Why are guys (in general) such ass*****?

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    Apr 12, 2012 4:41 AM GMT
    You know, I've dated many many frogs...and they never start off like frogs.
    They start off like the most amazing men in the world, and then what?
    They turn to stupid jerks who only have one motive in the first place....
    Why are guys like this? I swear I must not be a real guy because I don't understand guys at all. I feel like an alien trying to learn the human species or something.

    I've dated practically every ethnic group and background, and its always the same story. Where are the good gay men at? Those men you see in movies and documentaries? Am I not capable of finding one? Am I cursed to be single and alone for the rest of my life??

    You know, I am the guy you marry. I'm the guy you bring home to mom and dad. I'm that faithful, loving, compassionate, handsome guy you dream about. Maybe I'm crazy or something, but its just getting ridiculous.

    I have a friend who's single and almost 30 and I don't think I can deal with this for another 8 years (I'll be 22 this year)...

    I need some motivation or something because I can't take this much longer...icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 10:56 AM GMT
    Well thanks for all the feedback guys. You've been a great help...how disappointing
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:08 AM GMT
    Just don't think of dating (and finding somebody) as the be-all and end-all of your life; otherwise, you are going to be consistently disappointed.

    Dating someone, even a frog, can be a memorable and fun experience if you never assume him to be the "most amazing" man in the world, which doesn't really make sense anyway because you can't really tell when you don't even know him that well.


    I guess I don't have a road map which you can use to find the perfect guy; but even a crappy date can be an opportunity to know someone new (and a potential joke at a dinner party sometime in the future).

    At least be grateful for the chance to experience all this, which you can look back on and laugh about when you are 30. At least you are confident enough to describe yourself as "faithful, loving, compassionate, handsome." Not a lot of people can do that.

    I'm turning 27 soon and have never been in a relationship with anyone; and men still avoid me as if I were the plague. So things can be worse. Is that motivation enough for you?
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:12 AM GMT
    camomq saidJust don't think of dating (and finding somebody) as the be-all and end-all of your life; otherwise, you are going to be consistently disappointed.

    Dating someone, even a frog, can be a memorable and fun experience if you never assume him to be the "most amazing" man in the world, which doesn't really make sense anyway because you can't really tell when you don't even know him that well.



    I guess I don't have a road map which you can use to find the perfect guy; but even a crappy date can be an opportunity to know someone new (and a potential joke at a dinner party sometime in the future).


    I don't know, I just feel like a big part of my life is about sharing my life and world with someone. I have a void that is only filled when I'm with a guy. Its just finding a good one and not some sleaze-bag that has me mentally and emotionally drained.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:12 AM GMT
    Gay love is hard. Just the other day I was thinking to myself, maybe the religious hounds are right, gay relationships aren't natural. I haven't found a fulfilling one yet, and the few times I have, I fuck it up with my insecurities piled on from the previous relationship. Stop looking, it'll come along when you least expect it.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:15 AM GMT
    fhaynie81 saidGay love is hard. Just the other day I was thinking to myself, maybe the religious hounds are right, gay relationships aren't natural. I haven't found a fulfilling one yet, and the few times I have, I fuck it up with my insecurities piled on from the previous relationship. Stop looking, it'll come along when you least expect it.


    I just don't want to be some old single gay like I've seen and heard about. And I don't want to wait forever to find someone. Why can't we have what straight people seem to have? They all get married in the 20's and stuff...well not all but you get what I mean. :/
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:22 AM GMT
    I know I feel ya! At least your secure in who you are. I just fell in love with the greatest guy EVER! And totally fucked it up by being insecure/attention whore i haven't loved anyone this hard in years. Now I'm left broken. Don't rush it! Rushing will cause you to be more vurnable to accept things about a guy you wouldn't normally accept.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:25 AM GMT
    When you're comfortable with yourself (instead of trying to find what's missing or filling that "void"), you should then look for the Knight in Shining Armor.

    For some, it may take a lifetime to find him (I'm 36 and have come close but...that's another story). Give yourself time, have fun for now!


