Gay Bar/Club - Should They Exist? And Having "Gay" In Front Everything

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 1:03 AM GMT
    Before people attack me, just listen to my reasoning. I understand that they exist so that gays can definitely meet gays and to act as a place that gays can go to be comfortable amongst their peers etc. but I was thinking, having gay clubs/bars kinda seems, to me at least, like how they used to have places that only people of certain races could go so it kinda acts like a segregation of sexually oriented people.

    I personally believe that we should be aiming to get rid of having everything related to gays always having 'gay' in front of it, that kinda helps keep things separated. Instead of 'gay sex' just say 'sex' or phase out gay bars/clubs (when people become way more tolerant) and just have everyone going to bars/clubs that is for all people.

    Does anyone else think that having gay bars/clubs as well as labelling all things "gay" keeping the divide between people and in a way mimicking the divide between races early on in human history?
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 10, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    Umm last time I checked straights are allowed to go to gay bars just as freely as anyone else. It's not segregated by law.. so that point is null.

    I get what you are saying, but I do not think it is detrimental.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    If you buy a house, you don't necessarily need a gay realtor because you are not buying a gay house. You don't need a gay bank because you are not taking out a gay loan or opening a gay checking or savings account. You don't need a gay grocery store because you are not buying gay food.

    But when it comes to a gay bar, you are going there to meet a gay hookup, looking for a gay boyfriend or looking to meet gay friends. 90-95% of the world is not gay so a gay bar does that filtering for you that you can't get at a straight nightclub. By your logic, why are you or any of us on this gay website?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 1:38 AM GMT
    hmmm...
    went to biker bars in my early twenties
    country bars in my late twenties
    gay bars in my thirties.
    when I want to watch Michigan get the shit beat out of them, I go to a Sports bar.
    If they weren't labeled how would I know what to expect...why would I go.

    I don't think I'd being going out on a limb here in assuming you don't go to gay bars, because of some preconceived notions.
    If I want to hit on guys, I go to gay bars.
    If I want to get hit on, I go to the straight bars; again I need labels.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    There are pockets within the US where you can't tell the difference between gay and straight bars...totally mixed and accepted on both sides.
  • ATXnative

    Posts: 240

    Apr 10, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    Hmm yeah, this is a personal issue.

    The world isn't going to change the way things work, even if it DOES make sense, or if you DID have a good reason.

    and none of this is going to happen, ESPECIALLY when it starts as a question on realjock.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 2:48 AM GMT
    MarkRoger saidBefore people attack me, just listen to my reasoning. I understand that they exist so that gays can definitely meet gays and to act as a place that gays can go to be comfortable amongst their peers etc. but I was thinking, having gay clubs/bars kinda seems, to me at least, like how they used to have places that only people of certain races could go so it kinda acts like a segregation of sexually oriented people.

    I personally believe that we should be aiming to get rid of having everything related to gays always having 'gay' in front of it, that kinda helps keep things separated. Instead of 'gay sex' just say 'sex' or phase out gay bars/clubs (when people become way more tolerant) and just have everyone going to bars/clubs that is for all people.

    Does anyone else think that having gay bars/clubs as well as labelling all things "gay" keeping the divide between people and in a way mimicking the divide between races early on in human history?


    Yeah - then you can start an insipid thread bitching about how every time you go to a bar or club every guy you are interested in turns out to be Straight.

    If I go to a Rock concert is it just like racial segregation because it does not include Country fans???? Are country fans kept out of a Rock concert????

    I went to a French restaurant the other night. THAT must REALLY grind your gears, huh?!?!??! What about Italian food, right?!?!?!?!?!!

    WTF is with MOVIE theatres?!?!?! Maybe I wanna see LIVE theatre!!!!!!! Why so judgemental??????

    If you are not clear on the distinctions involved in Gay sex...then DUDE, you SERIOUSLY need to get out more often.

