QUOTE
Apr 09, 2012 2:41 PM GMT
calibro saidwhy do so many people waste time with detailed comments on obvious sock account posts...
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FORUMS > Dating & Relationships Forum Rules
Dating a Doctor...turn on or turn off?
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Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Apr 09, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
bryanc_74 said
Velociraptor saidDepends on your speciality.
There isn't much $ in medicine anymore, with how the laws are changing and malpractice insurance premiums; depending on your speciality.
My advice, if you want a great work-life balance and not be on call, specialize in a money making field where the premiums are low like dermatology (derm is harder than you think tho) or endocrinology. You'll never be on call!
That has got to be the most brutal advice I've ever read.
For the sacrifice you have to go through to become a physician, choosing your specialty based on pay and call is quite possibly the dumbest criteria. That's like choosing to be a bottom based on the criteria that you have the option to just lie there.
Oh whatever. So then how DOES one choose a speciality? Is it pure passion alone? I just want to know where the bar is set for choosing a speciality, because for many, maybe it is passion for a particular field. For others, maybe it's to do with earning potential and benefits. That IS still relevant criteria for career choice, right? Hours too? Are you saying certain specialities have no value?
And your little analogy is very cute, but remember, loose associations are often a symptom of psychosis! At best, it is a stretch of a comparison. -
Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Apr 09, 2012 3:21 PM GMTDating a Doctor...turn on or turn off?
The real issue is the time available to the relationship, not the profession per se. There are other jobs that can be just as demanding of time as a doctor, or maybe the guy has a workaholic personality, regardless of what he does. I've even known guys who have a normal work schedule, but consume themselves after work with some hobby or other outside pursuits.
So you date the guy and see how it goes, doctor or no. Either he can give you the time you want, or he can't, due to whatever cause. And if it's YOU who becomes the doctor, or enter some other intense field, keep this issue in mind and budget your time as best you can, deliberately seeking "quality time" with your guy as much as possible. I've known plenty of straight married doctors who appeared to please their wives, as well as their kids, which takes yet more personal time, so I don't think it's impossible. -
Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Apr 09, 2012 3:57 PM GMTDating a doctor shouldn't be turn off. A lot of guys think that we are too focussed on our career. The truth behind it actually depends on the individual. I have dedicated time for work and study but the moment I step out of the portals of the hospital, I'm a normal guy just like anyone else. I don't bring my work at home because those are two different aspects of my life. I have dedicated time for work out at least 5 - 6 times/week, a dedicated time for tennis and my music playing the piano, organ, guitar and voice. It's a matter of TIME MANAGEMENT. I failed to mention about RELATIONSHIP. I've been single for almost 3 years now after an 8 year relationship....it's a choice. I haven't found the guy as of yet who is willing to journey with me in life....a guy with substance who imbibes the deepest meaning of partnership. Just like any other profession, the key is BALANCE and setting of priorities.
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Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Apr 15, 2012 11:22 AM GMT
Velociraptor said
bryanc_74 said
Velociraptor saidDepends on your speciality.
There isn't much $ in medicine anymore, with how the laws are changing and malpractice insurance premiums; depending on your speciality.
My advice, if you want a great work-life balance and not be on call, specialize in a money making field where the premiums are low like dermatology (derm is harder than you think tho) or endocrinology. You'll never be on call!
That has got to be the most brutal advice I've ever read.
For the sacrifice you have to go through to become a physician, choosing your specialty based on pay and call is quite possibly the dumbest criteria. That's like choosing to be a bottom based on the criteria that you have the option to just lie there.
Oh whatever. So then how DOES one choose a speciality? Is it pure passion alone? I just want to know where the bar is set for choosing a speciality, because for many, maybe it is passion for a particular field. For others, maybe it's to do with earning potential and benefits. That IS still relevant criteria for career choice, right? Hours too? Are you saying certain specialities have no value?
And your little analogy is very cute, but remember, loose associations are often a symptom of psychosis! At best, it is a stretch of a comparison.
a) I'm a doctor. If I didn't have a psychosis, I wouldn't have gotten here.
b) If we all picked specialties on your recommendations, there wouldn't be any surgeons, or intensivists or emergency room physicians or cardiologists or internists.
There certainly are people who pick their specialty by money and hours. The studies that have followed up on match statistics and satisfaction generally show that money and hours tend to be on the lower side of the criteria scale, though it is rising. It comes down to whether you think you can do something you like/love with the balance you're looking for. I had classmates who picked their specialty based on geographic location: They had a partner who couldn't move, so they decided on which specialties they could enjoy and ranked accordingly. But it does come down to enjoyment. To go through a crapton of work to end up in a specialty you don't enjoy but where you're making a lot of money and have great hours is a plan for misery, and likely also has an impact on your performance. In the end, it seems your specialty picks you, rather than the other way around.
I have no idea how you managed to construe the idea that I insinuated some specialties have no value.
However, the point still stands for the OP: Doing what you love is far more important than partner potential, in my opinion. The guy that requires more attention than you can give just isn't going to fit, whether you're a doctor or not. -
QUOTE Apr 15, 2012 11:26 AM GMTEw
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Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Apr 15, 2012 11:47 AM GMT
mdtennisfan saidHey guys!
