Rejected

  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Apr 12, 2012 1:10 AM GMT
    This is a rant.

    Nutshell: Dude sent me a message online being very direct, asked if I would like to go out on date and to forgive his forwardness. I accepted. We go out on the date on Monday, it turns out I really liked him. First dude I've been interested in after going out on a formal date in two years. Fast forward two days: he says he's not interested.

    I appreciate how direct he was and respect that he told me he did not think I was a good fit for him. I have been on the other side of that scenario before. It is a fact of life but does not change the fact that being rejected sucks.

    Even though you know it is not rational, situations like these have their way of gnawing at your self-esteem.

    Studinprogress = sad panda today.
  • davidsticky69

    Posts: 412

    Apr 12, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    This is just one of the potholes in life that you will eventually, either learn to dodge, or stumble upon and move on icon_biggrin.gif

    In this rainbow colored gay world, trust me there are more than enough d*cks to go around icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 3:36 AM GMT
    How about this visual? That we're like pieces in a giant jigsaw, and as a bonus more than one of us fits another.

    Sometimes it seems the two fit until you try.

    You found out sooner than later, whew!

    Btw, I think he's probably a nice fellow if you picked him, but then there's that romantic fit thing (jigsaw analogy).

    icon_wink.gif
    -Doug

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    Apr 12, 2012 4:21 AM GMT
    It happens to everyone, just gather yourself together, the storm will pass and brighter days are ahead!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 12, 2012 4:27 AM GMT
    Dude, you're young and you're handsome.

    If the guy is going to flake that early, he did you a favor.

    Gym motivation. Can't get enough sometimes.


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    Apr 12, 2012 4:41 AM GMT
    at least someone asked you out on a date
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    Apr 12, 2012 4:43 AM GMT
    JPtheBITCH saidWhen this happened to me, years ago, I always wished that the other person would give me some idea of why. They never did.


    Story of my life right now...icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 4:44 AM GMT
    It happens. How we deal with it is what separates the whinging boys from the mature men. I like to set up camp in between the two icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 4:47 AM GMT
    benz72 saidat least someone asked you out on a date


    Ditto
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    Apr 12, 2012 4:53 AM GMT
    musique1990 said
    JPtheBITCH saidWhen this happened to me, years ago, I always wished that the other person would give me some idea of why. They never did.


    Story of my life right now...icon_cry.gif


    Happens to me countless times
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    Apr 12, 2012 4:54 AM GMT
    Aww, I'm sorry. That shit hurts like hell and there's no getting around it. Just listen to words of encouragement from your friends and remember who you are inside.
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    Apr 12, 2012 4:55 AM GMT
    sometimes you should let things go. iv been hurt when he said he is not interested.. just be yourself the world not going to stop on him anyways this earth filled with god beauty.

    cheers!icon_cool.gificon_cool.gif
  • NerdLifter

    Posts: 1509

    Apr 12, 2012 4:55 AM GMT
    PE_Teacher saidJust be happy he did not string you along and also have a tremendous amount of respect for him that he is HONEST and forthcoming. I would take his direct style any day over the assholes that play games!

    Aye, hence why I respect him for telling me. Being rejected is sucky, but being told directly is the best of a bad dating scenario. Plus, he was a gentleman about it, so some of the pain is alleviated, and kudos to him.
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    Apr 12, 2012 5:00 AM GMT
    Studinprogress said
    PE_Teacher saidJust be happy he did not string you along and also have a tremendous amount of respect for him that he is HONEST and forthcoming. I would take his direct style any day over the assholes that play games!

    Aye, hence why I respect him for telling me. Being rejected is sucky, but being told directly is the best of a bad dating scenario. Plus, he was a gentleman about it, so some of the pain is alleviated, and kudos to him.



    Okay, now for the important part....what's his number? icon_eek.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    benz72 said
    musique1990 said
    JPtheBITCH saidWhen this happened to me, years ago, I always wished that the other person would give me some idea of why. They never did.


