I find "not sexually attracted" somewhat offensive.

  • johnny9027

    Posts: 90

    Apr 04, 2012 10:51 PM GMT
    I heard ppl said that to me two years ago when I first went to a gay bar. I felt deeply hurt at the moment. While dating my boyfriend, he once said that he is not sexually attracted to black guys, which makes me feel kinda uncomfortable as well.

    I knew this is basically the first reason why you wanna be with someone and sleep with someone, just like all gay guys are not sexually attracted to girls.

    However I just found it somewhat offensive but true. Maybe truth always hurts and there's nothing to complain about. It's just my two cents. icon_sad.gif
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    Apr 05, 2012 12:55 AM GMT
    Get over it. It's good that everyone is not attracted to everyone.
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    Apr 05, 2012 12:56 AM GMT
    johnny9027 saidI heard ppl said that to me two years ago when I first went to a gay bar. I felt deeply hurt at the moment. While dating my boyfriend, he once said that he is not sexually attracted to black guys, which makes me feel kinda uncomfortable as well.

    I knew this is basically the first reason why you wanna be with someone and sleep with someone, just like all gay guys are not sexually attracted to girls.

    However I just found it somewhat offensive but true. Maybe truth always hurts and there's nothing to complain about. It's just my two cents. icon_sad.gif


    I am not sexually attracted to whiners.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Apr 05, 2012 12:58 AM GMT
    bluey2223 saidGet over it. It's good that everyone is not attracted to everyone.


    No way! That would be awesome.
    And as someone who's attracted to diverse persons I can say that it definitely helps when arranging orgies. icon_smile.gif

    To OP: I'm not really sure what you're asking. If you're talking race: yeah, a lot of people have a subtle racism. Most of it's just familiarity with certain ideas images and they don't feel like expanding their attractions. More generally though there are lots of people who aren't attracted to each one of us. Don't worry about it. There are plenty who are. Most of the world is covered in ocean, there's still plenty of land. ;)
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 05, 2012 12:58 AM GMT
    I'm not sexually attracted to fats...but they still end up finding love. Everyone does if you put effort into it.
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    Apr 05, 2012 1:00 AM GMT
    well alot of guys are not attracted to me because im slim and not built icon_sad.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Apr 05, 2012 1:04 AM GMT
    People need to understand that sometimes what they are saying is offensive, and that there are times to be offensive, but for the most part you need to think about who your audience is before saying it.

    He probably should have recognized that race is still a sensitive subject in the Western countries.
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    Apr 05, 2012 1:13 AM GMT
    DCEric saidPeople need to understand that sometimes what they are saying is offensive, and that there are times to be offensive, but for the most part you need to think about who your audience is before saying it.
    He probably should have recognized that race is still a sensitive subject in the Western countries.


    THIS.
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    Apr 05, 2012 1:25 AM GMT
    DCEric saidPeople need to understand that sometimes what they are saying is offensive, and that there are times to be offensive, but for the most part you need to think about who your audience is before saying it.

    He probably should have recognized that race is still a sensitive subject in the Western countries.

    its best to be honest.
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    Apr 05, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    bluey2223 saidGet over it. It's good that everyone is not attracted to everyone.

    This
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    Apr 05, 2012 1:31 AM GMT
    You are just a product of a hypersensitive generation. You (not you personally - your generation and more than likely your parents' as well) go out of your way to look for the offensive, the racist, the sexist, the any-ist in everything around them. It must be exhausting.

    Lighten up. Enjoy life. Stop over analyzing everything.
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    Apr 05, 2012 1:40 AM GMT
    RuggedRanger15 said
    DCEric saidPeople need to understand that sometimes what they are saying is offensive, and that there are times to be offensive, but for the most part you need to think about who your audience is before saying it.

    He probably should have recognized that race is still a sensitive subject in the Western countries.

    its best to be honest.


    There's a thing called... tact. Tact is different than being politically correct. Tact is about respect. You're respectful in how you deliver your rejection because you realize that you are talking to a live person, not a tree. You can say, "Sorry man, I'm not interested." That would be honest and tactful. You don't need to go into the perception you have or the label you've ascribed that made you not choose them.
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    Apr 05, 2012 1:47 AM GMT
    I'm not attracted to the guy I dumped earlier this week... that's why I had sex in my office last night with someone else.

    I didn't dump him because I wasn't attracted to him... I became sexually disinterested in him because he was lazy and boring.

