How Do People Know You Are Gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    Sense alot of you guys express that you are on the more masculine side of being gay, how do people know you are gay.

    I mean for dating purposes that is. It has to be hard to find a date with a guy if people mistake you for being straight right? Also do you do the same thing?

    I have some feminine interest(clothes, certain shows, music,) but I do not necessarily act feminine...

    I can imagine it may be hard to meet other gay guys, if people don't know you are gay. Especially when the number or gay people is very low than straight people and if you are like me and do not do the club and bar scene.


    I was thinking of buying a little pride bracelet or rainbow bracelet or something just so people will know, but I won't wear it everywhere, because of the type of State and place I live, but when I am out I think that would be a good idea.

    I would like to know a way besides having to always state . "Im gay"

    What do you do to let other potential guys know you are gay?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 4:43 AM GMT
    A personalized license plate usually gets the point across. icon_biggrin.gif

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 4:51 AM GMT
    LMAO
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 6:51 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk said36470887_250x250_Front_padToSquare-true.
    I want that one! icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 11, 2012 11:52 AM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA saidWhat do you do to let other potential guys know you are gay?

    When I was single I'd wear discreet gay symbols. Which in the 1990s were mostly small rainbows, since the straights in many parts of the US didn't know what it meant yet. A symbol many gays use today is the blue & yellow equals sign, which is on our car now and some of our shirts and accessories, since we're members of HRC.

    But not on my car or motorcycle in the '90s because I was concerned about vandalism. Until one winter day on a college campus I hastily grabbed the wrong shirt, embroidered with "Gay Men's Chorus of Houston" in rainbow letters. After class, where my outer jacket had come off, a timid girl thanked me for my courage, that made her feel safer as a lesbian. Courage? The shirt was a mistake.

    But it made me realize such advertising isn't just about me, but also about sending out a lifeline to frightened gays. And believe me, they still exist in much of the US, even if not in a gay mecca like Wilton Manors. And so thereafter I did put gay markers on my vehicles, to be seen more widely, and fortunately none were ever vandalized.

    But closer to topic, I also went to gay bars, one of their obvious purposes being to simplify the cruising, and reduce the risk factor. Inside I knew most of the men were gay, and they knew that I was, too. And I joined, and still belong to, various gay organizations, using the concept of "gay by association."

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  • brickboy1966

    Posts: 359

    Apr 11, 2012 12:05 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    AMoonHawk said36470887_250x250_Front_padToSquare-true.
    I want that one! icon_lol.gif






    I want it too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 12:07 PM GMT
    I consider myself pretty OUT there in my dress and mannerisms yet I was asked recently in the elevator of my condo if I was single and would like to meet a nice single Jewish girl that was visiting.

    PS I was wearing a wedding ring, was in a sleeveless cut off t shirt, and carrying a gay bar club rag with a half naked man on the cover.

    I politely said I was married to a wonderful guy.

    thank god it was a short elevator ride for me
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    Apr 11, 2012 1:02 PM GMT
    Bigsmiles saidI consider myself pretty OUT there in my dress and mannerisms yet I was asked recently in the elevator of my condo if I was single and would like to meet a nice single Jewish girl that was visiting.

    PS I was wearing a wedding ring, was in a sleeveless cut off t shirt, and carrying a gay bar club rag with a half naked man on the cover.

    I politely said I was married to a wonderful guy.

    thank god it was a short elevator ride for me.

    Some straights can be incredibly clueless, though today the rainbow cat is pretty much finally out of the bag.

    One incident happened in 2002 when my late partner & I went to a gardening center to get a rainbow windsock for our house. The proverbial little old lady salesperson apologized that they were all out, but more were coming.

    "I don't know why, but it's our most popular pattern, we can't keep them in stock. I guess people like rainbows." We assured her it was our own favorite, too, and ordered one. And we were talking freely about "our house" in front of her, 2 men picking out a windsock together for their shared place.

    And I've told many times here about the hotel desk clerk who thought my partner's rainbow wedding band was a birthstone ring, congratulating him on having at least 6 children, all born in different months. Then she spied mine, and happily gushed: "And you have 6 kids, too!" And even our reservations for a single-bed room apparently didn't provide a hint to her as we checked in.

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 1:05 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    AMoonHawk said36470887_250x250_Front_padToSquare-true.
    I want that one! icon_lol.gif
    ME TOO!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 1:09 PM GMT
    Most people just seem to know right away when I interact with them. I guess I lean on the more feminine side?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 1:17 PM GMT
    If it's a man, he catches me checking out his butt.
    If it's a woman, she realizes I'm actually making eye contact and not staring at her boobs.

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 2:28 PM GMT
    If its man he wont know, If He is a gay men he would automatically knows.

