Should you tell someone (yes he's gay) that you have a crush on him?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    I'm kind of wondering about this.

    I met this guy at work, and I see him every weekend. He's definitely gay. We talk to each other constantly, and he always asks me when I work. I asked him out and he said yes, but that he's busy right now (studying for the MCAT. Obviously my crushing nature doesn't want to wait, so I'm considering just being direct with him and telling him I have a crush on him.

    I'm a pretty direct person and not embarrassed about being gay. We just need to move this beyond work because I can't say a lot of things at work (I work in a hospital with patients and co-workers around me constantly) that I would like to.

    Also, he's hot and ripped. I don't want to let this one get away icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 5:38 AM GMT
    Get over it. If he wanted you as bad as he wanted him, you wouldn't even know he is studying for his MCAT till AFTER he fucked you (or vice versa, or both).
  • xebec75

    Posts: 243

    Mar 31, 2012 5:40 AM GMT
    god...I hate agreeing with paulflexes
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Mar 31, 2012 5:42 AM GMT
    You asked him out so he knows you like him. If the feelings were mutual, he would make time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 5:43 AM GMT
    lol Paul, I read your post and I thought..
    main%201243827407_1024x768_up-film-2009-

    And yeah, I'm not saying I expect him to crush back and I definitely agree with him putting things like the MCAT ahead of a date is not a good sign. But, I'm not asking about THAT. I know that. Is admitting a crush to another gay guy bad? Its how I've gotten over them in the past.

    I'd rather be honest with him and move on as friends then have drama and repressed feelings for him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 5:43 AM GMT
    be patient or your impatient may end up ruining everything!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 5:48 AM GMT
    You sure he feels the same? Be pretty darn awkward if he says no....and you have to see him everyday....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 5:53 AM GMT
    i_VAN saidYou sure he feels the same? Be pretty darn awkward if he says no....and you have to see him everyday....


    Yeah.. It seems like the opinion is not to tell him that lol. It seems kind of stupid now that I think of it. It wouldn't really change anything except to make it more awkward. We get along really well, have a lot in common and we both enjoy that so, take what I can get right? He's more focused on med school right now. I get that, even if I don't share the same "med school goes before everything in my life" philosophy that most med students follow.

    It would be doubly awkward for him because he depends on me for clinical experience and I landed him the spot to shadow us in a hospital that doesn't like students. So, he couldn't avoid me icon_razz.gif That's why I've hesitated being anymore than friendly. I'm crushing but I haven't DONE anything irrational.. just had the thoughts icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 5:55 AM GMT
    WTF is an MCAT? Pardon my ignorance, but maybe this MCAT thing really is more important to him right now. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 5:56 AM GMT
    Martin_Maros saidWTF is an MCAT? Pardon my ignorance, but maybe this MCAT thing really is more important to him right now. Doesn't mean he doesn't like you.


    Medical College Admission Test (MCAT). Your score is the the single biggest indicator of what medical school you might be able to get into (if any). It's immensely difficult, expansive and covers a wide domain of science.

    It's not the biggest test in medical school for sure, but its the med students first introduction to the level of stress med school is going to bring them.

    I know he likes me, he's said as much. I just had the impulse to press things further but I've decided to calm down and give him space.

    Paul is still wrong...just..because.
  • agro

    Posts: 199

    Mar 31, 2012 9:29 AM GMT
    Hold on, you guys think it's bad that a guy is choosing study for what could be something that changes his career entirely over a date? What?
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    Mar 31, 2012 9:39 AM GMT
    life is short, go get him tiger!
  • neill10

    Posts: 10

    Mar 31, 2012 9:50 AM GMT
    He's hot and he's a doctor? icon_biggrin.gif dude you can't afford to let this one get away lol.
    Kidding. Naw leave him alone, if he doesn't want to spend time with you in a casual setting then it's safe to say he wouldn't want to spend time with you in a romantic setting. (His loss I am sure)

    If he does and mcats is the real reason then wait for him to approach you. Either way you lose nothing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 10:01 AM GMT
    Generally, I'd say tell him. Better to just be open about it and see what he says. But if you have to work with him everyday and, particularly, if you are in a position where you are supervising or mentoring him, I think keeping silent for the time being is the best course of action.
  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Mar 31, 2012 12:27 PM GMT
    From my experience with many doctor friends, the MCAT is one of the most stressful things in their career. So I'd say you'd do good to back off a little right now.

    Also, he said yes, but also told you the reason why right now is not a good time. So my interpretation is he's not blowing you off, just that the MCAT is extremely important to him.

    I think it would reflect well on you to him if you display your maturity and manage your crush for the moment. Good things come to those who wait. If you guys are meant to be, it will happen eventually.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 12:32 PM GMT
    The old me would tell you to go with your heart's every desire. The more experienced new me, wants to let you to let go and be happy elsewhere. You know what is really important in this entire scenario? What your intuition/instincts first tell you to do when you ask yourself what YOU think YOU SHOULD DO. That is what matters in the beginning and the end. Praise, Jesus!icon_twisted.gif Can I get a boy.. friend..!!icon_razz.gif
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    Mar 31, 2012 2:06 PM GMT
    Why wait? If he's gay then I don't see what you have to lose. The worst he'll say is that he just wants you and him to be gay best friends. If he was straight then there might be some danger, but he's gay.
  • AirLandia

    Posts: 110

    Mar 31, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    Well if he's hot and ripped then that's more than enough reason to not let him go. You should start texting him constantly and also if you're not already friends on facebook seal that deal now to post on his wall!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 2:18 PM GMT
    archon saidbe patient or your impatient may end up ruining everything!!
    ^^ This, my dear Adam. Be supportive of him and where he is in his life right now.

    Not only will you get a few bonus points with him, you can get to know him a little better over time. A win-win.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 2:23 PM GMT
    I do NOT think you should tell him. I'm going to be completely honest, sorry -- but the fact that he said he can't go on a date because he's "busy studying for the MCAT" -- while it's true, he may be preparing for an MCAT someday, the fact of the matter is that anyone can make time for a date, and if he was into you, he would DEFINITELY do that.

    He let you down easy, so just let it go and don't make it any more awkward with him. You'll come off as annoying and push him away more.

    You live in Brooklyn. There are a TON more men waiting for you. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 2:26 PM GMT


    " I asked him out and he said yes, but that he's busy right now (studying for the MCAT."

    That sounds reasonable, and there's a bonus; he not only knows you're interested that way *winks* but the ball is now nicely in his court. I think you now have the opportunity to just be a nice fellow and let him experience that.

    warmly,

    -Doug


    PS Maybe this will help: If he had asked you out would you think he was interested? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    I think you should trust your instincts, but proceed with caution. Knowing the medical field,you understand that some people marry themselves to their studies. If you think this could go somewhere later on I don't see anything wrong with taking a chance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 2:37 PM GMT
    He probably already knows. I'd just give it time. No reason to rush things.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 2:49 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidGet over it. If he wanted you as bad as he wanted him, you wouldn't even know he is studying for his MCAT till AFTER he fucked you (or vice versa, or both).



    ppl come and go, MCAT always stays in love with you.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Mar 31, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    WTF MCATS is a BIG deal. If someone REALLY wanted to go med school they'd be focusing on that shit too, You're required to make sacrifices as med student to set your record straight, not adhering to that can mean HARSH consequences so I understand where he's coming from. I'd say be patient and see just don't have expectations yet, If it's meant to be it'll happen.