    ...apparently I'm not attracted to lazy and boring... I'm ok with that.
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    Apr 05, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    I learned sexual attraction is almost an involuntary response that's governed by neurotrophins and testosterone. With that said, if people confine themselves with certain biases, they actually override their attraction by casting the person under an overwhelming bright light of scrutiny.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Apr 05, 2012 1:53 AM GMT
    physax saidI learned sexual attraction is almost an involuntary response that's governed by neurotrophins and testosterone. With that said, if people confine themselves with certain biases, they actually override their attraction by casting the person under an overwhelming bright light of scrutiny.

    No, on so many levels.
    Putting aside what I assume is a confusion of neurotrophins for neurotransmitters your brain does not explain away your psychology. Those chemicals in your head are you, and you have as much control over them as you do any of your thoughts (which, hey, isn't perfect, but is substantial).
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    Apr 05, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    johnny9027 saidI heard ppl said that to me two years ago when I first went to a gay bar. I felt deeply hurt at the moment. While dating my boyfriend, he once said that he is not sexually attracted to black guys, which makes me feel kinda uncomfortable as well.

    I knew this is basically the first reason why you wanna be with someone and sleep with someone, just like all gay guys are not sexually attracted to girls.

    However I just found it somewhat offensive but true. Maybe truth always hurts and there's nothing to complain about. It's just my two cents. icon_sad.gif

    It depends. If a guy told me that I'm not attractive that would be a little offensive to me, but if a black guy told me that he's not attracted to white guys I wouldn't be offended.
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    Apr 05, 2012 2:33 AM GMT
    neosyllogy said
    physax saidI learned sexual attraction is almost an involuntary response that's governed by neurotrophins and testosterone. With that said, if people confine themselves with certain biases, they actually override their attraction by casting the person under an overwhelming bright light of scrutiny.

    No, on so many levels.
    Putting aside what I assume is a confusion of neurotrophins for neurotransmitters your brain does not explain away your psychology. Those chemicals in your head are you, and you have as much control over them as you do any of your thoughts (which, hey, isn't perfect, but is substantial).


    Instead of burdening everyone and derailing the post's topic I'll just message you in response haha
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    Apr 05, 2012 2:37 AM GMT
    Maybe I should get a skin transplant to attract more men!!
  • johnny9027

    Posts: 90

    Apr 05, 2012 3:10 AM GMT
    DCEric saidPeople need to understand that sometimes what they are saying is offensive, and that there are times to be offensive, but for the most part you need to think about who your audience is before saying it.

    He probably should have recognized that race is still a sensitive subject in the Western countries.


    to me, I actually don't care about race and related things, cuz I am proud of my race and I have enough confidence of my look. What I find it really disturbing is that, as a human being, the fact that you make judgement only through appearance of the object is kinda self-degrading. However, sexuality is mostly based on appearance. It's sad but true.
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    Apr 05, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    I think this topic has jumped the shark.

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    Apr 05, 2012 3:20 AM GMT
    Libidos can be heavily influenced by environment -- I've long contended that many a gay man's future same-sex preferences are formed during childhood and based on not just immediate surroundings, but the media he consumes -- and so the end result is that some men are highly type-specific while others are more prone to dabble.

    There's nothing inherently cruel or vicious about that.
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    Apr 05, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    Elusium saidLibidos can be heavily influenced by environment -- I've long contended that many a gay man's future same-sex preferences are formed during childhood and based on not just immediate surroundings, but the media he consumes -- and so the end result is that some men are highly type-specific while others are more prone to dabble.

    There's nothing inherently cruel or vicious about that.


    Funny, while I agree that peoples preference isn't cruel or vicious it's simply what they like. I disagree with what you said above because I don't fall into what you "contended" for so long ;)
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Apr 05, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidYou are just a product of a hypersensitive generation. You (not you personally - your generation and more than likely your parents' as well) go out of your way to look for the offensive, the racist, the sexist, the any-ist in everything around them. It must be exhausting.

    Lighten up. Enjoy life. Stop over analyzing everything.




    GOT TO AGREE WITH THIS ONE +1
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    Apr 05, 2012 3:37 AM GMT
    I'd say "deal with it" more so than "get over it"...
    Part of being black is knowing from childhood, and always being conscious of the fact, that people of other races are more than likely NOT going to find you attractive based on the color of your skin.

    And to the OP: Simply being "not sexually attracted" to black guys is NOT offensive... Though I must say that there's a thin line between being honest and being an asshole.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 05, 2012 3:43 AM GMT
    kevin9988 saidwell alot of guys are not attracted to me because im slim and not built icon_sad.gif

    Shaddup you hottie ;)