So...how do you find your mojo back?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2012 2:05 PM GMT
    After being with the same person for about 8 months, things ended(in a friendly way). Then I had one date that didn't work (the usual gay guy who says he's not ready,zzz). Then I slept in the same bed with someone that I knew from last summer but nothing hapenned because he didn't want to.

    To make a story short, It's not that I feel ugly or anything,but I feel like I have lost my sex appeal. I feel like people want to be friend with me but nothing more. My mojo is totally gone and it's been a while like that. I thought it would pass eventually but it's not...

    I have a good job, I have many friends, we go out every friday and saturday and meet new people, I work out and play sports 5-6times per week, so Im not too sure what else I could be doing.

    Hopefully some answers here will help me.

    So I hope my post doesn't look too weird. Thanks to everyone for the advices.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2012 2:19 PM GMT
    Do YOU not feel like having sex? Or do you feel like people don't want to have sex with you?
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    Apr 08, 2012 2:24 PM GMT
    7Famark saidDo YOU not feel like having sex? Or do you feel like people don't want to have sex with you?


    Feel like people don't want to have sex with me
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    Apr 08, 2012 2:52 PM GMT
    maybe its the montreal winter! ok, just joking. i know what you mean. when you are attracted to someone, usually there is something in their energy or personality that you pick up on. of course we can all be attracted to good looking people, but sometimes their personality or energy or something else about them just makes them not approachable. right?

    meanwhile, the opposite can be true too. sometimes even the guys who are not the best looking, don't have a perfect bod, don't play sports or isn't very popular, but they have a spirit or vibe or personality which is totally attractive and turns you on.

    so my question to you is, what has been on your mind lately? this may be coming through in subtle ways which you don't realise, but other people pick up on.
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    Apr 08, 2012 3:05 PM GMT
    youarewhatyouare said
    7Famark saidDo YOU not feel like having sex? Or do you feel like people don't want to have sex with you?


    Feel like people don't want to have sex with me
    It's just a dry spell. Go back to sleep. You'll get laid eventually.
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    Apr 08, 2012 3:05 PM GMT
    Two people refused your avances and you think you lost your sex appeal? I think you need to work on your confidence / self-image, because it's not normal to jump to such conclusions that fast.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 08, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    I'd keep in mind that life is a balance.... we all have our great days, when things seem absolutely fantasic. Sometimes we focus on those "high" points and feel our life is about those times.

    We all need times of reflection, to think, review and assess.... that my friend is part of getting your "mojo" back. There isn't anything wrong with you in the least. You are out of your regular routine and probably have let things drift a bit. Seize control of your life and learn how to make it better and in a way you are happy, brings you fulfillment and betters you as a person!
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    Apr 08, 2012 3:13 PM GMT
    Ever see that episode of Family Guy where Quagmire is teaching Chris his secret for getting women? He looks like he's swimming in 'tang, but really he just hits on every woman he sees and eventually finds one that says yes.

    It's not quite like that... but it's kinda like that. Everyone gets rejected all the time. No one is everyone's type. 2 rejections doesn't make you a sexless troll... just get back in the game.
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    Apr 08, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    I felt like that for awhile to OP...and the answer is time. You have to be comfortable with yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally in order to have sex with someone. Before this past thursday, I didn't have sex since..August. The trick is to really stop looking so hard and focus on yourself. Just have fun with your friends and keep working hard at your job.

    It will happen. Believe me.
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    Apr 08, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    You haven't found that one that just makes you're heart beat in your head when you're in the sack with them and you're soo turned on that you're eyes dilate so that you can't see straight and all you can smell is them and its driving you nuts and just want more for them and to be there in that moment forever...

    Maybe you're one of the guys that are meant to be single for the rest of you're life as well? If that's the case enjoy random sex a lot more cause it might be you're only real way of getting off?

    I don't know either way I don't know what you're talking about, I never let any relationship slip that far that in bed you're bored with the person...

    Here's to hoping you find someone who will keep you entertained in bed that you and or he doesn't want to fuck you in bed but just sleep in bed... icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 08, 2012 5:15 PM GMT
    Hey one question..... are you talking about your ex with your new acquaintances. If you are or if you are comparing anything about your ex, that could be the turn off. They probably feel you aren't over him.

    Your ex should be your secret and you should looking at everything like a new adventure. Of course those guys may not be looking for sex on the first date or sleepover..... yah right....lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2012 6:05 PM GMT
    A montage...

    The mall, a Hawaiian vacation.... A painful looking bikini wax scene where we all wince
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2012 6:09 PM GMT
    Just buy it at your local grocer!

    PreMade%20MOJO.jpg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVE
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    Apr 08, 2012 6:10 PM GMT
    Larkin saidEver see that episode of Family Guy where Quagmire is teaching Chris his secret for getting women? He looks like he's swimming in 'tang, but really he just hits on every woman he sees and eventually finds one that says yes.

    It's not quite like that... but it's kinda like that. Everyone gets rejected all the time. No one is everyone's type. 2 rejections doesn't make you a sexless troll... just get back in the game.



    I preferred the one where Brian's going through the slump and they dress Stewie up in drag and go out to make his dumb ex jealous.

