Condom + erection

  • m0dern

    Posts: 32

    Apr 09, 2012 11:42 PM GMT
    Hey guys just after advice,
    I'm In my 20's and new to sex lol

    I want to top but every time I go to put the condom on I lose my erection. I end up just being the passive partner because it's frustrating to muck around in that position and get embarrassed.

    Any advice? How come no one else has this problem I've experienced? Also most of the time my partner will be always rock hard during the encounter but I will alternate between hard and kind of soft
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Apr 09, 2012 11:46 PM GMT
    Could be mental, you may be expecting it to happen so it does.

    Try having your partner put the condom on you.

    Try different brands and types of condoms.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 09, 2012 11:54 PM GMT
    I find that if you focus too hard on trying to stay hard you will loose your boner. Think about how hot the guy is you are about to penetrate..how good it will feel inside rather than concentrating so hard on your erection. Keeps me up icon_wink.gif
  • Ridiculance

    Posts: 40

    Apr 10, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    TheBizMan is probably right. Too much thought :/ I've been there, and yeah just focus on who you're about to be inside of and how amazing it's going to feel pounding their ass >icon_smile.gif
    It's sexier when your sex partner puts it on for you. I remember the feel of the condom would make me go soft. Lol >__<
    Good Luck!
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Apr 10, 2012 7:06 PM GMT
    Most of any sexual activity is mental - and while some guys can maintain an erection without any problem, some guys lose an erection during sex for a number of reasons. It's not a physical thing, but in most cases, mental. And, the more you "try" to get or keep it up, it just doesn't always work. You have to be mentally "relaxed" and a big part of that is being comfortable with your partner. Anxiety will make you lose an erection very quickly. Work up to fucking with a lot of foreplay. Take the suggestions of the other posters. Make putting on the condom part of the foreplay. If you lose your hard-on, then don't panic, just go back to some other play until you're hard again. As long as you're sure that physically you're fine then you just need to chill and you'll be able to get and keep it up. Don't focus on past failures, cause that will cause a mental block too. Too much drinking or drugs (not saying you do this, but some do) can also effect the ability to maintain an erection.
    A lot of guys "over think" sex - they worry about the next move, or what the other guy is thinking, or your mind is going a hundred miles an hour and your thoughts are all over the place. Relax your mind and focus on enjoying what your body is feeling.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2012 7:34 PM GMT
    it´s mental. If you lose it when the condom goes on just rub your dick over his arse hole til you get hard again. It´s a real turn on for the bottom and gets you back in the game.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 10, 2012 8:11 PM GMT
    Maybe practice on your own, so that you can lessen the time it takes and get used to the process? Jack with the condoms on, to get used to the feeling of the sheath and get some *positive* mental associations? And make sure that the condoms are readily available before you start?
  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Apr 11, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    Viagra; Levitra, may help, as long as you are feeling aroused. Porn actors use them regularly.
  • xtx4u

    Posts: 5

    Apr 12, 2012 12:11 AM GMT
    The first time I put on a condom, I came before I could finish rolling it on.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2012 12:15 AM GMT
    intensity69 saidMaybe practice on your own, so that you can lessen the time it takes and get used to the process? Jack with the condoms on, to get used to the feeling of the sheath and get some *positive* mental associations? And make sure that the condoms are readily available before you start?


    Best advice! practice lots. Despite sex being a natural encounter you will find that by practicing you will be able to last longer. Its like anything practice makes perfect. Most of all have fun with it dont pressure yourself
  • m0dern

    Posts: 32

    Apr 14, 2012 12:50 AM GMT
    Thanks all, I'll put these tips to use. Thanks alot

  • Apr 16, 2012 5:21 AM GMT
    wow, that can be embarrassing, but i know where you're coming from, so to speak. condoms make me, often, lose an erection. i don't know if its psychological or physical. i haven't topped in a long time, so its not an issue for me right now. i dont know what causes that to happen. a good question for a sex therapist or a doctor to answer. sometimes, though, i think it can happen if you are nervous or don't have much of an attraction to the bottom. the more you worry, the worse it will get, so take you're mind off things. for me, if i meet the right guy, it all falls into place.