Will You ever Find YOUR Other Half ?

  • kole30306

    Posts: 20

    Jul 14, 2008 4:04 PM GMT
    Geeze just the idea of asking, "Have you been in love"? Almost sounds like a guy is asking. "Who's your daddy?"..lol

    I don't really find myself all that picky - just seems like every time i connect with a guy, on the net, he lives like 3,000 miles away and if there is a visit it seems like an Act of Congress or the discovery of a new Element of Science just to make a "face to face" happen.

    What gives? Am i patient? Hell yea.. i have given this almost 2 years now. Long distance Sux!

    You know? It is almost hard to believe that i cannot connect with someone within 50 miles, at least, lol.

    I have tried bars, hate the smoke and the ass pinchin.

    I don't really care if the guy is in Alaska or any distance, as long as he would meet me half way. Perhaps i am too picky. I do set the boundary at connection. There has to be a connection on several levels.

    Any insight here?
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    Jul 14, 2008 4:32 PM GMT
    I've been asking this question even longer icon_wink.gif

    Too many guys (I find) belong to tight to their Click (you have to pledge to be a member). Or the guy wants you to make all the "moves" or simply seem to be afraid that they'll miss out on the next best thing if they date you... Or miss out on all the fun at the clubs with their friends!!! icon_eek.gif

    To me , the whole point is the "dating" --> getting to know you, see where it leads. Most guys seem to think if you want a second date then "oh, you must be really HOT for me and I'm not ready for that."

    I guess it boils down to the fact that we have balls, but not enough to use them to take a leap, then combine that with the inability to communicate or see where a date(s) lead that most guys are just in "flee" mode (or just want to get laid and move on).

    Plus too many of us are way too picky - girls are supposed to be looking for the prince on the white horse, not guys, lol. Find a guy you are attracted (physically and with substance: mentaly, emotionally) to and quit chasing just the hot bod!

    Damn... it's high up, up here on this soapbox icon_biggrin.gif
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Jul 14, 2008 6:18 PM GMT
    Well, to answer the question in the title...who says I'm only half?

    I hope to meet and spend my life with the right guy, white picket fence in the suburbs and all of that. And, yes, there are times when being single can suck. But, I've never been comfortable with the idea of an other half/better half/etc. There's a connotation there that you're not complete unless you're in a relationship. I don't like the implication that I'm only half, or that I can't be fulfilled being me, but only as part of a we.

    Then again, I also think that if soul mates are real, that's damn depressing. Over 6 billion people on the planet, and exactly 1 of them is right for you. Maybe you'll never meet them. Maybe you met them on a day when you were in a really bad mood and they were put off by that. Or you'll meet him when you're already dating someone else and therefore not looking. Maybe you will find true love, but not until the day before you die. I don't find that an uplifting thought at all. Much better to think that there are people out there who are better matches for you than others, but that you'll meet enough in both camps to a) be aware of the differences and b) not be stuck if you're not ridiculously lucky enough to meet the 1 right person at exactly the right moment.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19119

    Jul 14, 2008 6:26 PM GMT
    Thankfully, I passed the point of feeling like I needed someone to complete me long ago. Unlike some of my dearest friends who, God forbid, would be single for 5 minutes, I'm actually okay with being single. That's not to say that I wouldn't relish "Mr. Wonderful" crossing my path, and I'm certainly open to that happening, but I'm not holding my breath. In the meantime, I just put such things in God's hands and enjoy my life and my friends.
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    Jul 14, 2008 7:08 PM GMT
    My biggest fear in ending a relationship where I've not been able to feel love is that it will be this long time before I find it. Now you guys are scaring me! LOL I guess it means starting by figuring out what it is that is most important to you (IE: looks, physique, demeanor, emotions).

    I'm not sure I'd be able to build a long distance relationship, I think I need someone close by. Someone that can be seen, touched, smelled, tasted and loved on a very regular basis. Maybe I'm living in a fantasy world! icon_cry.gif
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    Jul 14, 2008 7:11 PM GMT
    Would be nice to find.......but I'm not missing any of my "halves"..........feel complete enough now....not settled, but happy.
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    Jul 14, 2008 7:20 PM GMT
    At one point I honestly thought that the best I or anyone could do was settle. I was dating a guy who was super hot by anyone's standards, had simliar interests, good job, everything....but I wasn't feeling it. Luckily we broke up and I remember thinking I'd much rather be alone than be with someone who wasn't meant for me. A few months later in July 2004 I met my partner 3,500 miles from where I lived (and in another country!!) in an incredibly fateful tale. I saw him in a coffee shop, thought I should say hello because of the way he was staring (!), but chose to leave without saying hello. Hours later at a party of about 3,500 people, I literally almost ran into him. I didn't let fate smile twice without saying hello, so asked him to dance with me. We've been together ever since, and today marks 1 year since our civil partnership ceremony. I never gave up on finding him and I didn't close my heart despite it being a long, long road. Don't give up, babe. It happens. Magic between people does happen just like the movies. And it's so worth the wait. Not fun waiting, but worth it nonetheless.

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    Jul 14, 2008 7:27 PM GMT
    MSUBioNerd saidWell, to answer the question in the title...who says I'm only half?


    Agreed... I am whole by myself.
    Having a partner only adds more to the whole.
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    Jul 14, 2008 7:29 PM GMT
    Magic between people does happen just like the movies. And it's so worth the wait. Not fun waiting, but worth it nonetheless.