    (as for the being comfortable part, I mean when you feel like you don't need another to make you feel whole)
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    fhaynie81 saidI know I feel ya! At least your secure in who you are. I just fell in love with the greatest guy EVER! And totally fucked it up by being insecure/attention whore i haven't loved anyone this hard in years. Now I'm left broken. Don't rush it! Rushing will cause you to be more vurnable to accept things about a guy you wouldn't normally accept.


    That's cute, you think I'm that secure lol

    Well..in certain things I am and yes, I know what I want I suppose. But no, when it comes to dating and trying to figure all this s*** out, I am very insecure and I don't trust guys, even though I don't show it off the bat.

    I've been hurt too many times icon_neutral.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:28 AM GMT
    I did find him : ( hopefully we will.....idk fall back in line in the future. It sucks to love someone that you know doesn't feel the same way.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:29 AM GMT
    wade_in_BC saidWhen you're comfortable with yourself (instead of trying to find what's missing or filling that "void"), you should then look for the Knight in Shining Armor.

    For some, it may take a lifetime to find him (I'm 36 and have come close but...that's another story). Give yourself time, have fun for now!


    (as for the being comfortable part, I mean when you feel like you don't need another to make you feel whole)


    I hear you...But I feel like I'm "past" the fun stages. I don't feel like a typical 21 year old. My closest friends are all over 25, I date older guys, and I really feel like I'm 30 lol

    Guys my age are so unstable emotionally and mentally. But I'm not like them at all. ughicon_rolleyes.gif

    But as you can see...the older guys haven't been angels either so...
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:31 AM GMT
    fhaynie81 saidI did find him : ( hopefully we will.....idk fall back in line in the future. It sucks to love someone that you know doesn't feel the same way.


    I've been there once..but I think I was partly in love/partly just lonely. I feel like I have the worst luck with guys.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:32 AM GMT
    Becareful older guys are much more manipulative and you won't see it til it's too late. I only date older guys as well, mostly found them to be emotionally detached.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:36 AM GMT
    fhaynie81 saidBecareful older guys are much more manipulative and you won't see it til it's too late. I only date older guys as well, mostly found them to be emotionally detached.


    That's where this whole B****fit is coming from. The last two (older) guys I've tried to talk to...they never get very far because I'm quick to see whats really going on. But it PISSES me off that genuine guys just aren't out there.

    A part of me just wants to be a dirty slut and forget about true monogamous relationships, but I know it will only hurt worse. I just can't be a slut icon_sad.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:42 AM GMT
    I haven't slept with anyone in two years just because I want that emotional bond first!! Sluttyness is gross and dangerous. I'm not soo insecure to resort to that yuck!
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:45 AM GMT
    fhaynie81 saidI haven't slept with anyone in two years just because I want that emotional bond first!! Sluttyness is gross and dangerous. I'm not soo insecure to resort to that yuck!


    There was a point that I mentally attempted to become a slut, but no one was available! lol There was no one to be a slut with. Can you believe it? I mean, I thought I was somewhat attractive geezzz.

    Okay, no one to my physical liking, but I don't think I'm picky. lol
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:50 AM GMT
    musique1990 said
    wade_in_BC saidWhen you're comfortable with yourself (instead of trying to find what's missing or filling that "void"), you should then look for the Knight in Shining Armor.

    For some, it may take a lifetime to find him (I'm 36 and have come close but...that's another story). Give yourself time, have fun for now!


    (as for the being comfortable part, I mean when you feel like you don't need another to make you feel whole)


    I hear you...But I feel like I'm "past" the fun stages. I don't feel like a typical 21 year old. My closest friends are all over 25, I date older guys, and I really feel like I'm 30 lol

    Guys my age are so unstable emotionally and mentally. But I'm not like them at all. ughicon_rolleyes.gif

    But as you can see...the older guys haven't been angels either so...


    Well, Some of my friends (and family) have gotten attached when they were young, and regret doing so. I'm not saying that will happen to you, so I would suggest to just keep looking. You're probably going to get frustrated either way. There are those lucky in love, and then there are those that have to work at it.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:50 AM GMT
    I admit I'm picky... I'm ONLY into the "gay straight man" type. I'm not down at all with any kind of feminity or gay card holders. We like what we like. Probaly why I'm single : ) I tried dating a feminine guy, made me want to vomit everytime we hung out but at least I tried it.
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:51 AM GMT
    musique1990 said
    fhaynie81 saidI haven't slept with anyone in two years just because I want that emotional bond first!! Sluttyness is gross and dangerous. I'm not soo insecure to resort to that yuck!


