Dating a Doctor...turn on or turn off?

  • mdtennisfan

    Posts: 2

    Apr 07, 2012 3:47 AM GMT
    Hey guys!

    So I'm a senior in college, deciding between pursuing a PhD in biology or being a doctor. I really want to go into medicine and have been accepted to med schools, but now I'm getting worried about being able to find someone.

    I know that I'll be rigorously training for the next 8-10 years depending on what type of medicine I want to go into, and afterwards (again depending on what type of medicine I'm in) I will probably be busy with my job. I know that almost all professionals have a certain degree of involvement in their jobs, but doctors in particular get a bad rep in terms of not having enough free time for loved ones (at least from what I've heard).

    So, I guess what I'm asking is if you met a guy who was a doctor with a busy lifestyle would that be something that turned you away? I know I can't base my life choices on what guys would think of my career, but I also want to make sure I'm not throwing away romantic possibilities in the future by being a doctor.

    Thanks for reading and any and all advice/opinions/suggestions are welcome!
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    Apr 07, 2012 4:13 AM GMT
    I work in aviation, which also demanding in terms of travel and seldom spend time at home (just booked a plane ticket a few minutes ago for yet another trip).

    Fortunately, this trip is to go see my boyfriend.

    So yeah, if you stick it out long enough, someone will eventually date you even if your career is nomadic.
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    Apr 07, 2012 4:18 AM GMT
    Go for it! Definitely a turn ON. It shows that you have the potential of having a stable career in the future, are responsible and can take good care of your guy. You're heading in the right direction.
    So for now, my advice to you would be that you focus on getting that PhD and worry about the dating bit later. Things should sort themselves out eventually, as long as you stay focus not let your job get in the way of your personal life too much.

    Cheers (:
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    Apr 07, 2012 4:24 AM GMT
    turn on x100000000
  • mdtennisfan

    Posts: 2

    Apr 07, 2012 4:44 AM GMT
    Oh thanks a lot for the fast responses, guys!

    I'm happy to hear you are all pushing me towards it - it really makes me feel better icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 07, 2012 2:27 PM GMT
    Turn on ! They make shitloads of money icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 07, 2012 2:32 PM GMT
    mdtennisfan saidHey guys!

    So I'm a senior in college, deciding between pursuing a PhD in biology or being a doctor. I really want to go into medicine and have been accepted to med schools, but now I'm getting worried about being able to find someone.

    I know that I'll be rigorously training for the next 8-10 years depending on what type of medicine I want to go into, and afterwards (again depending on what type of medicine I'm in) I will probably be busy with my job. I know that almost all professionals have a certain degree of involvement in their jobs, but doctors in particular get a bad rep in terms of not having enough free time for loved ones (at least from what I've heard).

    So, I guess what I'm asking is if you met a guy who was a doctor with a busy lifestyle would that be something that turned you away? I know I can't base my life choices on what guys would think of my career, but I also want to make sure I'm not throwing away romantic possibilities in the future by being a doctor.

    Thanks for reading and any and all advice/opinions/suggestions are welcome!


    I dated a doctor many moons ago, and agree that there are a lot of constraints on their time, and also a lot of unexpected long days which can put a lot of pressure on a relationship - its all about quality instead of quantity..

    Many evenings were spent with me just listening to him talk about his day, giving him a shoulder rub and cuddling after making sure he ate.

    Random days I could be nearby I bought sandwiches and waited in the hospital grounds for him to show (or not) and have lunch..

    It can be frustrating, but ultimately I'm sure its worth it - I'd still be with my doctor if he hadn't moved interstate for a better position in a bigger hospital.
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    Apr 08, 2012 4:07 AM GMT
    Make sure you're staying in shape while you work toward M.D.

