Is my ex in a rebound relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 30, 2012 10:25 PM GMT
    So I'm sure this topic comes up all the time but I feel like my situation is slightly more complicated. So I met my ex in late 2009 and we immediately fell for each other. Everything was great and we were really happy for a long time. We moved in together early on in our relationship (6 months). Things were great for the next year. Last summer we started fighting all the time mostly about money and trivial things that had to do with us living together with other roommates. We broke up last summer for about 2 days and then got back together because we missed each other. I however moved out and got my own place with some roommates because I thought some space would help ease some of the tension. Things really did get better for a few months however the holiday season caused some more stress finally on new years eve we broke things off again and we both confessed some sketchy things we had done while we were dating (not quite cheating). I told him that I wanted to move back home with my parents for a while and he begged me not to. He had a spare bedroom at his place so I agreed to stay for the remainder of the lease. His landlord found out I was living there about a week later so he told me i had to move all the stuff out of the room I was staying in. I again told my ex that I was moving home and when I went to work that day he moved all of my stuff including my bed into his bedroom and that we would be roommates. He had gone on a few dates with a few different guys and had even hooked up with a couple of them. However he only talked to each of these guys for about a week before moving on. We had hooked up a few times since the breakup mostly drunken hookups and one day we hooked up and he said that he missed me and that he wanted me back. We secretly "dated" again for about 2 weeks and then one day he told me that he just didn't trust me yet and that we just shouldnt be together right now but that he would respect the fact that we had an awkward living situation so he would delete all of his profiles on dating websites till we weren't living together anymore. A month went by and it was ok (we did hookup a few more times and i did sleep in his bed with him a lot unhealthy i know) and one day I found out that one of his good friends from home was trying to set him up with a friend of hers from school. They started texting for a few weeks and i confronted him about it and he said that they lived too far away to date but that he seemed like a really nice kid. They started texting all the time and finally about a week and a half ago they met and went to the movies together and spent a few hours together and he came home. This past tuesday he went out and visited him and he actually stayed the night. They have plans to hang out next tuesday as well. I confronted him about it today and I was like you guys are dating aren't you..? His response was yes. He told me that he really liked the kid and that he didn't mean for this to happen. Once my ex moves home the driving distance between them will be about 1 and a half to two hours away from each other. The kid kind of looks like me shorter (5'7") darker features "normal" etc. Even in the past few weeks I feel like my ex has done little things to show that hes not completely over me such as giving me a spare key to his new car to hold onto or sitting next to me on one of our love seats when theres plenty of other space and turns over as if he wants me to big spoon him. I've had so many people tell me that neither of us will truely get over each other unless we aren't living together anymore. Is it possible that he really has just moved on or is this just another rebound? They've been "talking" for about a month now and have hung out two times.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Mar 31, 2012 2:01 AM GMT
    you should be an author bruh
  • leojock1985

    Posts: 76

    Mar 31, 2012 2:03 AM GMT
    in time you both will move on!! stop worrying about his life and get on with your own!! the fact that you decided to put an topic on here about it says you are obsessing over his life and not focusing on your own.. relationships fail it's a part of life.. just move on

    Might be alittle harsh but sometimes it's what people need!! so many people get hung up on ex's that they miss out on other great guys!! just sayin
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2012 6:15 AM GMT
    I know we'll both move on..... after we move out. The most important part of moving on is the time apart. I live in the same room as my ex. Its pretty impossible for me to get over him when i literally see him every day and sleep in the same room as him. I want him back though and I know part of him wants me back too.
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1919

    Mar 31, 2012 6:49 AM GMT
    How about the "Reader's Digest" version?

    You could write for a soap opera - you need to move out no matter what your ex tries to say to keep you there or neither one of you will move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2012 6:55 AM GMT
    TL;DR but I figure it's something about your ex. Whatever it is, stop thinking about your ex. Move on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2012 6:59 AM GMT
    I mean you both should evaluate the situation from an unbiased view, which isn't the easiest thing to do. From what I read it seems like both of you two are still in love with each other, and that's perfectly normal; but it doesn't call for you two to be each others significant other. That was a hard concept for me to get over when I ended my first long relationship. If you guys are unhappy, or you two's relationship is unhealthy, then maybe it's best that you don't try to pursue each other.

    Once you two move away from each other, feelings will die, and new ones will blossom. At the point, you will be able to make a better decision.

    And to answer your question, personally I think he is.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2012 11:11 PM GMT
    Well the thing is neither of really have a place to go. A friend of his brothers is currently living in his bedroom and this kid will be moving out so my ex can move in at the end of may. I am in a similar situation I no longer have a bedroom at home and i am getting a new apartment with one of my current roommates. I know that the only thing that is going to fix things is time. I just feel like his breakdown two weeks in and the on and off hookups were signs that he wasn't over me. I can't believe that just because he met a guy that he likes that his feelings for me would just completely vanish. I did the rebound thing too and i'll be honest at first it was great because I just didn't feel sad anymore you know? I feel like hes doing something similar. He might not realize it yet but I don't think its a good idea for him to just jump into a relationship right away as he still clearly has feelings for me. No one knows when they are in a rebound relationship. My rebound who i am still friends with actually told me that he could see how obvious that my ex still has feelings for me and that he thinks that this new guy is just his rebound so that he isn't in as much pain.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 31, 2012 11:17 PM GMT
    *wall of text crits you for 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 damage. You die.