How long to wait before having sex when dating someone?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 28, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    When you just started dating someone, what is the acceptable time frame to wait before sleeping with them?

    In my head it used to be 2-3 months easy (esp that it would my first time), but from experience and from what friends tell me, I'd be super lucky to find a guy who would wait 2 weeks max.

    One of my friends actually dumped a guy coz the guy wasn't ready to have sex with him within 2 weeks icon_eek.gif

    am I weird or are people weird? How much time do you usually wait and whats the maximum you ever waited? I'm speaking in the context of dating and trying to foster a relationship.

    Any tips on how to prolong the wait? Would less meetings and less flirting help during that period? lol
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    Mar 28, 2012 3:10 AM GMT
    Neutral saidHow long to wait before having sex when dating someone?
    The amount of time it took to type that title was too long.
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    Mar 28, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    Have sex first thing. It gets all the awkward small talk and "mind reading" out of the way. Once you've had sex, the conversation can get beyond the bullshit to the intimate and the "real".
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    Mar 28, 2012 3:46 AM GMT

    I think you have to go with the flow. It'll be different for each person.

    You wait until you can't wait to experience it, lol.

    -Doug
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    Mar 28, 2012 3:50 AM GMT
    First date. If there isn't a second date, at least the first wasn't a complete waste of time.
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    You should wait at least eight weeks from the time you first drop your hankie to get a gentleman's attention before allowing his eldest male relative to leave his calling card with your Ladies Maid.

    After several months of prayer and corsette fittings, you may agree to a chaperoned meeting in a public square or perhaps the church steps. Be sure to keep your gloves on when shaking hands for at least the first 2 years.

    Yes - you are weird.

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  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Mar 28, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    A week at the most. That would be the second or third date.

    Of course, this is assuming you WANT to have sex with said person by the second or third date. Sometimes I make it that far and decide "let's just be platonic friends".
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:17 AM GMT
    LOL at all responses!

    I'm like most of the guys: sex first, date later.

    Compatibility must be established immediately. If there's no "chemistry" no lightning bolt, no hard-ons, then you'll know that you're just gonna be friends. It doesn't necessarily take out the butterflies and question marks of getting to know someone gradually. This will still happen. But I think its better to know immediately whether or not you're physically compatible, than go through some drawn out antiquated courtship of several weeks/months, only to find out later that there is no "boing!" factor.
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:21 AM GMT
    I don't know you, so I don't know if you're weird or not. That's a different topic.

    There's no right or wrong answer. It depends on what you want out of the relationship and what you feel comfortable doing. You certainly shouldn't do it just because you feel pressured to. You also don't need to wait any specific amount of time because that's just an arbitrary restriction.

    Your friend sounds like a tool if he dumped someone for not putting out quickly enough.
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:28 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    Your friend sounds like a tool if he dumped someone for not putting out quickly enough.


    Then how come you told ME I couldn't have any cake unless I held your hand under the table?!?!?!!?!??!

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    Mar 28, 2012 4:32 AM GMT
    Cash saidThen how come you told ME I couldn't have any cake unless I held your hand under the table?!?!?!!?!??!

    icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif


    Oh!!!! Like it would have killed you!!!! Why are you so withholding???
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:34 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidMy high school girlfriend broke up with me, because I didn't put out. Funny story.


    You should call her up and thank her! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Pontifex

    Posts: 1882

    Mar 28, 2012 4:41 AM GMT
    When it feels right? I really think there should be some emotion other than lust involved in sex. Right now I wouldn't feel good if I just did someone because they were hot. I guess I'm weird too. ;)
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:41 AM GMT
    after our first date....
  • rogerfederer

    Posts: 300

    Mar 28, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    a relationship does not need sex...if u truly loved someone they could be impotent. so therefore u do not need to have sex until a bond is made. just wait. my bro and his gf have nvr done it and they been together for 2 years. its good if u wait...makes the moment that much special and it means something
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    Cash saidThen how come you told ME I couldn't have any cake unless I held your hand under the table?!?!?!!?!??!

    icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif


    Oh!!!! Like it would have killed you!!!! Why are you so withholding???