So I'm a senior in college, deciding between pursuing a PhD in biology or being a doctor. I really want to go into medicine and have been accepted to med schools, but now I'm getting worried about being able to find someone.
Um.....both options (PhD or MD) are doctors, but i can't believe anyone with enough intelligence to be either a PhD or MD would consider changing the course of their studies/profession based on their likelihood of getting some. You can always count on you to be there for you, but you can't count on men to do the same - if you decide to go a different direction than what you really want to do just to get laid, you'll have to live with that the rest of your life. If you're going to make your higher educational / career decisions on the basis of getting laid, just save yourself a lot of money, drop out of school now and go get a job as a bartender or go-go dancer. -
Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Apr 15, 2012 11:53 AM GMTI like how no one even mentioned that some people become Doctors to help people and that's a very positive quality
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Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Apr 15, 2012 12:08 PM GMT
adam228 saidI like how no one even mentioned that some people become Doctors to help people and that's a very positive quality
That's true - i think the bottom line is that you should pursue something you have a passion for doing and not compromise your passion for the sake if being more marketable. -
Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Apr 15, 2012 2:52 PM GMT
adam228 saidI like how no one even mentioned that some people become Doctors to help people and that's a very positive quality
It's a little rough on the partner when it takes precedence over them--not always, but more often than some would like. -
QUOTE Apr 16, 2012 11:43 AM GMTFirst off someone who has a PhD is a doctor, in whatever field they had studied. Secondly and I am assuming you mean an MD doctor, I know and work with many and all but maybe 2 of them have families and or are married. Both gay and straight alike... Education is a huge turn on, be proud of it and follow what you want to focus on. Relationships are difficult while in school, but afterwards it gets much easier. Yes, many MDs do have crazy schedules, but they find a way to balance their professional and personal life.
You'll find what works for you...COLORED TEXT GOES HERE -
QUOTE Apr 16, 2012 12:53 PM GMTI agree with what many have mentioned, life balance is the most important thing with any profession. I dated a doctor while we were both in our residency and we both made time for each other during our busy schedules. As an attending physician now, I am very busy with work but still make time for my partner of 6 years, and family. In addition, medicine is transforming to some degree. Many doctors consider lifestyle while choosing a specialty. Internists and ER doctors work in shifts now and when they go home, they go home. As a family physician, I take call, but it's mainly phone call giving advice. I rarely need to go into the hospital. Of course during your training, the hours can be grueling, but it's still very rewarding. Make a career choice that will make you most happy in your profession.
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Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Apr 17, 2012 4:37 AM GMTIf the Dr. is hot then yeah
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Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE May 14, 2012 3:32 AM GMTI'd dig it! Wish I could meet a nice, stable, real guy sometime soon!
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QUOTE May 14, 2012 3:39 AM GMTDoctor who?
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QUOTE May 14, 2012 3:39 AM GMTI'm currently dating a surgical resident. To be honest, it's only a turn on because it lays the groundwork for a common interest, but it's hardly due to the romantic Hollywood persona people see them as.
He has said that he a kids the subject, since people do have a lot of inaccurate assumptions about the profession. -
QUOTE May 14, 2012 6:12 AM GMTMy guy just graduated from a top med school and is about to start his residency in another state. He's a wonderful man and wants to make things work for us, even now that we are going to be physically apart. His schedule was busy but we never really had an issue of making time for us quite regularly. I suppose that schedules weren't that big of an issue for us because we both have crazy schedules. But I think that when you want to spend time with someone special you just make time and put other things aside. You learn to prioritize things and make the time that you spend together even more special and meaningful.
When you meet someone, you must accept--to a certain extent--the baggage that comes with dating that person. Baggage includes time constraints and career responsibilities. I know I've had difficulty with people adjusting to my crazy schedule in the past. It wasn't until I started dating my guy that I felt for the first time a sense of understanding from my significant other. So I guess the solution to your problem is to find another person who knows first-hand about having career obligations or is at least able to view things from your perspective.
Whether or not someone will accept you and your career as a precondition of having a love life should not even enter the equation. If you find someone who loves you for good, you (both) will MAKE time for each other.
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QUOTE Jul 11, 2012 3:23 PM GMTI'd date a doctor, I'd just make sure he washed his hands REAL good before he touched me.
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QUOTE Jul 11, 2012 3:27 PM GMTI am a very independent person. While I yearn for intimate contact with a man whom I love I have also been doing without that same contact for nearly a decade (since I came out at 16-17). I believe that I could easily handle that sort of relationship
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Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Aug 17, 2012 1:29 AM GMT
NorthChinaLi saiddoctors make lots of money.
so go for the doctor
Says the chinese guy... -
QUOTE Aug 17, 2012 4:16 PM GMTDefinitely a turn on for me
Happy that it's not for a lot of people - more for me
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Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Aug 17, 2012 4:17 PM GMT
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Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profileQUOTE Aug 17, 2012 4:22 PM GMTGO FOR IT!! We are on the same path...
I'll begin my hospital internship year in 2 weeks! it's worth all the sacrifice -
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