My Dog Displays His Prejudice at Lunch

  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Apr 09, 2012 11:37 PM GMT
    My bulldog, Jar Head, was present at lunch today sitting in the dining room while I entertained two couples, one straight and one gay. I must admit, until his big surprise, he sat quietly and did not beg food, although he would let no one pet him.

    As lunch finished and my maid cleared the table, the husband stood up and his wife also stood and kissed the husband on the cheek. Jar Head went crazy. He growled and barked expressing his displeasure. All of us were shocked to be honest. My straight friends didn't know whether to run or ask me to remove Jar Head, who had calmed to a degree.

    Adding fuel to the fire -- so they thought -- my gay friends stood and passionately kissed, thinking Jar Head would go crazy oince again.

    Nooooo..... My little devil in fur wagged his tail. The stub that it is.

    Obviously unnerved, my lunch guest departed in short order.

    It was then time for Jar Head and I to have a talk. I'm sure he had no frickin' idea what I was trying to explain to him about embarrassing guests. He just sat there and gave me the most disdainful look any dog can muster.

    I did have the last word. I told him the next time I had straight guests, I was going to lock his ass in the hanger. The little rat then whimpered.
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    Apr 09, 2012 11:43 PM GMT
    Jesus f'n christ.icon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gificon_rolleyes.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 09, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    your dog is a heterophobe
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 09, 2012 11:58 PM GMT
    You have a maid?
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    Apr 10, 2012 12:01 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?


    Perhaps she's his nanny?
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    Apr 10, 2012 12:21 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?
    LMAO
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    Apr 10, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?
    She has everything you can imagine.. Key word "imagine".icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 10, 2012 12:32 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?


    Ssshhhhhh. Don't ask it any questions, otherwise he'll say more. Just sit quietly in a corner and pretend to be interested like everyone else does.
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    Apr 10, 2012 12:35 AM GMT
    mplsmike said
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?


    Ssshhhhhh. Don't ask it any questions, otherwise he'll say more. Just sit quietly in a corner and pretend to be interested like everyone else does.
    LMAO.. That made my day!
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    Apr 10, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    mplsmike said
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?


    Ssshhhhhh. Don't ask it any questions, otherwise he'll say more. Just sit quietly in a corner and pretend to be interested like everyone else does.
    LMAO.. That made my day!


    Glad that I could be of service. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 10, 2012 12:49 AM GMT
    My late, overly precious, border collie was picky about things like that. Basically, she insisted on being the cutest thing in the room. Hence she didn't like people paying attention to little girls. She also didn't allow anybody to run in her presence. Not sure what that was about. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Apr 10, 2012 12:50 AM GMT
    Timbales saidyour dog is a heterophobe


    He is a heterophobe and often a bad boy. I have to keep an eye on him around male guests. He loves poking his nose in their crotch and sniffing.

    I think he is a closet whore.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Apr 10, 2012 12:52 AM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?
    She has everything you can imagine.. Key word "imagine".icon_wink.gif


    She is an old battle-ax. I imagine she'd get great pleasure out of whopping your ass. icon_biggrin.gif
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Apr 10, 2012 12:53 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidMy late, overly precious, border collie was picky about things like that. Basically, she insisted on being the cutest thing in the room. Hence she didn't like people paying attention to little girls. She also didn't allow anybody to run in her presence. Not sure what that was about. icon_rolleyes.gif


    She thought it was undignified.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Apr 10, 2012 12:54 AM GMT
    White4DarkerFL said
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?


    Perhaps she's his nanny?


    Damn straight. You think a young kid like me is actually going to cook lunch.
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    Apr 10, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    conservativejock said
    TropicalMark said
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?
    She has everything you can imagine.. Key word "imagine".icon_wink.gif


    She is an old battle-ax. I imagine she'd get great pleasure out of whopping your ass. icon_biggrin.gif
    In your dreams battle ass. In your dreams.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 10, 2012 1:36 AM GMT
    That was a cute story and your dog seems adorable. However, I'm sure if I was one of the people he barked at, then my opinion would be slightly different.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Apr 10, 2012 1:44 AM GMT
    I think it's time to have your dog humanely euthanized.
  • DesireIron

    Posts: 426

    Apr 10, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    conservativejock saidObviously unnerved, my lunch guest departed in short order.

    Your guests?
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Apr 10, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    sweetyork saidThat was a cute story and your dog seems adorable. However, I'm sure if I was one of the people he barked at, then my opinion would be slightly different.


    He really made them feel weird. A member of my family has a Dachsund that does the same thing, at least when any two people kiss. He is cute when he needs to pottie. He goes and stands in front of the nearest toilet until you let him out.
  • conservativej...

    Posts: 2465

    Apr 10, 2012 2:09 AM GMT
    monet saidI think it's time to have your dog humanely euthanized.


    Well, I forgive you. Jar Head and I are inseparable. He sleeps on the foot of my bed. (Which could be the reason God did not make me 6'3" so he has room.)
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Apr 10, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    lol good to knwo i am not the only one with a crazy dog. my pitbull hates anyone kissing hugging play fighting all of it. unless she is involved lmao. during sex the door is locked or she would try to jump on the bed i am sure.
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    Apr 10, 2012 6:34 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidYou have a maid?



    first, who refers to them as maids? secondly, why would you say that? its not relevant to the story unless you wanted to throw that in there to boost your ego. in that case, my, you must be rich? i certainly think so (did that help your ego little penis man?).