If i don't experience those traumatic violence in the past since little and have a good lifestyle, would i still be gay?

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    Apr 07, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    Hi Goodday! My name is Hames im 23 y/o and i quit trying to be heterosexual, i fully accepted myself last month, i never tell to my family, friends or anyone that i am homosexual. You are a lucky gay because you are the first person to know that I AM GAY & I WANT TO MAKE THIS JOURNEY PRODUCTIVE. This is my coming-out, This is my story...

    - At the young age of 4 y/o (the farthest rewinding of my thoughts that i can still remember) my Mother & Sister is always with me, because my Father is working to support our daily needs as well as my mother when were in school with my sister. As well as they are handling family business in seasonal basis. We belong to a middle class family. So sometimes when both of my parents are busy working we are left home, we have different friends, somewhat the same likes but generally were like cats and dogs. were never get along growing-up, we are never close. So my close friends are my girl neighbors we had fun and i feel im comfortable being with them. When I was 5 y/o i went to my neighbor's general merchandise store and buy Tamarind Candy he said i can only get the candy i ill go inside there house, when im inside i was amaze because they have TV and its on then i watched. Later he get my candy and he said " You can get this candy only if you suck my cock." I was clueless and i told him " That is dirty and smells bad". Then he replied: " OK, I will put alcohol" Then i was terrified, i told him to let me go home. but he said " (Shouting) NO!! after you suck my cock i will give your candy and i let you go home." then he drag me to there comfort room and i suck he's cock. After that i was crying and he told me not tell anyone what had happened. Since then im afraid to buy in there store. After a few weeks my Mom order me to buy spices she give me money and i went out to buy it to different store but i end up nothing to buy only the store that im afraid off is only left then i don't have i choice i went there and monster is there it happen again 2 times and im in trauma i become a loner. When i reach Grade 3 that time my classmate told me that i was gay and that is the start of bullies and violence because im girly but inside of me it kinda hurts i pray God that this phenomenon will perish. but i just ignored it, play, have a life but never fighting for that bullies because i rise in a Roman Catholic belief and one of the teachings are love your enemy. That beliefs always holding me back to punch back. When i reach high school the bullies are traumatic i end-up living by myself and stay away from my neighborhood and seek happiness to my classmates but still im hiding my true feelings because i wanted to fit in. But still i don't have best-friend, i always pray to GOD to make my action manly and then i discover porn materials and it was in a pictures of playboy and i get erected and i learn to masturbate since then, i always do it when im alone, then straight video porn then i had my first girlfriend we had intimate scene on new years eve, we went to our old abandoned house with a fiend and his girlfriend were 2 couples in that house, then its dark and the air is sweet coldy then i hug my gf, kissing toridly to her lips, neck down to her shoulder and to her breast.................ohsssssssssssss...... but im confuse why that im not erected with her? then i didn't fuck her we went to her house and sleep over. Since then im confuse when im watching barely legal straight porn i always wanted to watch a masculine big dick porn star and get aroused and masturbate. after i get stunned my belief of Roman Catholic will condemned me this is a sin. that is why i pray to GOD that please make me feel erected with girls. but since then till today is not happening that is why last month i decided to full acceptance of my natural being and this April 8 im turning 24 and i want to revolutionize my way of life and belief. Today im ideology would be liberalism, equality, humanitarian, environmentalism, justice, democracy, love and MODERN ROMAN CATHOLIC i will fully follow the great commandments as well as the 10 commandments because GOD is LOVE. and he wants me to LIVE HAPPY, BLISSFULLY...
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    Apr 07, 2012 4:40 PM GMT
    mizzouguy10 saidBeing gay doesn't mean you're less of a man. They're separate things.

    And no, trauma didn't cause your gayness.


    mmm..hope your an expert or is there any research on child violence or any so ill can fully believe you.icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 07, 2012 4:43 PM GMT
    @ mizzoguy congrats your the first person to know my story and i was gay, love ya' i hope we can meet sooner, i keep my firstime, and hoping to be forever.icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 07, 2012 4:47 PM GMT
    Sadly there are some fucked up people in the world who take advantage of kids. Sorry to hear what happened to you.

    Personally I don't believe anything traumatizing event can "turn" someone gay, but it would be rather difficult to prove. I'm sure there have been plenty of recorded cases of gay abuse where the victim is straight though.
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    Apr 07, 2012 5:58 PM GMT
    @ S34 thanks bud, i hope i can forget that past abuse.icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 07, 2012 6:41 PM GMT
    myLoveAngel said@ S34 thanks bud, i hope i can forget that past abuse.icon_cry.gif


    You will no forget but you can keep those memories locked and move on. Blaming your past for your reality is definitely not the right approach to keep past experiences away. Embrace yourself and enjoy your life.
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    Apr 07, 2012 7:31 PM GMT
    @ carlitos muchas gracias amigoicon_wink.gif
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    Apr 08, 2012 2:14 AM GMT
    Did all straight men have a blissfully happy childhood ?
    Of course not.

    We were born gay, or straight, or bisexual...
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    Apr 08, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    @ Webster Thanks. i just can't even ignore the back of my mind shouting
    "What If" icon_cry.gif and that thing when i was 9 y/o i tried it to my cousin twice hays for now realizing that bugs me. icon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gifforgive me coz, i dont know what im doingicon_cry.gificon_cry.gificon_cry.gif
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    Apr 08, 2012 5:46 PM GMT
    myLoveAngel saidIf i don't experience those traumatic violence in the past since little and have a good lifestyle, would i still be gay?
    No, but you'd probably be a straight axe murderer to make up for the trauma you didn't experience.