bromance or more?


  • Mar 29, 2012 3:22 PM GMT
    So I have this friend, im gay (out) and he’s.. well I don’t know what he is. We have this intense relationship, where we constantly text and keep tabs on each other (I get about 4-5 texts from him every day just asking what im doing). We have dinner at these romantic restaurants where one of us will pay. We go to the movies together or just sit around drinking beer/wine and just talk. He’ll even make me dinner at his house.
    The only thing is, he is fucking a girl. He’ll talk to me about her, tell me how unattracted he is or how he hates spending time with her. He’ll even compare our relationships and say things like “Why can’t things with her be as easy as you and me?” He’ll even spend the whole day with me only to have her show up at 11:00pm so they can fuck without actually hanging out. It’s weird.
    I’ve only recently realized how attached Ive become because he’s been extremely busy these last few days doing field work (12-14 hour days). Hence, I can’t see him as much and my thoughts start to linger.
    Yesterday he took me out to dinner after a 14hour work day. He even paid. We were the only ones in the restaurant (he asked me and he chose it). It was a very romantic thai restaurant. He was clearly exhausted but he chose to spend his night with me instead of her.
    We match perfectly as a couple, except I fuck other guys and he’s fucking a girl.
    I’ve had bromances before but nothing like this. I don't even know if hes into guys. What have I gotten myself into?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2012 4:55 PM GMT
    Had a very similar experience with a married guy some years ago. He thought the idea of going on "dates" with another guy was hilarious but he would pick places that could not be construed as anything but a date place. Epic IM conversations, drunk texts, the works.
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    Mar 29, 2012 5:00 PM GMT
    fatgirl.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2012 5:05 PM GMT
    i lost a friend because of a situation like this ... he ended up falling for me then hated me for saying i was just trying to make him gay icon_cry.gif when all i was doing was just being a good friend and we just got really close ... he said he would never like another guy that i somehow just made him like me like that and that we should stop seeing each other for the best cuse he didn't like guys
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    Mar 29, 2012 5:05 PM GMT
    Oh great.............another brand spankin' new RJ member - - - with nothing whatsoever in his profile........and guess what? He has a question for all of us! How quaint. I'm not reading it.
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    Mar 29, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    martin-lomax-2.jpg
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Mar 29, 2012 6:29 PM GMT
    Tell him you like to fuck guys and he's a guy you'd like to fuck - then the ball's in his court, so to speak.
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    Mar 29, 2012 6:35 PM GMT
    Oh god Cash.... You open a thread and the first thing you see are these pics
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    Mar 29, 2012 6:40 PM GMT
    Haha Cash!
    Thank you for making threads much more enjoyable!
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Mar 29, 2012 8:00 PM GMT
    Cash saidfatgirl.jpg


    I LOVE CASH. I DO, I REALLY REALLY DO.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 29, 2012 8:03 PM GMT
    Cash rocksicon_biggrin.gif
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Mar 29, 2012 8:26 PM GMT
    intensity69 saidCash rocksicon_biggrin.gif


    He's looking good in both the pics he posted - that Cash sure can pull off a variety of looks.
  • chi_rock

    Posts: 207

    Mar 29, 2012 8:50 PM GMT
    Your buddy is a bit of a mess. To him it a bromance, but it seems to you you are hoping for more. My guess is it ends without satisfying either of you.
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    Mar 30, 2012 12:25 AM GMT
    I think some of the fear/mystery of straight guys comes from myths. Sure some of them are douchebags. But secure guys are not like that in my experience. I saw a couple posts on here that most American guys aren't intimate with each other and are all afraid of being called gay or homophobes. That is just not true.

    There are many perfectly straight guys who are not sexually interested in being with another guy, but capable of being "intimate" with another guy. Most of my buddies are that way, in fact. Like 2 weekends ago when I flew up to hang out with my buds, one gave me a hug and a kiss on the head saying that he loved me and it was in front of our group. The other guy sat on my lap for 30 seconds. Their gfs were there and none of us even saw it as remotely gay.

    When you're secure and capable of being loved, you're then capable of giving love regardless of what your penis tells you. It's a beautiful thing. Hold on to this dude, but find a fuckbuddy or bf so that you don't get blue balls. Good friends like that are hard to find.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Mar 30, 2012 12:35 AM GMT
    The myth is that we are souptins on a shelf with labels. The reality is that there are 10 tins on the shelf, and we all fit in different ones. Some are gay bashing jocks in the 1 tin. The others are the ones that dance naked in the gay pride parade, with the tootoos. They're in the 10 tin. The rest of us are in the 4 5 and 6 tin. Floating around with husband and wives and lovers. We're all some version of bisexual or the margins of it. Even your mother and father.

