The Other Guy/The Dirty Mister

  • nomad4life

    Posts: 332

    Mar 27, 2012 7:05 PM GMT
    This came up recently in another thread and I wanted some insight from others.

    How many of you have been put in that position as the other guy someone's boyfriend (or maybe girlfriend for some of you) has messed around with. For me it's been three guys (one I was told before sex, one during sex, and one after sex). I may have fallen into a not so good pattern and I'm just wondering if I'm doomed to be the Dirty Mister of if this is just something that happens to everyone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    In comparison to the straight population, the gay population is very small. It's inevitable that if you date/hookup/etc with more than just a few guys in your lifetime, you WILL end up fucking someone else's boyfriend.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 27, 2012 7:28 PM GMT
    I would hope no "friendly face" becomes the "dirty mister" in any relationship. haha Seriously, I don't think you should view it as a pattern,
    just take a little more time in getting to know the guy before you consider anything else. If he acts like he is hiding something, then get to the bottom of it, if possible.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 27, 2012 8:02 PM GMT
    It's just you. Don't sweat it, now come out here and lets mess around, just don't tell my bf OK? LOL jk. Easiest way around it is to just ask up front, "so, you dating anyone? In a relationship now? Totally single?" Seems to make the point quite nicely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 28, 2012 1:54 PM GMT
    Not to sound immoral here, but I don't think there's anything wrong with messing around with someone's boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife if he/she initiates the encounter, as long as you don't have any intentions of breaking up his/her relationship. I would not, however, initiate an encounter with someone who's in a committed relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 29, 2012 3:42 AM GMT
    DOMINUS saidNot to sound immoral here, but I don't think there's anything wrong with messing around with someone's boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife if he/she initiates the encounter, as long as you don't have any intentions of breaking up his/her relationship. I would not, however, initiate an encounter with someone who's in a committed relationship.


    I USED to agree with this philosphy, now not at all. Basically you are devaluing yourself. If your always the other man there's something within you that doesnt feel you are good enough to be "the man".
    Sure its fun and i too hold no moral judgement either, but you have to look at the type of person you are with. Once a cheater always a cheater, we all deserve to be treated better than to be a "bit on the side

    PS Dom Im still looking for that picicon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 29, 2012 5:29 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidIn comparison to the straight population, the gay population is very small. It's inevitable that if you date/hookup/etc with more than just a few guys in your lifetime, you WILL end up fucking someone else's boyfriend.


    this much is certainly true. while i agree that if someone is determined to cheat, they will, i think it is important for you to decide whether you will be a consenting party in that affair.

    i make a habit of asking any guy i'm with if he has a boyfriend beforehand and i don't hide my disgust with cheating. to me, it's one of those, "do unto others..." situations. i'd never want to be cheated on, so i'd never want to cheat on or with someone else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 29, 2012 1:25 PM GMT
    dtmyh said
    DOMINUS saidNot to sound immoral here, but I don't think there's anything wrong with messing around with someone's boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife if he/she initiates the encounter, as long as you don't have any intentions of breaking up his/her relationship. I would not, however, initiate an encounter with someone who's in a committed relationship.


    I USED to agree with this philosphy, now not at all. Basically you are devaluing yourself. If your always the other man there's something within you that doesnt feel you are good enough to be "the man".
    Sure its fun and i too hold no moral judgement either, but you have to look at the type of person you are with. Once a cheater always a cheater, we all deserve to be treated better than to be a "bit on the side

    PS Dom Im still looking for that picicon_cool.gif


    "Besides, the wife always gets all the really good presents, because he feels guilty... so I've heard"