Sex on the first date?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 13, 2008 10:42 PM GMT
    First, sorry if this has been discused already. So, i havent dated in a while, from being burned the last time. I decided i need to get out there again, since being single is kinda boring for me. i also decided im not going to sleep with my date until at least our second encounter. I have noticed that some guys get offended, like im not interested, but thats not my intentions. Do you guys try to hold out too or does it not matter?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 13, 2008 10:51 PM GMT
    There is no hard and fast rule... (actually, there is...if he's hard he will want to do it fast ... hahahahahah oh i crack me up) ... as I was saying before I so rudely interrupted myself....

    there is no hard and fast rule. Guys will want to hop in the sack at the first opportunity. That might mean he just uses you and you never hear from him again. Or he might like you and come back for more. But if you hold out until the second date, you will bed more that are interested in you.

    I think the trick (no pun intended) is to arrange a date so the opportunity of hopping right into the sack is either inconvenient, or a kind of date where you get to know the guy better...and you call the shot.

    Or, hell, you could look at it this way...at least you're getting laid.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 14, 2008 12:37 AM GMT
    Caslon is right...
    It's up to you
    If a guy is interested in you he won't run away
    if you don't have sex with him right away
    then again if you want to there's nothing wrong with that either
    I usually don't like having sex on the first date because then the relationship is always about the sex
    and you don't know if the guy likes you because he likes "you" or because you have a big dick...or a hot ass
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 12:41 AM GMT
    ... so the last guy i was interested in and i did exactly what you're thinkin' of doin'. We went on two dates... lots of pda and I thought there was a connection. third date? we did it.

    neva heard from him again tscheeez... icon_sad.gif
  • MuslDrew

    Posts: 463

    Jul 14, 2008 2:34 AM GMT
    I try to hold off on the sex. The anticipation is almost as much, but for a much shorter time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 2:38 AM GMT
    If after the first date we end up in bed, I typically know that that's the end of it. If it's someone that I truly want to get to know, I'll put sex off. But that's just me. I know of some relationships where sex on the first date isn't something that has gotten in the way. Everyone's different.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 2:48 AM GMT
    HighVoltageGuy saidIf after the first date we end up in bed, I typically know that that's the end of it. If it's someone that I truly want to get to know, I'll put sex off. But that's just me. I know of some relationships where sex on the first date isn't something that has gotten in the way. Everyone's different.


    What he said. I have had sex on the first date several times. Every single time, I never heard from them again.

    Twice I put sex off, for several dates maybe longer. In one case there, we had a 3 year relationship. In the other, a 4 year.

    And to be fair, once I put sex off for several weeks, and he dumped me because it seemed to him I just wasn't interested. I tried to explain (cause we had many hot make-out sessions), but he told me to fuck off.

    So, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 2:54 AM GMT
    Sex on the first date is usually a good way to get sex, but not a relationship. If it's a relationship you're looking for, hold off on sex until you've had several dates, several long casual conversations, and really gotten to know each other. Otherwise, you're trying out a sex partner instead of a potential life partner.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 3:24 AM GMT
    spacinjasin saidDo you guys try to hold out too or does it not matter?


    Who says there even has to be a "date" first? [crickets chirping] C'mon...I'm not the only one... Am I?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 3:34 AM GMT
    stonecoldfoxboy said
    spacinjasin saidDo you guys try to hold out too or does it not matter?


    Who says there even has to be a "date" first? [crickets chirping] C'mon...I'm not the only one... Am I?

    One day stonecold was walking down the street and this guy said "hi" and stonecold said "hi" and they fucked. ... THE END ... icon_eek.gif ... icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 3:38 AM GMT
    What happens, happens. Personally, I think you should wait to have sex, but if you meet someone and you both agree you just want sex, that's fine. Although I guess it's not that easy either...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 4:04 AM GMT
    Yeah I agree. Sucks that people are so afraid to be honest... but i guess "Hey, i just want a quick ****" doesn't roll off the tongue so easily.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 4:23 AM GMT
    Nooooooooooooooooo! Keep em' guessing!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 2:49 PM GMT

    There is something to be said for holding off, but honestly, when it comes right down to it, do you really want to be with someone who isn't compatible?

