Why don't people tell you that you look FAT?

  • Nospam

    Posts: 15

    Mar 28, 2012 5:53 AM GMT
    Why is it that your friends and family only tell you that you put on a few...only after you lost them?

    I co worker told me today "Have you lust weight"?

    I replied "Yes...can you tell"?

    She responded "On you face and stomach. Your stomach was the biggest that I have seen it!!!"

    Dammm...I have known her for five years...I was thinkin' I had it going on..

    Wish she mentioned it sooner..
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Mar 28, 2012 2:26 PM GMT
    If you keep your profile pictures updated we could tell you as soon as it happens.
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:35 PM GMT
    OP said:Why don't people tell you that you look FAT?


    Probably because it is rude, and they don't particularly want to start any fights over a matter that really doesn't affect them.
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:39 PM GMT
    Not my family, we love to tell each other how obese we're all getting. Our cruelty is what keeps us talking!

    Friends never tell me how thin my hair is getting or how much my belly covers my belt when I sit down. I guess they see me so often that they don't notice gradual changes. I don't notice it on them either.

    I would have liked them to say so but never asked, would've shaved my head and worked out much earlier!
  • jmanorlando

    Posts: 205

    Mar 28, 2012 2:44 PM GMT
    So many people are always trying to lose weight or struggle with it that to bring it up often brings pain.

    What I have found is that straight guy friends that joke and verbally abuse each other tend to bring it up more. They don't soay you gained weight but say stuff like "What's up chunk?" "Hmm, bulking up huh", "I guess there aren't anymore snacks left are there?"

    However gay guys never say this kind of stuff, but they might think it.

    On the flip side few people tell you they think you are to skinny either, until you gain a few pounds as I have had this happen to me as well.
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:49 PM GMT
    I tell my co-workers constantly...made a mooing sound yesterday when the got off the elevator caring that shit they call lunch.
    They call me the Carb-Nazi.
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:49 PM GMT
    Simple.

    They are liars, and they are pure rotten. Like most people. I live never door to two of em. I think I know now. icon_twisted.gif
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    Mar 28, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    They're insecure bastards; and probably in no shape or place to be telling your anything about your weight; so you should grow some thick skin for people like that. Do what you do, workout, be happy with yourself, and let your looks speak for themselves. People can and will say whatever stupidity they want. The point when you define yourself is what you do when you're met with such stupidity; and hopefully rise above it, and let it go.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Mar 28, 2012 2:57 PM GMT
    I like it when they comment that you've lost weight and you know you haven't lost a pound.....lol

    icon_eek.gif
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    Mar 28, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    Because contrary to popular belief not all fat people are jolly, full of mirth and merriment and if they got mad they could sit on you and squish you to death..
    So it's best not to say anything
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    Mar 28, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    Personally, I think people have got to be more self aware. I see lots of people around that are out of shape and have a "I've got it going on!" attitude. That's fine as long as they know exactly what they look like. The problem is not in the mirror, but in the mind.

    I know when I'm out of shape and when I'm not. I don't really need someone to tell me.

    It's funny that in the last year, due to a lot of job stress, I didn't get to the gym (either because of time or money.) I'm back at it now, and improving, but I didn't think for a minute that any softness was attractive or not noticeable. I know I'm not where I want to be yet, but I need only look in the mirror and then realistically assess whether I'm making progress or not. I see myself realistically and not as better or worse than that reality.

    If people tell you something that shocks you, or hurts you regarding weight, then you need to be more realistic in your self awareness. Keep in mind, that there are people who may say something just to be vindictive, but don't use that as a rationale to dismiss all comments.

    Many friends will not say anything because they are afraid of hurting your feelings. If you've got friends that are true enough to be tough with you, then you are lucky. I've known enough people who only surround themselves with people who will agree with them and not give genuinely honest feedback. If all your friends are sycophants, then you will not progress or improve yourself.

    I'm very direct with my friends in telling them to not hold back. I cannot fix things if I don't see the problem myself.
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    Mar 28, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    Telling people they're fat is just socially unacceptable. Plain and simple. A person's weight is a very personal aspect of their being, much as is age and salary or work in some contexts. Some cultures expect you to clean a dinner plate thoroughly or else it suggests to a host that their food is terrible. The English appreciate when guests offer a bottle of wine as a gift, but the French would be insulted because it suggests they can't provide their own good wine. It's just cultural etiquette.
  • Pontifex

    Posts: 1882

    Mar 28, 2012 4:23 PM GMT
    Does it matter if someone else tells you that you got fat? You already know. Someone else telling you isn't going to change anything.
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:33 PM GMT


    A little like telling someone in hospital, "I think you're gonna die!"

    ...rather than waiting for them to get better and then saying, "I thought you were going to die!"

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    Mar 28, 2012 4:41 PM GMT
    Every one tells me if I've gained or lost weight to them. I'm the incredible fluctuating man, apparently.
  • cookingitswee...

    Posts: 445

    Mar 28, 2012 4:46 PM GMT
    Telling someone they're fat? That is so mean. If someone did that I would flip out.
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
    If they say that to me, then they don't get 'favor'...icon_redface.gif
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    Mar 28, 2012 4:53 PM GMT
    my family doesn't tell me I'm getting fat. they tell me i'm too skinny to be on a diet. Its as if they think i'm popping fat loss pills or starving myself. I'm only trying to drop a little weight from my midsection. Good grief icon_eek.gif
  • swimmer8671

    Posts: 429

    Mar 28, 2012 5:11 PM GMT
    haha well as a good friend, i tell people if they are not in as good of shape as they previously were.

    It is like the same thing as someone having a piece of food stuck in their teeth and not telling them, its messed up!

    I don't say it like, you are fucking fat! haha i say, hey you have packed on a few pounds, you should come work out with me!
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    Mar 28, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said
    swimmer8671 said
    I don't say it like, you are fucking fat! haha i say, hey you have packed on a few pounds, you should come work out with me!

    Why not just hang a sign around your neck that says "I am a douchebag"? It would save time.


    Signs around my neck make me look fat.

    icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Mar 28, 2012 5:34 PM GMT
    Can't really say that I care what they say. I already know.
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    Mar 28, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    Oddly for me. I hear that I looked better fatter. Apparently weight loss doesn't suit me... lol...
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    Mar 28, 2012 6:01 PM GMT
    Pontifex saidDoes it matter if someone else tells you that you got fat? You already know. Someone else telling you isn't going to change anything.
    This* too
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    Mar 28, 2012 6:11 PM GMT
    beneful1 saidBecause contrary to popular belief not all fat people are jolly, full of mirth and merriment and if they got mad they could sit on you and squish you to death..
    So it's best not to say anything


    i have actually been sat upon by a very fat man, twice the size of me. he was developmentally delayed (i.e. "retarded") and this happened in a subway station where I was sitting on a bench with a friend.

    the fat man bounced toward us, and i thought he was going to sit on the end of the bench. instead, he sat upon me and tried to squirt me over to the side and off the bench by shifting his hips. kinda like he was trying to wipe me off the bench. icon_surprised.gif

    my friend burst out laughing at the whole scene! i was just shocked and tried to get away!

    long-story-short, i was surprised that he wasn't really that heavy. he was actually kinda ... fluffy. that seems to be the best word. he was definitely not merry or jolly, but we had a good laugh after it was all said and done. icon_lol.gif
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    Mar 28, 2012 6:12 PM GMT
    Always know the motive of the person giving you a compliment icon_razz.gif