    This guy that you're "dating" is only different in that he might have some mental health issues. Take him to a vet if he thinks he's a werewolf from watching too much of the Twilight BluRays. Take him to a psychiatrist before you sign over any of your property to him in a prenuptual.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    Cash is hilarious! Lol
  • trakstar90

    Posts: 119

    Mar 30, 2012 1:04 AM GMT
    Brownale saidI think some of the fear/mystery of straight guys comes from myths. Sure some of them are douchebags. But secure guys are not like that in my experience. I saw a couple posts on here that most American guys aren't intimate with each other and are all afraid of being called gay or homophobes. That is just not true.

    There are many perfectly straight guys who are not sexually interested in being with another guy, but capable of being "intimate" with another guy. Most of my buddies are that way, in fact. Like 2 weekends ago when I flew up to hang out with my buds, one gave me a hug and a kiss on the head saying that he loved me and it was in front of our group. The other guy sat on my lap for 30 seconds. Their gfs were there and none of us even saw it as remotely gay.

    When you're secure and capable of being loved, you're then capable of giving love regardless of what your penis tells you. It's a beautiful thing. Hold on to this dude, but find a fuckbuddy or bf so that you don't get blue balls. Good friends like that are hard to find.






    agree
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    Mar 30, 2012 1:40 AM GMT
    CuriousOne saidCash is hilarious! Lol


    +1
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Mar 30, 2012 2:09 AM GMT
    Cash saidmartin-lomax-2.jpg

    what is this?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2012 2:52 AM GMT
    Photobucket
    More...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2012 6:46 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said
    Jockbod48 saidOh great.............another brand spankin' new RJ member - - - with nothing whatsoever in his profile........and guess what? He has a question for all of us! How quaint. I'm not reading it.


    Yeah how dare someone ask or care about your opinion.


    Oh look - - - another zero with an empty profile. And what did you hope to accomplish here?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2012 7:17 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said
    Jockbod48 saidOh great.............another brand spankin' new RJ member - - - with nothing whatsoever in his profile........and guess what? He has a question for all of us! How quaint. I'm not reading it.


    Yeah how dare someone ask or care about your opinion.


    better+martin+pic.png
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2012 7:34 AM GMT
    Brownale saidI think some of the fear/mystery of straight guys comes from myths. Sure some of them are douchebags. But secure guys are not like that in my experience. I saw a couple posts on here that most American guys aren't intimate with each other and are all afraid of being called gay or homophobes. That is just not true.

    There are many perfectly straight guys who are not sexually interested in being with another guy, but capable of being "intimate" with another guy. Most of my buddies are that way, in fact. Like 2 weekends ago when I flew up to hang out with my buds, one gave me a hug and a kiss on the head saying that he loved me and it was in front of our group. The other guy sat on my lap for 30 seconds. Their gfs were there and none of us even saw it as remotely gay.

    When you're secure and capable of being loved, you're then capable of giving love regardless of what your penis tells you. It's a beautiful thing. Hold on to this dude, but find a fuckbuddy or bf so that you don't get blue balls. Good friends like that are hard to find.


    i really like what you said
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2012 7:50 AM GMT
    Brownale saidI think some of the fear/mystery of straight guys comes from myths. Sure some of them are douchebags. But secure guys are not like that in my experience. I saw a couple posts on here that most American guys aren't intimate with each other and are all afraid of being called gay or homophobes. That is just not true.

    There are many perfectly straight guys who are not sexually interested in being with another guy, but capable of being "intimate" with another guy. Most of my buddies are that way, in fact. Like 2 weekends ago when I flew up to hang out with my buds, one gave me a hug and a kiss on the head saying that he loved me and it was in front of our group. The other guy sat on my lap for 30 seconds. Their gfs were there and none of us even saw it as remotely gay.

    When you're secure and capable of being loved, you're then capable of giving love regardless of what your penis tells you. It's a beautiful thing. Hold on to this dude, but find a fuckbuddy or bf so that you don't get blue balls. Good friends like that are hard to find.


    I agree with most of this. I think part of the reason it works so well in these straight/gay "intimate friendships" is when the straight guy feels zero threat of the gay guy trying to be more than friends.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Mar 30, 2012 10:27 AM GMT
    My man has a good friend/former co-worker who has a Big Time "bromance" goin' on with him. Paramedics work long hours together; many share a close emotional bond with their co-workers, often a "us against them" (the rest of the outside, non-EMT world) mentality. But this attraction is stronger than that, most of his co-workers are aware of the lopsided "bromance" goin' on between the two.

    At his wedding more than one person snickered that the best man (my friend) and the bride should had changed positions; that when they do divorce my man will be the first person he has sex with (if he already hasn't).

    This guy doesn't like me much at all. Several of us joke that it's a classic case of displacement envy; that deep down inside he wishes that he was enjoying the awesome sex with my friend, on a regular and reoccuring basis, as I do!

    At a bbq he quietly walked in on my man and I sharing a long, wet french kiss. The look of envy (and dislike towards me) was quite noticeable!