    Like the idiots who talk about "sex before marriage." Really? Would you buy the car before taking a test drive? Oh HELL NO! I drive it hard and put 'er up tired befor I decide to put any money down.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 3:21 PM GMT
    If u feel that u r connecting then go for it . It seems that it gets more awkward the longer you wait especially when both guys are too shy to make the first move.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 3:23 PM GMT
    It REALLY depends on the guy AND the situation! I mean, if the physical attraction is there and strong enough, just go for it as long as you understand that you may not go out again. Other than that holding out isn't a BAD thing, just a choice!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 14, 2008 3:24 PM GMT
    reedw saidYeah I agree. Sucks that people are so afraid to be honest... but i guess "Hey, i just want a quick ****" doesn't roll off the tongue so easily.



    Actually, it does!
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Jul 14, 2008 3:32 PM GMT
    ALL my bf (except for one who was my manager )start as a sexual partner and one night stand kinda stuff. Some guy will call back (or I call back) after we have sex , most do not. I dont think I am a slut, no moral person or anything. My last bf , was some guy I pick up at a dark gay notorious public park. We meet, I take him home , have great sex . Tommorrow he call me like three times, we slowly fall in love and get serious.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 15, 2008 12:38 AM GMT
    Caslon5000 said
    stonecoldfoxboy said
    spacinjasin saidDo you guys try to hold out too or does it not matter?


    Who says there even has to be a "date" first? [crickets chirping] C'mon...I'm not the only one... Am I?

    One day stonecold was walking down the street and this guy said "hi" and stonecold said "hi" and they fucked. ... THE END ... icon_eek.gif ... icon_lol.gif


    haha, I think i saw that story line on VH1 the other night.

    btw, thanks for the good advice guys
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 15, 2008 3:43 AM GMT
    Caslon5000 said
    stonecoldfoxboy said
    spacinjasin saidDo you guys try to hold out too or does it not matter?


    Who says there even has to be a "date" first? [crickets chirping] C'mon...I'm not the only one... Am I?

    One day stonecold was walking down the street and this guy said "hi" and stonecold said "hi" and they fucked. ... THE END ... icon_eek.gif ... icon_lol.gif


    *groans* Oh how I'd love to be able to tell a story like that again... OOOOH HOW I WANT IT... erm... *cough*
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 15, 2008 3:47 AM GMT
    lilTanker said
    Caslon5000 said
    stonecoldfoxboy said
    spacinjasin saidDo you guys try to hold out too or does it not matter?


    Who says there even has to be a "date" first? [crickets chirping] C'mon...I'm not the only one... Am I?

    One day stonecold was walking down the street and this guy said "hi" and stonecold said "hi" and they fucked. ... THE END ... icon_eek.gif ... icon_lol.gif


    *groans* Oh how I'd love to be able to tell a story like that again... OOOOH HOW I WANT IT... erm... *cough*


    hey, I set the scene. I developed the characters. And there was an action. What more do you want?
  • bad_boy018

    Posts: 15

    Jul 15, 2008 5:08 AM GMT
    I've done both... I'll admit it. There is something to be said for a connection between two people that occurs instantly, but as almost all have said, that only lasts in that moment... then its over and you move on...

    I think, in waiting, sex is better because you actually know more about the person, so you want to please them, and they you, its not just about fucking and getting off anymore... at least in theory. If someone is willing to wait, they are worth keeping around (at least these days...)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 15, 2008 6:46 AM GMT
    How much time do you want to invest in that person? If you think they're worth it then it's best to hold off having sex immediately. When you get to know each other then it makes it more difficult to run off.

    Or you may get to know them and realise that actually you don't like them very much and it may be a relief that you haven't had sex with them.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jul 15, 2008 7:11 AM GMT
    Sex on a first date is not a date it's a hook-up!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Jul 15, 2008 7:18 AM GMT
    my boyfriend and i fucked on our first date, for about five hours, and almost two years later we're still very very happily attached and sex is NOT what our relationship is about. love, interest, shared interests, and a great many other things.

    do what you want to do, when you find someone that likes doing the same thing at that moment, it makes for a great night. when you both like doing the same thing the following day, you're off to a good start.

    there are no rules. there will always be a circumstance or experience to break every rule.