    Maybe try a Gay bar some time.

    icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 2:52 AM GMT
    fuck. I want my click back.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 3:07 AM GMT
    Totally see where you're coming from. Maybe look at it this way. Almost all minority groups blacks, hispanics, asians etc have clubs, bars, events that cater to a core group. The label doesn't mean whites can't attend or go. The label just identifies the nature of the event. Labels, in and of themselves aren't the problem. It's how people react to the label. There are some towns like Austin, for example, that are becoming so integrated that gays can go to most bars and not get dirty looks or feel like outcasts if they dance. The label doesn't separate people. Our minds separate us.

    You're going to get some nasty responses from the RealJerks on here. Keep your head up. It's an interesting topic and you're only 21 so it's perfectly cool for you to ask that question.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    It's not about segregation but I know that if i see someone i am attracted to at a gay bar i can be pretty damn sure he is gay or at least gay friendly and not gonna freak it i chat him up...comfortable...
  • ATXnative

    Posts: 240

    Apr 10, 2012 3:30 AM GMT
    mattyrec saidIt's not about segregation but I know that if i see someone i am attracted to at a gay bar i can be pretty damn sure he is gay or at least gay friendly and not gonna freak it i chat him up...comfortable...


    Not to mention you usually

    A) know people there, for fun times
    B) Have a certain bartender that will get you FUCKED up
    C) Have semi-lame poppy remixes to get your dance on after you hang out with your bartender
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 3:31 AM GMT
    OP is ahead of the curb with his thinking. This may be what's next in a post same sex marriage world. Then it's a matter of people being judged by their own merit, unless we get into another war again. I wouldn't mind people freaking out and having such a strong stigma against "gay" things. If people really want to associate themselves with something against the grain, they can find that nonsense somewhere else like drugs, questionable clubs, and radical religious cults. The world is getting too small.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:11 AM GMT
    Interesting question... But there are also "women's clubs" and "men's clubs", like sororities and fraternities. if you want to get rid of segregation, I would ask why in the first place..? Segregation does not automatically mean repression.. I mean, otherwise we would have to even start getting rid of "kid's summer camps" ...

    I think the main issue with segregation in the US may be due to the issue of racial "apartheid"... to be fair.. in most ancient tribal cultures and even modern religions, including those of judaism and other religions.. segregation is a part of life.. that is why there are synagogues, churches and mosques, and why native tribes have their own separate ceremonies reserved for only them and not for outsiders.. and it is why there is ethnic and cultural diversity... and even there each has its own rules of segregation within it..

    I mean, it is a nice ideal to think that we should all stop segregating ourselves, but I think that is not really practical... an extreme example would be bathrooms.. I am sure there are people that want us all to no longer segregate in bathrooms, but even outside of the bathroom there are reasons for segregation, and I am fine with that, as long as it is not a cause for discrimination, it is fine
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:13 AM GMT
    ATXnative said
    mattyrec saidIt's not about segregation but I know that if i see someone i am attracted to at a gay bar i can be pretty damn sure he is gay or at least gay friendly and not gonna freak it i chat him up...comfortable...


    Not to mention you usually

    A) know people there, for fun times
    B) Have a certain bartender that will get you FUCKED up
    C) Have semi-lame poppy remixes to get your dance on after you hang out with your bartender


    in my case, if I go to a straight bar, I never get any dates.. if I go to a gay bar, I usually get at least a number ... I cant function in the dating pool in straight places lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:17 AM GMT
    Yes, because they tell us where people of a similar kind meet and socialize. Same goes with men's clubs, and women's clubs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:21 AM GMT
    I, like many of my fellow mo's, like gay bars because because you can safely assume everyone in there is either gay or at least gay friendly. As opposed to straight bars where, most often we are still welcome, but the guys their are most likely to straight (and at least a few probably homophobic as well). Gay is just a adjective here, I don't understand why the OP has an issue with it. If we don't call them gay bars then what? Bars that serve predominantly homosexuals and their hags? Just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?

    Oh, and of course, gays bars are just so much more fun because everyone knows...
    gays-do-it-better_design.png
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:22 AM GMT
    Cash said...
    I went to a French restaurant the other night. THAT must REALLY grind your gears, huh?!?!??! What about Italian food, right?!?!?!?!?!!
    ...


