difficulty

  • turbojesus

    Posts: 10

    Apr 05, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    I can't seem to get off 90% of the time when I'm with a guy. icon_redface.gif

    I usually can get off by myself.

    Something feels mechanical about fooling around to me. I feel strange. And like I need to think a lot about what I'm doing. I worry if I'm doing enough to pleasure my partner, I worry if I'm being too still and lazy, I worry that something bad is going to happen. icon_confused.gif

    I think I've grown to dislike having to have sex. icon_rolleyes.gif

    I admit that I've been a tease, but when it comes to getting naked and busy with a guy...... I don't do well.

    I'm tired of it. icon_mad.gif
    I feel like a failure as a gay man. Like a castrated horse. Or a eunuch. Or a cripple. icon_eek.gif

    Maybe I'm not comfortable with myself? With being intimate with another man? With having homosexual relations in general? I don't know. I'm trying to be okay with it. icon_question.gif

    I can sometimes do better when I look at the sexual experience from a third-person perspective... like, as if I were watching my own porn. That makes me horny. But, just me and another guy? Why can't I enjoy it?????

    Any advice? Any insight? Anyone else had this problem?

    I am so confused, and frustrated, and feeling very insecure.

    Thanks.
  • McMacster

    Posts: 94

    Apr 05, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    1st: Get some Selfconfidence
    2nd: Get some Dignity
    3rd: Stop reducing Gay relationships just to sex

    sex is not everything in life, especially in gay life. most of the people do, but you know what, if you find someone who is not just using you as a fuck tool, you might have a wonderful time
  • turbojesus

    Posts: 10

    Apr 05, 2012 2:09 AM GMT
    McMacster said1st: Get some Selfconfidence
    2nd: Get some Dignity
    3rd:


    dignity?

    I'm asking for help, anonymously, not for some dickhead to try to be funny.

    EDIT----
    Some of your message didn't come through the first time.
    Guys are not just "fuck tools" to me. I have done stuff like that before, hooking up just to get off and enjoy myself, but even with guys I've dated, I still have trouble.
  • turbojesus

    Posts: 10

    Apr 05, 2012 2:35 AM GMT
    I ask this because there's a guy I'm interested in. We've been on a few dates, fooled around twice, and I worry that this is going to be a liability and that it's going to be a deal breaker. I dont' know what my problem is.
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    Apr 05, 2012 3:46 AM GMT
    TROLL icon_twisted.gif
  • turbojesus

    Posts: 10

    Apr 05, 2012 3:56 AM GMT
    Jewlicious saidTROLL icon_twisted.gif


    no. i'm not.

    i legitimately want help, or someone to talk to about this.

    thanks for nothing.

    i'll go somewhere else.

  • Apr 16, 2012 7:09 AM GMT
    if this post is for real, sounds like u suffer from depression or anxiety disorder. stop trying to have sex and see a therapist.
  • turbojesus

    Posts: 10

    Apr 22, 2012 4:55 PM GMT
    Hot_in_the_Kitchen saidif this post is for real, sounds like u suffer from depression or anxiety disorder. stop trying to have sex and see a therapist.


    I am seeing a therapist. I have bad body image and eating problems, and this whole thing has been ... confusing and hard. I don't understand how some people are just okay with themselves being gay. It's been a big struggle for me to come to terms with it, and it feels like there's not enough answers out there for all the questions I have.

    I'm taking anti-depression medication and a sleeping pill to help me sleep... I like, never sleep.
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    Apr 22, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    i usually don't get off with a guy until I'm really comfortable with the friendship... then i can't stop!!! LLOL.