What is up with these gays in my area , need advice.

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    Apr 05, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    I have been at my current location for about 3 years, on and off for traveling . I have met a couple of gay guys that seemed to be cool and became friends. Background of Richmond , VA - guys seem uptight , cocky and self involved . It is hard being the new guy and most guys here don't really give off a "gay" vibe . Now , my question is how do you find out who is gay and who isn't if you were at a gym or just out. Main thing is at my gym , I get looked at , some you will catch staring while you are lifting . Do all men do that - size others up or see what others are doing or would you think they are gay ?????? I never was good at figuring out who is gay unless the signs were pretty extreme ( fem, at a gay club/bar ).
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Apr 05, 2012 10:13 PM GMT
    If only someone had a similar experience in the past that you could use for reference....
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    Apr 05, 2012 10:15 PM GMT
    Just broach the topic with a bit of tact. Ask if you play for the same team. Most straight guys aren't going to flip out about it.
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    Apr 06, 2012 5:08 AM GMT
    That sounded more like a made up story . Sounds a lil off . Besides , wasn't part of my topic to have it be a porn in the gym showers . Was asking how do you tell if someone is GAY . Completely different situation .
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    Apr 06, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    KCBjr1979 saidThat sounded more like a made up story . Sounds a lil off . Besides , wasn't part of my topic to have it be a porn in the gym showers . Was asking how do you tell if someone is GAY . Completely different situation .


    Or a fantasy someone wished he had , shit like that just doesnt happen lol.
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    Apr 06, 2012 5:17 AM GMT
    In before YCYL.
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    Apr 06, 2012 10:20 AM GMT
    KCBjr1979 saidI have been at my current location for about 3 years, on and off for traveling . I have met a couple of gay guys that seemed to be cool and became friends. Background of Richmond , VA - guys seem uptight , cocky and self involved . It is hard being the new guy and most guys here don't really give off a "gay" vibe . Now , my question is how do you find out who is gay and who isn't if you were at a gym or just out. Main thing is at my gym , I get looked at , some you will catch staring while you are lifting . Do all men do that - size others up or see what others are doing or would you think they are gay ?????? I never was good at figuring out who is gay unless the signs were pretty extreme ( fem, at a gay club/bar ).


    I'll weigh in here because I grew up in Va Beach - Richmond.. so I feel you. Its super hard to know who's gay around you because everyone is so conformist or just afraid to be gay.

    Richmond has some gay bars, but maybe I"m bias because I think the men in NYC are 100x hotter icon_razz.gif

    Humans learn by looking at other people. The gym is a really good example of that. They might not be gay, maybe just seeing what you are doing. Especially if they think you are doing something new or just wrong.

    My advice is stay away from the cocky and uptight homos. I see them all the time struting down the street with giant sunglasses, a man bag, and a scarf when its 75 degrees outside. It's so obvious their super insecure that I have to laugh sometimes. The VA variant of that is just what you described...
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    Apr 06, 2012 4:03 PM GMT
    KCBjr1979 said Now , my question is how do you find out who is gay and who isn't if you were at a gym or just out.
    Just start using the term "gurll".. and wave your hands around while do so..
    Works EVERY time!icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 13, 2012 4:18 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said
    KCBjr1979 saidI have been at my current location for about 3 years, on and off for traveling . I have met a couple of gay guys that seemed to be cool and became friends. Background of Richmond , VA - guys seem uptight , cocky and self involved . It is hard being the new guy and most guys here don't really give off a "gay" vibe . Now , my question is how do you find out who is gay and who isn't if you were at a gym or just out. Main thing is at my gym , I get looked at , some you will catch staring while you are lifting . Do all men do that - size others up or see what others are doing or would you think they are gay ?????? I never was good at figuring out who is gay unless the signs were pretty extreme ( fem, at a gay club/bar ).

    Not clear if you're looking for friends or boyfriends...?
    One way of hooking into the community and meeting some nice people is to go volunteer over at Diversity Thrift, the LGBT thrift shop run by my old friend Jon Klein, who is a great guy (I haven't seen him in a few years but he used to be crazy cute, too). It's a good way not just to meet the other staffers, but most of Richmond's gay community winds up visiting the store at some point or other.


    Looking for friends . I will look into that , thanks icon_smile.gif
  • Brack202

    Posts: 19

    Apr 14, 2012 2:01 AM GMT
    In the gym locker room, you can kind of tell if a guy is just remaining naked for longer than necessary or is staring at you while you're naked. I'd suggest just getting naked and acting casual and seeing how he reacts to you. I should warn you that I've never gotten with a guy in the locker room myself, though I have no qualms about being naked there and I'm pretty sure I've been showering and showing off next to other gay guys before.
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    Apr 14, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    I find it 5 times easier to connect with men outside of the USA. Give it a try and perhaps you'll move elsewhere
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    Apr 14, 2012 7:23 PM GMT
    Aggieboy saidI find it 5 times easier to connect with men outside of the USA. Give it a try and perhaps you'll move elsewhere


    Exactly...although I don't know myself, I have heard from others it to be the case. There's so much more to see beyond these 4 corners. I always hear people talk about moving to the next best state, but rarely anyone talking about moving overseas.

    I just wish that with immigration and terrorism and all that, it wasn't so difficult. The rest of the world just isn't easily accessible to the average person in their 20s unless they are either a citizen/native there or have roots in that country.