter.

    Interesting question.
  • rogerfederer

    Posts: 300

    Mar 28, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    yea i would. just take all the losers on here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    Dumb hot guys are good for one thing and there isn't even any guarantee they are good at that.........

    I love the idea of dating someone that challenges me intellectually so that's one of my deal breakers.
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Mar 28, 2012 7:36 PM GMT
    BlkMuscleGent saidIt depends on how you define intelligence. I happen to like guys who are well read, intellectually curious, and socially conscious. . . . Some men without formal education possess all three characteristics.

    That sounds good. For non-serious dating, if he is sweet, sexy and fuckable, but not a really bright bulb, that's OK. But for marriage potential, or someone to feel comfortable bringing to your friends' house or bringing home to mama, he has to have something on the ball upstairs, whether educated or not. After all, if not, what would you talk about? Sex can't occupy your every waking moment.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 10:17 PM GMT

    swimguychicago, can you elaborate on what you're referring to when you say intelligent?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 10:28 PM GMT
    DOMINUS saidIf he had the body of Adonis and the face of Apollo, he could be as intelligent as a clove of garlic and I'd still date him .


    I love garlic.
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    Mar 28, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    Intelilgence is defined as:

    (1): the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations : reason; also: the skilled use of reason

    (2): the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests)

    I need a guy that can challenge my way of thinking, debate a topic maturely and articlulate his feelings and opinions otherwise I couldn't see him as an equal which is what is most important to me in a relationship. His looks do not matter one iota if he cannot do those things.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 10:29 PM GMT
    It's called chemistry... I don't care if the guy I'm seeing is as dumb as a rock, if I can have a good time together, and we relate to things well, I don't give a fuck how smart he is.
  • ATXnative

    Posts: 240

    Mar 28, 2012 10:41 PM GMT
    i tried dumb and hot once, it did not fit