He's perfect but there's no attraction

  • colenboy1

    Posts: 1

    Mar 29, 2012 4:40 AM GMT


    Should I give it a try? Will ''it'' ever come?
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    Mar 29, 2012 4:47 AM GMT
    colenboy1 saidI've been seeing this guy for a week now, every day.
    Lemme guess...you met on Grindr, CL, a4a, MH, or some other slut site? Maybe even a fitness-slut site? icon_razz.gif
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    Mar 29, 2012 4:55 AM GMT
    colenboy1 said
    I just don't feel it when we kiss.



    Feel what when you kiss? Unless I'm missing out, I do not feel anything when I kiss. It's an exchange of saliva, I'm not being difficult but is there really any sensation when kissing?
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    Mar 29, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    colenboy1 saidI've been seeing this guy for a week now, every day.
    Lemme guess...you met on Grindr, CL, a4a, MH, or some other slut site? Maybe even a fitness-slut site? icon_razz.gif


    You always beat me to these new posts!!!
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    Mar 29, 2012 5:01 AM GMT
    Jewlicious said
    paulflexes said
    colenboy1 saidI've been seeing this guy for a week now, every day.
    Lemme guess...you met on Grindr, CL, a4a, MH, or some other slut site? Maybe even a fitness-slut site? icon_razz.gif


    You always beat me to these new posts!!!
    Blame it on the alcohol.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 29, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    colenboy1 saidI've been seeing this guy for a week now, every day.
    Lemme guess...you met on Grindr, CL, a4a, MH, or some other slut site? Maybe even a fitness-slut site? icon_razz.gif

    Nothin wrong with sluttin it up a bit. icon_twisted.gif
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    Mar 29, 2012 5:47 AM GMT
    TheBizMan said
    paulflexes said
    colenboy1 saidI've been seeing this guy for a week now, every day.
    Lemme guess...you met on Grindr, CL, a4a, MH, or some other slut site? Maybe even a fitness-slut site? icon_razz.gif

    Nothin wrong with sluttin it up a bit. icon_twisted.gif
    Just don't spill the slut.

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    Mar 29, 2012 5:53 AM GMT
    Been there. Move on, you'll never be into him. But I do understand that it's an odd feeling when you're standing in front of someone who is A+ perfect in paper and you're just like..I don't want you.
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    Mar 29, 2012 1:12 PM GMT
    We can't force or fabricate physical attraction or physical chemistry. It's either there or not there. Don't waste your time if it's not there.
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    Mar 29, 2012 2:01 PM GMT
    You've been seeing the guy for a week and he's the perfect guy? Right. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Mar 29, 2012 2:49 PM GMT
    feel what? an oxytocin rush....that's what.
  • mikeeugene

    Posts: 84

    Mar 29, 2012 2:56 PM GMT
    You mean, after seven entire days, you're not sure he's the man of your dreams? Stick with it, and see what happens. That's much more reasonable than the people who think they've found the man of their dreams after knowing him 15 minutes and then try to force him to stick to their unrealistic notions that they developed before they got to know him.

    Let's just say I've been where you are now, and broke it off with the amazing guy. By the time I figured out what a great catch he would have been, there was no way back.
  • ATXnative

    Posts: 240

    Mar 29, 2012 3:08 PM GMT
    Ariodante saidBeen there. Move on, you'll never be into him. But I do understand that it's an odd feeling when you're standing in front of someone who is A+ perfect in paper and you're just like..I don't want you.


    this is true
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    Mar 29, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    In my opinion, there's either an instant attraction or there isn't. It doesn't grow on you. A guy can be perfect 'on paper' but the chemistry that makes it special, intense, awesome, may not be there. I don't think there is anything wrong with seeing him for a bit longer just to make sure, but it isn't fair to lead him on if you know that the spark, that unmistakable but undefinable spark, isn't there.
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    Mar 29, 2012 3:29 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidIn my opinion, there's either an instant attraction or there isn't. It doesn't grow on you. A guy can be perfect 'on paper' but the chemistry that makes it special, intense, awesome, may not be there. I don't think there is anything wrong with seeing him for a bit longer just to make sure, but it isn't fair to lead him on if you know that the spark, that unmistakable but undefinable spark, isn't there.