    Story of my life right now...icon_cry.gif


    Happens to me countless times


    I would never do that to you, or anyone for that matter. And you're cute! Whats wrong with these guys?

    The thing I hate the most is months later when they message me or call to "try again" or whatever. I get so mad haha I can't stand it. I digress...icon_neutral.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 5:04 AM GMT
    sucks to be rejected, but he was direct and honest - not an easy thing in this day and age. most people string you along cuz they don't want to sound like the bad guy, but then they keep promising to call and they don't, or they keep saying how much they like/respect you, but they treat you differently. its a blessing in disguise. you were spared the namby-pamby wishy-washy way of breaking up... the silent treatment, skirting contact, empty promises, etc.
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    Apr 12, 2012 5:05 AM GMT
    you're not alone, man - we've all been there. You're lucky he was direct - that's actually nice of him
    I have never been rejected nicely like that... I seem to pick guys that just disappear icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 5:25 AM GMT
    musique1990 said
    benz72 said
    musique1990 said
    JPtheBITCH saidWhen this happened to me, years ago, I always wished that the other person would give me some idea of why. They never did.


    Story of my life right now...icon_cry.gif


    Happens to me countless times


    I would never do that to you, or anyone for that matter. And you're cute! Whats wrong with these guys?

    The thing I hate the most is months later when they message me or call to "try again" or whatever. I get so mad haha I can't stand it. I digress...icon_neutral.gif


    at least they contact you again lol but anyway
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    Apr 12, 2012 8:16 AM GMT
    This is why sexing on the first date is so important. That way if you get rejected later, you can at least say "it was fun while it lasted." icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 10:59 AM GMT
    benz72 said
    musique1990 said
    benz72 said
    musique1990 said
    JPtheBITCH saidWhen this happened to me, years ago, I always wished that the other person would give me some idea of why. They never did.


    Story of my life right now...icon_cry.gif


    Happens to me countless times


    I would never do that to you, or anyone for that matter. And you're cute! Whats wrong with these guys?

    The thing I hate the most is months later when they message me or call to "try again" or whatever. I get so mad haha I can't stand it. I digress...icon_neutral.gif


    at least they contact you again lol but anyway


    At that point I just want to strangle them. I don't take them back and typically I actually forget who they are. Several times my mind went blank when they told me who they were. I bet they were pissed. lol
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:10 AM GMT
    Pfffft. It only gnaws at your self-esteem if you let it. Plenty of fish in sea.

    "Oh? You're not interested in me? Ok then. No worries and peace out".

    The world keeps turning and it brings you another day closer to other opportunities. Rejection isn't even worth sweating over when you know you still have options.

    Personally, I think any time someone rejects you they are doing you a favor because it's better for them to just be blunt and honest upfront then to string you along and build you up for an ill let down. Plus they free you up to pursue some else.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:18 AM GMT
    I think fundamentally we're really hard on ourselves in these situations, and we question our judgment. You thought there was something potentially there and he didn't - who's to say he's right and you're wrong in that assessment?

    In the end you have to let it go and commend yourself for putting yourself out there a little after two years. Keep trying - your luck will change.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:22 AM GMT
    +++ 1 to you for not getting all pissy and realizing not everyone is a good fit for each other. Shows a level of maturity and self esteem that many lack.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:24 AM GMT
    Trollileo, that pic made my day...hilarious!! And so my conscious is clean, I saved it for future use!! icon_twisted.gif

    OP, hopefully, you put on the happy panda face, dust yourself off, and try again...you can dust it off and try again... (cue music to accompany lyrics).
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:50 AM GMT
    JPtheBITCH saidWhen this happened to me, years ago, I always wished that the other person would give me some idea of why. They never did.

    In many cases it's best not to know why in every excruciating detail.
    "Not a match" should be enough to do the job.
    Besides, after a single date there's not enough data for a really thorough character assassination.