Apr 10, 2012 5:59 AM GMT
This is a question I really need to find an answer to, for a number of reasons. Put simply, I do not feel the level of closeness to other people that they do to me in 99% of the cases. Several weeks ago I had come to the conclusion that in actuality it was the fact that my standards for feeling connectedness to others was just way too high. However, I have begun to rethink this again, and default back to feeling that there is something about my internal world that is blocking me from feeling close to others. Reason being is I am seeing disparities between these feelings showing up again.
What spurred this, is that a friend of mine (who I don't feel too much closeness to), texted me and said "miss you buddy". This truly caught me off guard. When I have been around him (and this guy in particular) my behavior has been quite languid, pensive, and almost depressive. Where as he is quite energetic, bouncy, and care-free (in many respects the opposite of me). I am quite good at figuring out the minds of others, and in this case I actually can't figure it out with him. The only reason I could surmise from this is that he's interested in me (he's gay). However several months ago he said he wanted to just be friends, so I am quite doubtful.
So, what I want to ask everyone is, with those whom you feel a genuine deeper connection with, what is it about them that causes you to feel this way. Please explain in as much detail as possible the reasons behind this, how long it took for it to build up, and how this is maintained. Additionally, is this feeling mutual. Assuming it is, what is it about yourself that the other person feels connected to you with. I mean this in the context of any sort of relationship (friendship, relationship, married, etc.).
Thanks!
What spurred this, is that a friend of mine (who I don't feel too much closeness to), texted me and said "miss you buddy". This truly caught me off guard. When I have been around him (and this guy in particular) my behavior has been quite languid, pensive, and almost depressive. Where as he is quite energetic, bouncy, and care-free (in many respects the opposite of me). I am quite good at figuring out the minds of others, and in this case I actually can't figure it out with him. The only reason I could surmise from this is that he's interested in me (he's gay). However several months ago he said he wanted to just be friends, so I am quite doubtful.
So, what I want to ask everyone is, with those whom you feel a genuine deeper connection with, what is it about them that causes you to feel this way. Please explain in as much detail as possible the reasons behind this, how long it took for it to build up, and how this is maintained. Additionally, is this feeling mutual. Assuming it is, what is it about yourself that the other person feels connected to you with. I mean this in the context of any sort of relationship (friendship, relationship, married, etc.).
Thanks!