Your first love,

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    Apr 07, 2012 3:52 PM GMT
    first love.

    have you forgotten about him or is he still with you?

    because perhaps you'll fall in love a few more times. maybe tomorrow, today, or next week.

    but the truth is that prince charming appears when you really really and truly want to love someone. and at the end of the day, they win and you lose.
    you lose because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about every one else--

    it is him you'll unknowingly spend the rest of your life trying to find again. same soul, different body; your first love shall always be your template.


    but i'm young.. so what do i know..


    "dedicated to those wondering if i'm writing about them. i am."

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    Apr 07, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    My first love: the everything burrito.

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    Apr 07, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    I don't remember him.
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    Apr 07, 2012 6:27 PM GMT
    Never been in love before (maybe once very slightly, but that didn't last longer than a day lol).

    yes yes foreveralone, etc. I just don't fall easily in love, plus i've only been outed a couple of years and don't have a lot of contact with gay guys. Although the latter is changing somewhat. The gay scene bores me like hell, but i'm kind of forcing myself to give it a try. And some people keep asking me out, so I can only refuse that many times, before coming across as a total douchebag.
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    Apr 07, 2012 6:30 PM GMT
    Ha when I think of my 'first male love' I mostly cringe. What the fuck was I thinking back then icon_lol.gif

    I do sometimes miss all the drama/punishment I went through because it appeals to the masochist in me but I certainly ain't looking for someone like that again !
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    Apr 07, 2012 8:11 PM GMT
    O yeah, i am so glad he is no longer in my life.. ahem... seriously, if it doesnt work out.. dont worry.. its really not the end of the world
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    Apr 09, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    Fell in love for the first time when I was 30. But, it's one sided. In the begining, I deluded myself by thinking that it's only an infatuation. My feelings only deepened as I got to know him better. At one point, I thought he may like me more than as a friend, but it was probably wishful thinking. However, I'm glad that it happened. At least, I found out what it's like to be in love. But, knowing that I won't get my first love depresses the heck out of me.
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    Apr 09, 2012 2:14 AM GMT
    I don't think I've ever properley been in love.

    But I've been overley infatuated with about three guys in my entire life. I still think about them all the time except for one who is such a turn off now.
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Apr 09, 2012 2:18 AM GMT
    Oh you nailed it sister. I'm still searching for a guy who can compare to him. I'm in love now, and have been in between with other guys. He's still the one they all have to compete with though.
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    Apr 09, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    My first. I remember him. Hasn't crossed my mind in a long time.
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    Apr 09, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    i dont have, because i want to fall in love with MR. Body Perfect, Rich & Caring Guy, i end up sucking there dicks then finish, some of them just want sex they dont love. icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 09, 2012 2:40 AM GMT
    broke up with him almost two months ago... hardest thing i've ever had to do
  • Dbrad3693

    Posts: 227

    Apr 09, 2012 2:42 AM GMT
    My first love was tough, mostly because he stabbed me in the back....
    Now when I think of him, i become very sad, which is stupid, i know, but even though it was years ago, i still become very sad
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    Apr 09, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    Still looking .... ^^
  • m0dern

    Posts: 32

    Apr 09, 2012 4:33 AM GMT
    Just finished my first real relationship this week gone and was also my first love. We were together for 8 months.

    I'm 23 and he was 30.
    He helped me come out.. we moved in quickly and lived together for 6 months.
    but he also cheated on me twice as a 'punishment' for doing trivial things he didn't like and it broke my heart. Of course he lied about it at first but in the end he admitted and gave his justification for why he did it.
    I think in the end as sexy as he is, I deserve to be treated better.

    So here's to moving on..
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    Apr 09, 2012 4:52 AM GMT
    My first love made me weak in the knees.