    Girls cant tell always only when they start questioning me icon_biggrin.gif
    Otherwise i've been call view as a good boy....just like him below LOL!


    probably I just need a sticker like you guys!
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    Apr 11, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    JamieJfromtheA saidSense alot of you guys express that you are on the more masculine side of being gay, how do people know you are gay.



    a) I told them

    b) I was in a gay place (like Ikea)

    c) I was standing next to Ms. Thang.

    d) I waved my hands in the air like I just don't care

    ;-)

  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Apr 11, 2012 2:47 PM GMT
    If I tell them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 2:53 PM GMT
    People just look at me and can usually tell.

    I think it's because i'm sort of pretty looking so I fit the stereotype more. Like in my new job before I even told the group I liked guys they were already saying things like 'hey beautiful'.

    I also think I give off some sort of aura because I don't dress overtly 'gay'. I'm pretty conservative with what I wear.
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    Apr 11, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    Because I like to have sex with men.

    That's usually the first clue.
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    Apr 11, 2012 2:54 PM GMT
    If I'm at the gym or in Whole Foods and interested I go over and start an innocuous conversation. You can usually tell pretty quickly if they are bothered (straight, taken, not interested in you - all the same) or if they want to hear more.

    On long elevator rides I have now taken to issuing a compliment and seeing if I get punched or not. ("Nice watch" or something ... not "Nice ass")

    With the exception of Grindr, I would prefer to only out myself to someone I am interested in for the purposes of dating, not as a general "hayyyyyyy look at meeeee!!!!"

    Even on tumblr I don't expressly state it in my FAQ. But it can be inferred from some of the things I post.

    Someone is probably going to want to shoot me for saying this to the OP but: you are much more than "gay" so work on developing your gestalt image and presence. At the end of the day be the amazing painter who happens to like men, or the accountant who likes dudes, or whatever. Put the rest of you first - unless you are going to make a career out of liking men (porn star, Rick Santorum, Tyler Oakley, Harvey Milk) - then you are going to rely on the rest of you to get through life a lot more than your orientation.

    And also remember: 1 in 10 at best. Those are not good odds. That is something I frequently forget and have to constantly remind myself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    I have never been hit on just going about my normal life...

    If some rando out in public knows I'm gay, it's because they saw me 1) at a gay bar or 2) making out with a guy.
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    Apr 11, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    spaghettimonster saidSomeone is probably going to want to shoot me for saying this to the OP but: you are much more than "gay" so work on developing your gestalt image and presence. At the end of the day be the amazing painter who happens to like men, or the accountant who likes dudes, or whatever. Put the rest of you first - unless you are going to make a career out of liking men (porn star, Rick Santorum, Tyler Oakley, Harvey Milk) - then you are going to rely on the rest of you to get through life a lot more than your orientation.

    Actually I agree with the total image thing, even though I'm an overt supporter of gays. I stress the gay aspects here because this is a gay site. If it were a car site I'd stress cars and say little or nothing about gay issues.

    Plus so many of our questions asked here are about the place of gays in the world, how to cope, how to thrive. Which is really what the OP is asking.

    But I agree, a person needs to be interesting and multi-dimentional in their daily life. Here on this site it's one thing to be uber gay, but that's not the sole key to success for most guys in the real world.
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    Apr 11, 2012 3:04 PM GMT
    har19 saidIf its man he wont know, If He is a gay men he would automatically knows.

    Girls cant tell always only when they start questioning me icon_biggrin.gif
    Otherwise i've been call view as a good boy....just like him below LOL!


    probably I just need a sticker like you guys!


    Ha Goodness Gracious Me is fucking hilarious ! Good taste in comedy you have there Harry !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 11, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    They don't unless I tell them. Even at gay clubs previously I have gotten are you straight?
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    Apr 11, 2012 3:53 PM GMT
    whateveryo said
    har19 said............
    probably I just need a sticker like you guys!

    Ha Goodness Gracious Me is fucking hilarious ! Good taste in comedy you have there Harry !

    hahaaa tell me about it! icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 11, 2012 4:03 PM GMT
    i can we have a gay radar... and you fell that the other person is gay too. i just started to work in a cars factory, so normally they all straight. NO i just met to gay guys and we didn't spoke about our sexual preferences... we can know each other....
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    Apr 11, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    I don't know how people would actually know I'm gay. So many years of trying to please my parents have left me with a very different personality. But I know that people THINK they know I'm gay because I drive a Miata (bullshit). Now, if the CD player worked and I was listening to Cher, Gaga and Katy Perry nonstop with the top down in said miata (instead of Golden Oldies radio station) then maybe...
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    Apr 11, 2012 5:27 PM GMT
    I carry a rainbow flag.