Are being submissive, sissy, wanting "daddy" and being fem all shades of the same thing, in the end (in a gay man)?

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    Apr 09, 2012 1:00 PM GMT
    Discuss amongst yourselves, please.
  • spacemountain

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    Apr 10, 2012 6:04 AM GMT
    i personally identify with all those things. but other people have a variety of different likes/interests. so i would say no, in general, these are not the same things.
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    Apr 10, 2012 6:44 AM GMT
    spacemountain saidi personally identify with all those things. but other people have a variety of different likes/interests. so i would say no, in general, these are not the same things.


    I also identify with all of those things. In my case, the results desired seem to be the same because if acted out they lead to the same thing.
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    Apr 10, 2012 8:34 AM GMT
    botmrunner4toprunner saidAre being submissive, sissy, wanting "daddy" and being fem all shades of the same thing, in the end (in a gay man)?
    Absolutely! There's nothing I want more than some nursing-home bound sugar-daddy to rule every moment of my existence so I can dress in the finest drag outfits and have the world's most prominent makeup artists apply my makeup and do my nails.

    /sarcasm
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    Apr 10, 2012 8:39 AM GMT
    For a gay bottom those things might be true.
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    Apr 10, 2012 11:39 AM GMT
    I happen to know a lot of guys who are quite masculine and want to be spanked by a sugar daddy... and vice versa.
    I, for example, can easily be put in the "queen" category, but trust me I have absolutely no need or desire to be someone's boy toy.
    And don't let me get started on the sexual role statement....

    It is so depressing that even gay men are still talking about such stupid stereotypes.
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    Apr 10, 2012 2:42 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    botmrunner4toprunner saidAre being submissive, sissy, wanting "daddy" and being fem all shades of the same thing, in the end (in a gay man)?
    Absolutely! There's nothing I want more than some nursing-home bound sugar-daddy to rule every moment of my existence so I can dress in the finest drag outfits and have the world's most prominent makeup artists apply my makeup and do my nails.

    /sarcasm


    I think you take the term "daddy" too literally. To me, it implies getting attention from a (stronger) older man, or even a man my age or a bit younger, who takes at least a somewhat dominant but caring and loving role, non judgmental, etc. "Master" could mean the same thing. The hyperbole and sarcasm in your response underlies the uninformed and irrational prejudice that help divide gays (humans all) into mutually intolerant groups rather than creating understanding, love and greater social and political solidarity.
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    Apr 11, 2012 12:29 AM GMT
    I consider myself submissive in the bedroom. I usually let the other guy take the lead and I only care about pleasing the other guy (I'll even top if the guy wants me to). Sometimes I don't even cum though lol.

    However, I wouldn't say I'm a sissy--I rarely complain and have a high tolerance for pain.

    My daddy lives with my mom. lol

    And I'd say that I'm mild-mannered. I'm not fem but I'm certainly not as masculine as a lot of the guys on here. My fem side comes out emotionally and psychologically.

    So, I'm not sure... there may be common threads but I think everyone is different.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Apr 11, 2012 1:39 AM GMT
    I think they are all different things, but there is tons of overlap between them as well as many people who fit one category but not the others.

    There are lots of people who are submissive sexually but otherwise you wouldn't consider them femmy or a sissy. And then the opposite is true as well, there are some really femmy sissy tops out there who like to be the dominant one sexually....just not as common as the fems who want to be subs
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    Apr 11, 2012 1:06 PM GMT
    jackthejock saidI think they are all different things, but there is tons of overlap between them as well as many people who fit one category but not the others.

    There are lots of people who are submissive sexually but otherwise you wouldn't consider them femmy or a sissy. And then the opposite is true as well, there are some really femmy sissy tops out there who like to be the dominant one sexually....just not as common as the fems who want to be subs


    Very interesting response. All these possible variations may make it more difficult for individuals to understand themselves as well as other gays.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Apr 12, 2012 12:10 AM GMT
    I guess to me I think of femmy/sissy vs being butch/masculine as being the way somebody walks, talks, dresses, acts. And then being dominant or submissive is more about your sexual behaviors and desires.


    Another layer of it too is whether or not a guy who is submissive in the bedroom is also submissive in the rest of the relationship. There are some couples who do the Dom/sub thing all the time and then other couples who are 100% equal outside the bedroom and only get into Dom/sub stuff when they have sex.


  • Apr 16, 2012 4:40 AM GMT
    no, but there is somewhat of a theme there. the theme would be submission, feeling a lack of full masculinity (daddy/boy) in yourself. but i agree that they are not exactly the same. dressing like a girl is obviously emphasizing the feminine (absence of masculinity), but being 'daddy's boy' is being an incomplete man (not absence, but slightly less of a man). this isn't a diagnosis of something, just how we connect what we consider manhood to sexuality. being gay is complicated.
  • SoftHeart

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    Jun 10, 2012 10:40 PM GMT
    conscienti1984 saidI consider myself submissive in the bedroom. I usually let the other guy take the lead and I only care about pleasing the other guy (I'll even top if the guy wants me to). Sometimes I don't even cum though lol.

    However, I wouldn't say I'm a sissy--I rarely complain and have a high tolerance for pain.

    My daddy lives with my mom. lol

    And I'd say that I'm mild-mannered. I'm not fem but I'm certainly not as masculine as a lot of the guys on here. My fem side comes out emotionally and psychologically.

    So, I'm not sure... there may be common threads but I think everyone is different.


    I have to completely agree. I just seem to attract dominant men and I just happily fall into the "male wife" type of role. I don't appreciate someone pushing me around, but I like a guy who knows what he wants and knows I'm going to give it to him sooner or later, so what's wrong with now? And like a smart "wife" I don't fight city hall. If he want a piece of ass in the dressing room in Macy's, I may object, but if he insists, down come my pants!

    I think I make up for it by being normally masculine in my plain vanilla life when we are in "straight" public, but there is no question who wears the pants in the family and I wouldn't have it any other way. It just seems to be the natural way of life for me!