    Oh right, so you could go brag to all yer buddies at the pool hall?!?!!??!!??!

    I don't think so.

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    Mar 28, 2012 4:45 AM GMT
    Cash saidOh right, so you could go brag to all yer buddies at the pool hall?!?!!??!!??!

    I don't think so.

    icon_evil.gif


    Oh, I tell my pool hall buddies WAAAAAYYYYY more salacious things about us than that. It doesn't matter if it's true or not. I gotta boost my rep!
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:46 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidThen again, I've never been in a real relationship before so I have no idea if it's any better. I'll just have to wait and see.


    It is. Just wait. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:47 AM GMT
    rogerfederer saida relationship does not need sex...if u truly loved someone they could be impotent. so therefore u do not need to have sex until a bond is made. just wait. my bro and his gf have nvr done it and they been together for 2 years. its good if u wait...makes the moment that much special and it means something


    How long do you usually wait before you wish someone dies of AIDS @rogerfederer????

    Just asking.

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    Mar 28, 2012 4:49 AM GMT
    DudeInNOVA said
    Cash saidOh right, so you could go brag to all yer buddies at the pool hall?!?!!??!!??!

    I don't think so.

    icon_evil.gif


    Oh, I tell my pool hall buddies WAAAAAYYYYY more salacious things about us than that. It doesn't matter if it's true or not. I gotta boost my rep!


    Well, as long as it's not true....and it boosts yer rep you say????

    I guess that's ok.

    Lemme know if you need any pics. I have some real nice ones.
  • Pontifex

    Posts: 1882

    Mar 28, 2012 4:54 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    Pontifex saidWhen it feels right? I really think there should be some emotion other than lust involved in sex. Right now I wouldn't feel good if I just did someone because they were hot. I guess I'm weird too. ;)
    Ditto. I refuse to hook up with someone. Even when I didn't feel like I was in a relationship, I had no interest in hooking up with anyone. It's unfulfilling (for me), and always leaves me feeling incredibly dirty.

    Then again, I've never been in a real relationship before so I have no idea if it's any better. I'll just have to wait and see.


    It is so much better. I really hope you get to experience making love instead of just having sex. I've experienced both. I'm single right now and hoping I'll find the right guy. I'm not in a hurry to do anything.
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    Cash saidWell, as long as it's not true....and it boosts yer rep you say????

    I guess that's ok.

    Lemme know if you need any pics. I have some real nice ones.


    I already showed them some pics that I said were of you. (Again, the truth in not relevant here.) They were all like "DAAAMMMNNNN!!!!" By the way, if anyone asks, you're a neurosurgeon who pulls down $200k a year, and you're taking me to the Caribbean next month.
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    Mar 28, 2012 5:26 AM GMT
    Between two and three weeks
  • chgobuzz1

    Posts: 155

    Mar 28, 2012 5:31 AM GMT
    My rule is the third or 4th date. That way I get to learn about the guy and if I respect him, like him and fell I can love him. That seems to generate a lot of respect for me. I do make out a bit though icon_smile.gif

    Last guy I dated he wanted sex and I realized I could never date him by how he behaved on the second date... lost all respect for him once I saw how ego driven he was. Hot was not enough. I suspect had I given sex on the first date there would not have been a second.
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    Mar 28, 2012 5:42 AM GMT
    It's much much better. Trust me.

    Trollileo said
    Pontifex saidWhen it feels right? I really think there should be some emotion other than lust involved in sex. Right now I wouldn't feel good if I just did someone because they were hot. I guess I'm weird too. ;)
    Ditto. I refuse to hook up with someone. Even when I didn't feel like I was in a relationship, I had no interest in hooking up with anyone. It's unfulfilling (for me), and always leaves me feeling incredibly dirty.

    Then again, I've never been in a real relationship before so I have no idea if it's any better. I'll just have to wait and see.