    "Hey.... Is that Deseri?"
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    Apr 08, 2012 6:14 PM GMT
    Larkin saidEver see that episode of Family Guy where Quagmire is teaching Chris his secret for getting women? He looks like he's swimming in 'tang, but really he just hits on every woman he sees and eventually finds one that says yes.

    It's not quite like that... but it's kinda like that. Everyone gets rejected all the time. No one is everyone's type. 2 rejections doesn't make you a sexless troll... just get back in the game.


    THIS icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 08, 2012 6:14 PM GMT
    i think its probably just a phase.. I have phases, usually in between dating somebody, that just can't be asked to be interested in anybody.. that usually wanes and then it starts back up again.. i think this is normal at this point
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    Apr 08, 2012 7:36 PM GMT
    kingmo saidmaybe its the montreal winter! ok, just joking. i know what you mean. when you are attracted to someone, usually there is something in their energy or personality that you pick up on. of course we can all be attracted to good looking people, but sometimes their personality or energy or something else about them just makes them not approachable. right?

    meanwhile, the opposite can be true too. sometimes even the guys who are not the best looking, don't have a perfect bod, don't play sports or isn't very popular, but they have a spirit or vibe or personality which is totally attractive and turns you on.

    so my question to you is, what has been on your mind lately? this may be coming through in subtle ways which you don't realise, but other people pick up on.


    Cool post. I do believe in energy as well. I guess my energy isnt where it was before but I can't pinpoint why...
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    Apr 08, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    Truppensturm saidTwo people refused your avances and you think you lost your sex appeal? I think you need to work on your confidence / self-image, because it's not normal to jump to such conclusions that fast.


    It goes way beyond that. The whole going-back-to-dating totally sucks to me. Having to start again. I know I can go on grindr and manhunt and get laid its not just about rejection.
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    Apr 08, 2012 7:42 PM GMT
    robbee333 saidHey one question..... are you talking about your ex with your new acquaintances. If you are or if you are comparing anything about your ex, that could be the turn off. They probably feel you aren't over him.

    Your ex should be your secret and you should looking at everything like a new adventure. Of course those guys may not be looking for sex on the first date or sleepover..... yah right....lol


    Yeah I didnt think of that. I'll make sure I wont mention him.
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    Apr 08, 2012 7:57 PM GMT
    Well, I betcha that putting you on my hot list will be a good start.

    ;)

    Tell yourself this everyday, many times a day. You will send that energy that people are attracted to.

    (you ARE totally hot)

    icon_smile.gif

    good luck
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    Apr 08, 2012 9:22 PM GMT
    Time and patience.
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    Apr 08, 2012 9:30 PM GMT
    Sounds to me that if YOU believe your mojo/confidence has dulled, there's some underlying reason. Time for a some personal reflection perhaps? What's nagging your confidence? Are you not over the end of your brief love affair? Are you questioning what you really want? Did the end of your relationship bring into question some perceived self-lack?

    Write down a bunch of questions in relation to the issue. Then answer those questions honestly in your best words. Might take you through to the next place and have your mojo back firmly in hand.
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    Apr 08, 2012 10:26 PM GMT
    youarewhatyouare said
    kingmo saidmaybe its the montreal winter! ok, just joking. i know what you mean. when you are attracted to someone, usually there is something in their energy or personality that you pick up on. of course we can all be attracted to good looking people, but sometimes their personality or energy or something else about them just makes them not approachable. right?

    meanwhile, the opposite can be true too. sometimes even the guys who are not the best looking, don't have a perfect bod, don't play sports or isn't very popular, but they have a spirit or vibe or personality which is totally attractive and turns you on.

    so my question to you is, what has been on your mind lately? this may be coming through in subtle ways which you don't realise, but other people pick up on.


    Cool post. I do believe in energy as well. I guess my energy isnt where it was before but I can't pinpoint why...


    This was my thought. Maybe the relationship ended in a friendly way, but you got used to the comfort of consistency. Who wants to get back in the fray? Could it be that it seems tiresome to you now? That will definitely come through. My advice: when you met people, be a good listener; focus on them. And look them in the eyes. And smile. I've looked at your pics. If you don't have a mojo, ain't no one got a mojo!
  • Parker817

    Posts: 359

    Apr 08, 2012 10:54 PM GMT
    youarewhatyouare said
    It goes way beyond that. The whole going-back-to-dating totally sucks to me. Having to start again. I know I can go on grindr and manhunt and get laid its not just about rejection.


    I had to scroll back up -- i thought maybe I mistook 8 months for 8 years. But no, you def said 8 months. Then I took a look at your profile, and saw that you're still just a youngin' -- so, i guess 8 months can seem like 8 years.

    In the grand scheme of life, this was but a blip. Like Smartmoney said, it's all about patience. When I ended things with my boyfriend in 2007, it took until summer 2008 before I got my mojo back -- coincidentally, with a dude nicknamed MoJo (Morris Joseph). It'll come back for you -- just keep doing you in the meantime bud! Focus on other things, and it'll show up when you least expect it.
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    Apr 09, 2012 12:24 AM GMT
    EASTCOASTNAZTime and patience.


    +1icon_smile.gif