Why are guys so rude?

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  Apr 03, 2012 7:28 PM GMT

  Every guy I've met lately either on campus or off that I kinda liked and wanted to hangout and get to know better, rather than throwing myself at them and being all over them and making them uncomfortable, I just ask them to chill as friends and nothing more. Like grab a beer maybe grab some food or whatever. They never seem to want to be bothered. I get brushed off ignored and stuff like that. Either one I'm really ugly and no one wants me lol, or two I'm approaching the wrong way.
  
  When there is guy u like and you want to get to know them better how do you approach them or vis versa if a guy likes you?

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• BmwKid92
  
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  Apr 03, 2012 7:30 PM GMT

  ........... #lame
  
  brewha just see what you have in common. QUESTION ANSEWERED, NO1 ELSE REPLY HERE

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  Apr 03, 2012 7:30 PM GMT

  It's because you're in Dinglebury, CT.
  Small towns are always shit for meeting guys.

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  Apr 03, 2012 7:32 PM GMT

  paulflexes saidIt's because you're in Dinglebury, CT.
  Small towns are always shit for meeting guys.

  
  
  lol I've been thinking that's maybe why. Most of the gay guys here at the college or around Danbury are snobby closet cases that try so hard to be straight and look cool.

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• commoncoll
  
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  Apr 03, 2012 7:33 PM GMT

  It's not rudeness. They simply don't want to take time out of there day to meet someone. That is called personal preference, not rudeness.
  
  Don't ask to meet for food and beer especially when you don't know the person unless it's lunch time and you are both eating right there and know each other casually. You invite them to spend time together that forces conversation after you have spoken a number of times and feel like you know each other.

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  Apr 03, 2012 7:34 PM GMT

  CollegeDude27 said Either one I'm really ugly and no one wants me lol, or two I'm approaching the wrong way.
  

  
  
  
  We'll be the judge of that. Unlock your damn pics.

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  Apr 03, 2012 7:35 PM GMT

  commoncoll saidIt's not rudeness. They simply don't want to take time out of there day to meet someone. That is called personal preference, not rudeness.
  
  Don't ask to meet for food and beer especially when you don't know the person unless it's lunch time and you are both eating right there.. You do that after you have spoken a number of times and feel like you know each other.

  
  
  That's just the thing... its a small campus and we have come into contact and spoken numerous times whether its at parties or in classes. It always seemed to go well but maybe I was wrong.

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• commoncoll
  
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  Apr 03, 2012 7:40 PM GMT

  CollegeDude27 said
  That's just the thing... its a small campus and we have come into contact and spoken numerous times whether its at parties or in classes. It always seemed to go well but maybe I was wrong.

  
  Go workout with them or watch a game together or talk about your jobs and such if you both have one. Don't ask them to spend time with you when you are the focus, that's basically you throwing yourself at them and forces them to be in an awkward situation. This works for romantic interests but not platonic relationships.

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  Apr 03, 2012 7:43 PM GMT

  commoncoll said

  CollegeDude27 said
  That's just the thing... its a small campus and we have come into contact and spoken numerous times whether its at parties or in classes. It always seemed to go well but maybe I was wrong.

  
  Go workout with them or watch a game together or talk about your jobs and such if you both have one. Don't ask them to spend time with you when you are the focus, that's basically you throwing yourself at them and forces them to be in an awkward situation. This works for romantic interests but not platonic relationships.

  
  
  I've asked every scenario lol... gym, grab a beer, go to a party at the football house, come to the club with me and some people... nothing works haha

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  Apr 03, 2012 7:46 PM GMT

  is it just me, or have we had this EXACT same discussion before? I mean to the letter?

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  Apr 03, 2012 7:47 PM GMT

  CollegeDude27 said

  commoncoll said

  CollegeDude27 said
  That's just the thing... its a small campus and we have come into contact and spoken numerous times whether its at parties or in classes. It always seemed to go well but maybe I was wrong.

  
  Go workout with them or watch a game together or talk about your jobs and such if you both have one. Don't ask them to spend time with you when you are the focus, that's basically you throwing yourself at them and forces them to be in an awkward situation. This works for romantic interests but not platonic relationships.

  
  
  I've asked every scenario lol... gym, grab a beer, go to a party at the football house, come to the club with me and some people... nothing works haha

  
  
  
  Thanks for unlocking. I don't think it's your looks dude. Although no one is everyone's type. I'd say it's either you're just coming on a little too strong or it's just the fact that you live in the northeast. That area is not exactly known for being friendly. Still, I would slow my roll and see if that helps. At least that you can control.

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  Apr 03, 2012 8:03 PM GMT

  I don't want to be friends with everyone. It's not rude, it's just a different preference. You might not want to assume that a person is wanting what you want.
  
  Also, I'd need there to be something we have in common or some reason to indicate it is worthwhile spend my time on getting to know someone. If we gave an hour of our day to getting to know 10 people a day, we would have no time for anything else, and still not be guaranteed that any of those people are "our type of person".

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  Apr 03, 2012 8:17 PM GMT

  guys are often rude, because people are often rude, because people are often shitheads.
  
  that's my current stance on guys.
  
  and girls.

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  Apr 03, 2012 8:21 PM GMT

  It's because you're in your early 20s, and people are still vulnerable and trying to figure out who they are, so they put up a front or an attitude as a defence mechanism.
  
  By the time you turn 30, people are a lot less rude — and it's pretty clear-cut who grew up and who didn't.

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  Apr 03, 2012 8:27 PM GMT

  I can be pretty asocial if I want to. Not to be rude or anything, I just want to be left alone then. Maybe it's the same for them?

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  Apr 03, 2012 9:40 PM GMT

  hyperionx saidIt's because you're in your early 20s, and people are still vulnerable and trying to figure out who they are, so they put up a front or an attitude as a defence mechanism.
  
  By the time you turn 30, people are a lot less rude — and it's pretty clear-cut who grew up and who didn't.

  
  
  
  There's a lot of truth in this. It generally gets easier as it goes along. Generally.

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  Apr 04, 2012 12:14 AM GMT

  CollegeDude27 said

  paulflexes saidIt's because you're in Dinglebury, CT.
  Small towns are always shit for meeting guys.

  
  
  lol I've been thinking that's maybe why. Most of the gay guys here at the college or around Danbury are snobby closet cases that try so hard to be straight and look cool.

  
  
  ROFL...speaking of snobby closet cases.

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  Apr 04, 2012 2:11 AM GMT

  chuckystud said

  CollegeDude27 said

  paulflexes saidIt's because you're in Dinglebury, CT.
  Small towns are always shit for meeting guys.

  
  
  lol I've been thinking that's maybe why. Most of the gay guys here at the college or around Danbury are snobby closet cases that try so hard to be straight and look cool.

  
  
  ROFL...speaking of snobby closet cases.

  
  
  I'm in the closet to the public but all my friends know... and no I am far from snobby

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• AthleticGeek
  
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  Apr 04, 2012 2:12 AM GMT

  If you don't look like a model, it's the way of the gay world. Plain and simple. So don't blame yourself. Stay kind, and gentleman-ly. Don't become embittered by the rudeness of the gay world, because then, "they" win....Take it from a loser.

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