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    Apr 09, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    LOL this is going to sound super cheesy but I haven't had a first love yet, but I can't wait regardless of if it's reciprocated or not.
    Hopefully it will be reciprocated but just to know what it feels like would be nice. I say this now but with me, love and rejection I have a hunch that I feel as equally as strong as each other so I say all this in theory ... let's hope the practical is just as nice.
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    Apr 09, 2012 5:08 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    BRoss saidLOL this is going to sound super cheesy but I haven't had a first love yet, but I can't wait regardless of if it's reciprocated or not.
    Hopefully it will be reciprocated but just to know what it feels like would be nice. I say this now but with me, love and rejection I have a hunch that I feel as equally as strong as each other so I say all this in theory ... let's hope the practical is just as nice.
    Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Don't rush it.

    paulflexes saidMy first love made me weak in the knees.
    That was cocaine you put in to that, not sugar.
    Mommy made it for me. Maybe she had better party favors than I was aware of. icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 09, 2012 7:27 AM GMT
    My first love was amazing. He was my first boyfriend I had when I came out and was the distillation of everything I wanted in a guy growing up.

    How we met was a sweet and romantic, the dating and relationship bit in the middle was awesome and the breakup was bitter sweet and amicable. I only have fond memories of him, and I hope he of me.

    I've bumped into him twice since then and it's like our feelings for each other have not changed. We just pick up where we left off.

    But I wouldn't use him as a template for future love interests. When I date someone I want to feel like I've dated a completely new and unique person that has introduced me to/taught me new things.
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    Apr 09, 2012 8:32 AM GMT
    earthsearch saidMy first love was amazing. He was my first boyfriend I had when I came out and was the distillation of everything I wanted in a guy growing up.

    How we met was a sweet and romantic, the dating and relationship bit in the middle was awesome and the breakup was bitter sweet and amicable. I only have fond memories of him, and I hope he of me.

    I've bumped into him twice since then and it's like our feelings for each other have not changed. We just pick up where we left off.

    But I wouldn't use him as a template for future love interests. When I date someone I want to feel like I've dated a completely new and unique person that has introduced me to/taught me new things.


    that's so sweet...makes me wonder what went wrong
  • pacojavier

    Posts: 1

    Apr 09, 2012 9:19 AM GMT
    my first love i cnt not remember eheheehehicon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 09, 2012 12:31 PM GMT
    I think I am still a little bit in love with my first love.. : )))
  • musicdude

    Posts: 734

    Apr 09, 2012 12:57 PM GMT
    still in the process of moving on from my first love. we broke up officially last august but things were kept ambiguous. we were still in each others lives. i like to think we're still very close, i still love him deeply (i always will), but i moved to my home province and now he started dating someone else. we text and skype once in a while. although i do miss him, it doesn't pain my heart the way it use to. i know he's happy and that's all that matters. it hit home when he stopped saying "i love you" about a month ago but i know its because we'll never be able to completely move on until we stop saying it. it think about him everyday. you learn to live with it. i'll never forget
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    Apr 09, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    How can it be? it felts right and true, so its love icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 09, 2012 8:15 PM GMT
    Most of us have some experience with this. I like to think of it as an understanding we can have, that brings us all, as gay dudes, closer together. I don't want to downplay a hetero first love, by saying this... but I think because of the coming out process, the fear, and discovery that floods you when you find your first love at a young age.. when maybe you feel like you're doing something wrong because it's all so new. You act against everything you know and truly, what you FEEL guides you... I think because of all that, a gay first love is more powerful by far.

    I still think of, remember, sometimes even want what I had with my first. To me it's like.. idk something really morbid like a dead child. There's just no denying how beautiful it all was. So much so that it feels hard to explain. Like there are no words for how we felt and that's why we were quiet when we felt it. But.. no matter how good it feels to remember that, it's gone.

    It's not a struggle any more to deal with it. I was lucky enough to find someone.. similar soul, different body kinda deal. Only without most of the bad, and even more of the good. We're really happy together and there's respect between us.. appreciation... passion.

    It's true that I don't feel that it's as earth shattering, heavens opening, time stopping kinda feeling I once had.. There's no way to fake that. But it's a different relationship, so I'm glad the feel is different. Now it's more conscious. More purpose filled. So I know that if I can go through.. what I went through, with my first love.. and then later come to live as happily as I do now, that anyone can make it.