    This ! totally agree with every word.
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    Mar 29, 2012 5:46 PM GMT
    imasrxd saidIn my opinion, there's either an instant attraction or there isn't. It doesn't grow on you. A guy can be perfect 'on paper' but the chemistry that makes it special, intense, awesome, may not be there. I don't think there is anything wrong with seeing him for a bit longer just to make sure, but it isn't fair to lead him on if you know that the spark, that unmistakable but undefinable spark, isn't there.
    Agree.

    Never understood those who say "he will grow on you". What is he? A fungus?
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Mar 29, 2012 6:11 PM GMT
    You've been seeing the guy for a week.
    A week isn't very much time.
    You've seen him everyday - maybe too much too soon?
    If you see qualities in him you like, then what's the harm in continuing to date for awhile and see where it goes. And that doesn't mean seeing him everyday - that's just overkill.
    I agree there should be a spark when you kiss, but it doesn't happen every time with every guy, and you might be missing out on a great guy just because you're not feeling something that you probably don't really know how it's supposed to feel anyway.
    You are 22 years old.
    You do not need to worry about meeting "the one" right now - give yourself time - there is no magic age or time - when you meet the right one, you'll know.
    And, it may take longer than a week to realise who the right one is.
    Will "it" every come?, you ask.
    Depends on what "it" is.
    That sex toy you ordered?
    Or, love, romance, magic?
    Yes, it will come - but most of us didn't have it figured out at the age of 22, sometimes "it" comes after we know what "it" is.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Mar 29, 2012 9:31 PM GMT

    I think maybe what you need to do is sit down and be honest about what you really like in a guy: physically, mentally, socially, sexually. I think so many people have this idea of the "perfect" mate that is a combination of what family, friends and the media tell you to want, but might not actually bare any relation to the sort of person you actually desire and will feel fulfilled by.

    I had one friend who was always more sporty just up and "confess" one day that he really preferred femmy guys, and when he stopped caring what his buddies thought about that was when he started meeting guys he felt a real connection with. Similarly I have a straight friend who works for a Senator and loves politics and is incredibly outgoing but never had good luck with men, one day she said she realized that she really just always wanted a sort of stoic blue-collar type of guy like the ones from the small town she grew up in...she married an electrician a year later and they've been together over 5 years.
  • Rawrdo

    Posts: 343

    Mar 30, 2012 3:21 AM GMT
    Been there done that (through the other perspective) and I'd say if the attraction is there just move on, since its not doing neither person any favors. However, this all depends on how long you've known the person. If you have literally just met him then I think you should wait it out as you can't truly grasp how a person is in just a few days (most people are complex beings). If you guys have been friends for a while/known each other far more than just the week that you just started 'seeing' each other officially then I say walk away, because odds are your feelings won't grow.
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    Mar 30, 2012 3:23 AM GMT
    colenboy1 saidI've been seeing this guy for a week now, every day.
    He has everything I look for in a man, absolutely everything.
    I just don't feel it when we kiss.
    I'm trying to salvage this hope of me finally finding the right person
    might turn into romance.

    Should I give it a try? Will ''it'' ever come?


    File him under "friend."
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    Apr 01, 2012 7:31 AM GMT
    There is not always a rhyme or reason.

    Sometimes attraction is instant. Sometimes it is not. I have known guys that the attraction grew over time. I have known guys where the attraction hit me like a brick after a period of time. And there were guys that i had a instant attraction to but over time they totally turned me off.
    I think sometimes we only want a guy that we were instantly attracted to..the love at first site is not always what it seems. I think i would rather a guy that the attraction grew over time i think its more genuine then. But then again there is a guy that i was instantly attracted to and after years of knowing him and getting to know him i am now more attracted to him than i was when i first encountered him.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Apr 02, 2012 12:46 AM GMT
    I've been hearing this for hundreds of years. Yes I'm that old.

    Boy craves boy, boy finds boy who looks like the guys he's been jacking off for years, pretty boy turns out to be an asshole.

    Love isn't physical, it's a mind meld. I bet the guy you eventually fall in love with and marry (we can do that for you in Canada!) will look nothing like mr perfect that you're agonizing over now.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Apr 02, 2012 12:47 AM GMT
    jacking off to, I meant. Oh well it's not like anyone will read this.