    There was a point that I mentally attempted to become a slut, but no one was available! lol There was no one to be a slut with. Can you believe it? I mean, I thought I was somewhat attractive geezzz.

    Okay, no one to my physical liking, but I don't think I'm picky. lol


    You are good looking. icon_smile.gif And maybe you're just a tad bit picky...
    I feel like I'm in the same boat. I'd rather wait and go for the cuter ones than to settle for less or the same. lol
    It might be pointless, but I have better things to busy myself with anyways. icon_smile.gif
    Don't let the feeling of being single consume you. It's OK to be single. You don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:54 AM GMT
    fhaynie81 saidI admit I'm picky... I'm ONLY into the "gay straight man" type. I'm not down at all with any kind of feminity or gay card holders. We like what we like. Probaly why I'm single : ) I tried dating a feminine guy, made me want to vomit everytime we hung out but at least I tried it.


    Well what qualifies as feminine? Like a sassy queen type or someone with a little more sugar then you'd prefer?

    These are all stereotypical concepts here btw, I really don't think like this lol
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    Apr 12, 2012 11:56 AM GMT
    ry77 said
    musique1990 said
    fhaynie81 saidI haven't slept with anyone in two years just because I want that emotional bond first!! Sluttyness is gross and dangerous. I'm not soo insecure to resort to that yuck!


    There was a point that I mentally attempted to become a slut, but no one was available! lol There was no one to be a slut with. Can you believe it? I mean, I thought I was somewhat attractive geezzz.

    Okay, no one to my physical liking, but I don't think I'm picky. lol


    You are good looking. icon_smile.gif And maybe you're just a tad bit picky...
    I feel like I'm in the same boat. I'd rather wait and go for the cuter ones than to settle for less or the same. lol
    It might be pointless, but I have better things to busy myself with anyways. icon_smile.gif


    Aww thanks, you're cute yourself.

    I don't think I'm that picky to be honest. I date a variety of guys from all over the place. Even the nerdy cute guy with glasses. My friends sometimes say I have weird tastes, but I see beauty in many forms. I should have been bisexual, then I could have more options for dating. :/
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    Apr 12, 2012 12:00 PM GMT
    musique1990 saidYou know, I've dated many many frogs...and they never start off like frogs.
    They start off like the most amazing men in the world, and then what?
    They turn to stupid jerks who only have one motive in the first place....
    Why are guys like this? I swear I must not be a real guy because I don't understand guys at all. I feel like an alien trying to learn the human species or something.

    I've dated practically every ethnic group and background, and its always the same story. Where are the good gay men at? Those men you see in movies and documentaries? Am I not capable of finding one? Am I cursed to be single and alone for the rest of my life??

    You know, I am the guy you marry. I'm the guy you bring home to mom and dad. I'm that faithful, loving, compassionate, handsome guy you dream about. Maybe I'm crazy or something, but its just getting ridiculous.

    I have a friend who's single and almost 30 and I don't think I can deal with this for another 8 years (I'll be 22 this year)...

    I need some motivation or something because I can't take this much longer...icon_cry.gif


    Yes. I know the feeling. I have met plenty of these jerks. icon_sad.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 12:04 PM GMT
    There needs to be a dating manual for gays, ALL the rules and conduct for relationships and such. And I think I need to write it lol
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    Apr 12, 2012 12:10 PM GMT
    musique1990 saidThere needs to be a dating manual for gays, ALL the rules and conduct for relationships and such. And I think I need to write it lol


    Yeah that sounds like a good idea!

    Make sure you include the rule:

    "it is bad manners to keep sitting there while on a date, texting someone on your mobile, or keeping it turned on"

    I turn my Mobile OFF, when Im out or TRYING to date someone. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 12, 2012 12:13 PM GMT
    lol ditto