    Hot is hot. Not is not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2012 4:09 AM GMT
    Only if he "plays doctor' at home!icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
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    Apr 08, 2012 4:16 AM GMT
    You are never throwing away any romantic opportunities because of your job. As long as you know how to make time and spend it wisely with whoever you find and as long as they understand your situation then there shouldn't be a problem. Would I date a doctor? Yes. I get what they have to do and understand that they're jobs are very demanding. Comes with the territory.

    Time management and priorities is what it all boils down to.
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    Apr 08, 2012 4:24 AM GMT
    Pff yeah
  • Dominican_Gen...

    Posts: 379

    Apr 08, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    Depends on YOUR time management skills. I tried dating a couple of medical students and didn't work out. Relationship wise I am not a low maintenance guy ...
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    Apr 08, 2012 5:01 AM GMT
    icon_biggrin.gif I dated a guy who was already a doctor and had a totally different schedule when compared to mine. He was on the board at the hospital, also into cycle racing on a traveling team limited to the warmer times of the year and weekends only. He had family in a few other countries that he visited yearly. But he was the most sensitive, sweet and caring man I ever knew.
    What I am trying to say here is, don't let your career goals bring down your love life. While I am sure it is tuff to go to school for 8-10 years as planned, you might catch on quicker and finish sooner than that time period. I know someone who completed their PhD in 3 years. So I know it is possible!!!

    Everyone is different and sometimes personalities mesh when you least expect it. If you meet someone and it gets serious, Just lay out the ground rules for your school/work times and if he is flexible and understanding, that will be the first trait you must look for in the guy you choose to be in your life, he will make compromises to support you in that way. Maybe, just maybe you will meet someone who is in your school or hospital?? You never know, right? Go out and be the best at what you do or want to train for, and you will most likely attract people towards you. I wish you the best while you are training and studying. Life if too short, don't deny yourself love if it knocks on your door.
    Unfortunately, my relationship ended after a year due to a long distance issue: Vancouver-Atlanta. But it was wonderful while it lasted.

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    Apr 08, 2012 5:08 AM GMT
    ^^This.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Apr 08, 2012 5:22 AM GMT
    why do so many people waste time with detailed comments on obvious sock account posts...
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    Apr 08, 2012 5:28 AM GMT
    It's all about what you really want to do. Don't let our opinions persuade you unless you're heart is so split that you absolutely NEED to flip a coin in order to figure out the rest of your life.
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    Apr 08, 2012 5:35 AM GMT
    What kind of genius reconsiders a career in Medicine cause how it effects his outcome of getting laid? Is that you Gregory House?
    Seriously though, first pursue a career you honestly love regardless of anyone else. Secondly, date and commit to a guy who loves you for your and all aspects of who you are. That means if you're a Barista, Pornstar, or Doctor; he'll stand by YOU, and your money and career will be yours and only things he will love and understand cause he loves you that much. <3icon_idea.gif<3
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    Apr 08, 2012 5:36 AM GMT
    To answer your question as a medical student... yeah, I would date a doctor, obviously...
  • austex85

    Posts: 572

    Apr 08, 2012 5:38 AM GMT
    definitely would date a doctor (probably even prefer one). we'd be such a power couple! lol
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    Apr 08, 2012 5:53 AM GMT
    It sounds glamourous, but its not.

    Which is why when I'm cutting people open next year, I guess this is just a sacrifice I'll have to make.

  • Apr 08, 2012 6:17 AM GMT
    Of course your relationship will suffer because your patients entrust you with their lives, and won't expect your dating/relationship schedule will be in the way.

    You just have to find an understanding partner if you pick medicine. If you lack the drive/conviction, please do something else.
  • Brugmansia83

    Posts: 14

    Apr 08, 2012 7:03 AM GMT
    Doctor or not. The important thing is to know what you want and go after it. Having dated a doctor and long distance(a seemingly double whammy) he was probably one of the best things that could have happened to me. Tho time the amount of time spent together was short, each visit was cherished. Ultimately it comes down to making time, being available and not just saying "I love/like/enjoy you". Tho luck/love wasn't on our side, I wouldnt hesitate to do it again.