    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:27 AM GMT
    I understand what people are saying that the differentiation should be made so that those people of those particular interests go there but I guess it was a odd/bad way for me to go about the idea that general things like bars, sex, marriage etc. has to have the label 'gay' on it.

    The clubs/bars one specifically comes up for me because I heard 'acquaintances' of mine talking a day about when they went to a club they saw two fa*s there and they should go to 'their' club because they're not welcome in theirs. So I know straights are welcome in gay bars but why aren't gays welcome in straight/normal bars?

    Also, I might as well add this here instead of starting another thread... anyone else longing for the day when 'gay' is no longer an insult? When people don't throw around "that's really gay!" to something they don't like?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:29 AM GMT
    vballboy12 saidI, like many of my fellow mo's, like gay bars because because you can safely assume everyone in there is either gay or at least gay friendly. As opposed to straight bars where, most often we are still welcome, but the guys their are most likely to straight (and at least a few probably homophobic as well). Gay is just a adjective here,

    I don't understand why the OP has an issue with it.


    If we don't call them gay bars then what? Bars that serve predominantly homosexuals and their hags? Just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?

    Oh, and of course, gays bars are just so much more fun because everyone knows...
    >


    The OP is very young and, according to his profile, very very deep in the closet.

    This is most likely just his way of working through and rationalizing who he is and how he wants to be in life and the world. Most roads will lead to the inevitable...

    Many guys go through the phase of "What does it matter - Why should there be any distinctions - Why do I EVER have to come out EVER EVER EVER?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!"

    In time he will realize that the use or lack of adjectives are not what ultimately makes him comfortable and at peace with himself.

    And until then...

    gays-do-it-better_design.png
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:33 AM GMT
    *walks in a gay bar*

    SUDDENLY! GAYS EVERYWHERE!
    lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:35 AM GMT
    MarkRoger saidSo I know straights are welcome in gay bars but why aren't gays welcome in straight/normal bars?


    This is a false generalization; this isn't true where I live.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:35 AM GMT
    being gay is gay
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:36 AM GMT
    No.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:36 AM GMT
    TroyAthlete said
    MarkRoger saidSo I know straights are welcome in gay bars but why aren't gays welcome in straight/normal bars?


    This is a false generalization; this isn't true where I live.



    Check where the OP lives and that might explain it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 10, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    Cash said
    vballboy12 saidI, like many of my fellow mo's, like gay bars because because you can safely assume everyone in there is either gay or at least gay friendly. As opposed to straight bars where, most often we are still welcome, but the guys their are most likely to straight (and at least a few probably homophobic as well). Gay is just a adjective here,

    I don't understand why the OP has an issue with it.


    If we don't call them gay bars then what? Bars that serve predominantly homosexuals and their hags? Just rolls off the tongue doesn't it?

    Oh, and of course, gays bars are just so much more fun because everyone knows...
    >


    The OP is very young and, according to his profile, very very deep in the closet.

    This is most likely just his way of working through and rationalizing who he is and how he wants to be in life and the world. Most roads will lead to the inevitable...

    Many guys go through the phase of "What does it matter - Why should there be any distinctions - Why do I EVER have to come out EVER EVER EVER?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!"

    In time he will realize that the use or lack of adjectives are not what ultimately makes him comfortable and at peace with himself.

    And until then...

    gays-do-it-better_design.png


    Woah man, I do want to come out badly. I have no problem accepting myself just the situation I'm in doesn't allow for a comfortable coming out without risking being thrown out or just being cut financially or something along those lines.

    I just want to see a world where sexuality doesn't matter at all, no one calls it anything it's just who you love and no one feels any different. That's the world I'm looking forward to and it's not just sexuality but race, religion or lack thereof, your opinions and thoughts, likes/dislikes... I just want a world where people can be different and not have to be judged and/or hated by a mass group of others.

    I know it sounds really dumb and really optimistic but at least I can hope for a world like that.