    [/quote]

    I'm a BIG fan of MAGIC.......between people, places....everything. Magic happens a lot....

    You wrote a great post.
  • VinBaltimore

    Posts: 239

    Jul 14, 2008 7:47 PM GMT
    It's the biggest cliche in the world, but it really does just kind of happen one day when you're not expecting it. I met my partner on a blind date six years ago. I went as a favor to a friend and if you would have told me then that he was gonna be "the one" I would have thought you were crazy.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Jul 14, 2008 7:58 PM GMT
    this heart closed a while ago. I'm happy in my castle of ice - I would never ask my partner to play second fiddle to my career but I'm motivated and financially dedicated at this point - ask me again when I'm 30 and it may be a different tune, but right now I couldn't care less if I ever dated again.
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    Jul 14, 2008 8:46 PM GMT
    Hmmmm? Bottom Half or Top Half?

    Actually, I'd like someone who will add to my life as there isn't a 'hole that needs to be filled'.

    If your not happy by yourself, then your looking for someone to share your misery. ...and that IS what you will find.

    If you are happy with yourself and by yourself, you're more likely to meet someone who is also in a good place.

    1/2 + 1/2 = 1 (this is the codependent relationship.

    1 + 1 = 2 (this is the fulfilled relationship)



    The Oracle has spoken.
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    Jul 14, 2008 8:57 PM GMT
    I was wondering too...

    126152_214811.jpg

    Where's my other half?! icon_confused.gif
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Jul 14, 2008 9:05 PM GMT
    I found it!
    Photobucket
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    Jul 14, 2008 9:07 PM GMT
    sedativesOtherHalf.jpg126152_214811.jpg
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Jul 14, 2008 9:09 PM GMT
    HAHAHA
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    Jul 14, 2008 9:11 PM GMT
    ROFLMAO

    ALIENZ! icon_surprised.gif

    Now I am whole... I may begin Global Domination! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2008 9:25 PM GMT
    eh, the more important question to me is do I really want too?

    Like bgcat57 said, a partner isn't add making anything whole, its about adding to.

    Right now though, gawd I hope not I just wanna live for me, do what I want too do and stop thinking about an US.
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    Jul 14, 2008 9:29 PM GMT
    I've dated around. Dated guys who were all very different and I still haven't found my match.

    It'd be great to find him but i'm not too bothered by it. I don't need another guy to make me feel complete.

    I like my life right now where I can come and go as I please. I'm free to meet people and that to me is way better than being closed off in some dead end relationship just for the sake of not being single. When I find the guy I think i'll know but for me to change my daily routine for someone, i've got to be pretty head over heels. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 14, 2008 9:35 PM GMT
    Well I would not say my partner is my other half, but I am definitely happier being with him then otherwise. I guess I would compare him to a piece form a jigsaw puzzle that complements me well. We are similar in some ways, but different in others.

    And for those people that commented they are not looking right now, that is understandble under 30, but usually there comes a point in life where having a partner is a definite plus. Friends can only do so much, and frankly having only yourself as company can get pretty tiresome after awhile.
  • kinetic

    Posts: 1125

    Jul 14, 2008 9:41 PM GMT
    The Missing Piece meets the Big O
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    Jul 14, 2008 9:51 PM GMT
    I definitely agree with the 1+1=2 relationship equation. Two whole people have a much better chance of making it than two who "complete" each other.

    I know what kole30306 is talking about though. I've been single for two and a half years now and though I don't hate being single, I am definitely ready for someone in my life again. I don't want a repeat of my last relationship (though I learned a lot) so I'm not in any particular rush, but somedays it can get pretty difficult being alone. Especially when you're out with your friends (who all have boyfriends) and you're the big third wheel!

    I have the same problem with meeting men as kole, they are either from out of town and live thousands of miles away, or are unavailable for some other reason. I meet nice guys in LA from time to time but none seem to really click and go anywhere. When I'm on line, the one's I find attractive are across the country or in another country altogether. I certainly don't expect someone to pick up and fly somewhere to meet a total stranger and I'm not in a financial position to travel these days anyway so, that makes it all the more frustrating.

    I've talked about in it in my group therapy and with friends and I do believe it happens when you AREN'T EXPECTING IT but you never really stop looking for it. I mean, if you barricade yourself in your home and never go anywhere, it ain't gonna happen no matter what! Somebody's not going to just come knocking on your door one day and say, "Here I am, the one you've been waiting for!"

    I just take it day by day, stay active with my friends, be friendly and leave it up to the universe to steer me in the right direction and hopefully one day, under the right circumstance....IT'LL HAPPEN!
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    Jul 14, 2008 10:18 PM GMT
    Has anything made people more miserable than the Platonic myth that we are all in search of our missing half? It's amazing that it's endured as an appropriate metaphor for thousands of years.

    The movie "Hedwig" is about coming to grips with the fiction of that belief, which is depicted in one of the songs:



    In the end, the myth is rebuked by Tommy, whom Hedwig has identified as her missing half:



    And they all live happily alone ever after.
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    Jul 14, 2008 10:48 PM GMT
    <3 Hedwig... I wonder how she changed her tattoo though. icon_wink.gif
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    Jul 14, 2008 10:51 PM GMT
    bgcat57 said

    1/2 + 1/2 = 1 (this is the codependent relationship.

    1 + 1 = 2 (this is the fulfilled relationship)

    The Oracle has spoken.


    *bows to the oracle*