    Make your own decision and screw what everyone else thinks or will think.
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    Apr 08, 2012 8:21 AM GMT
    I work with medical students, residents and attendings. I occasionally fight with them about this and in defense of the matching process there have been some changes to make being a "couple" in med school easier.

    In general dating a medical student is very very very difficult if you are not also a medical student. You will find it hard to understand how they can believe that their medical education is more important than life itself. They will have little time for you and at some points maybe none. They lead very stressful lives oscillating from periods of intense study to short periods of almost no responsibility. I personally would NOT date a medical student and I have even had trouble with people who are pre-med in this area (damn you MCAT).

    I think what you are asking about is the end process, finishing medical school and residency and being an attending physician. Here it depends largely on the persons personality and to what degree they continue to embody the medicine is more important than life philosophy. Some will come to understand that having a life is highly conducive to avoiding burn out and will pick their specialty accordingly.

    Most doctors have to take call, its just an unpleasant part of life. This means that one some days, they could get called in to consult for their specialty and may even have to spend their call days at the hospital. I feel like this would be an easier thing to handle because you know when it could happen. It does make planning things difficult and you have to be understanding that going out to dinner, movies or any kind of timed event is risky. If they get called, they have to go in. If they don't answer, then there are people like me in the ER cussing their existence and tracking down a cell phone number to further harass them icon_razz.gif

    Don't marry them for the money. Unless they are 40+. When you graduate from residency you have massive loans to pay off, and that takes about 10 years. Then, suddenly you are propelled to the next tax bracket and have to deal with that. Usually around age 40 you get your shit straight and by that point have decided if you you're going to have a life, or just live alone with your cats.

    The bottom line is you you should strongly consider their specialty and more importantly their approach to medicine. Imo, you can be a fantastic doctor by bringing balance to your life and still being able to say you have one.
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Apr 08, 2012 8:51 AM GMT
    WhoreMasterBlaster saidFrom my personal experience I would more than likely not.

    A large portion of them are way too left-brain for me, closet Republicans, closet homosexuals. The interesting part to all of this is that so many of them develop an over-inflated sense of worth yet they're too afraid to be open about their political views or their sexuality.

    Since they tend to perpetuate a false image, they tend to be sneaky and very good at hiding themselves. That simply doesn't work for me.


    thank god you said it. i was thinking the exact same thing. i have a good friend who was in a similar situation that you described. he always felt put down because he was more open about who he was. his 'doctor' boyfriend was a complete ass, as he always felt he was far above everyone. and you are spot on about his politics. he's just a nut job all the way around.

    now, to the OP. you are 21. why set yourself in a box at such a young age. concentrate on your career goals, don't be an ass, get to know people around you and live your life. there is NOTHING wrong with not being a couple. if you cannot stand yourself, then why bring another human being into the mix.
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    Apr 08, 2012 10:33 AM GMT
    mdtennisfan saidHey guys!

    So I'm a senior in college, deciding between pursuing a PhD in biology or being a doctor. I really want to go into medicine and have been accepted to med schools, but now I'm getting worried about being able to find someone.

    I know that I'll be rigorously training for the next 8-10 years depending on what type of medicine I want to go into, and afterwards (again depending on what type of medicine I'm in) I will probably be busy with my job. I know that almost all professionals have a certain degree of involvement in their jobs, but doctors in particular get a bad rep in terms of not having enough free time for loved ones (at least from what I've heard).

    So, I guess what I'm asking is if you met a guy who was a doctor with a busy lifestyle would that be something that turned you away? I know I can't base my life choices on what guys would think of my career, but I also want to make sure I'm not throwing away romantic possibilities in the future by being a doctor.

    Thanks for reading and any and all advice/opinions/suggestions are welcome!


    icon_rolleyes.gif Go to nursing school.