YOU'RE NOT A FAN OF YOUR BEST BUD'S BF. WHAT DO U DO?

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    Apr 12, 2012 10:34 PM GMT
    What would you do if your closest friend ends up dating a guy you can't stand? Let's just say hypothetically, his bf says really stupid things and judges a lot (calling people ugly etc.). But has also negatively influenced your friend, and now he's acting a lot like his bf.

    Do you:
    A) Say something and risk losing a friend
    B) Keep your mouth shut and hope your friend wakes up
    C) Cut him off
    D) Start hanging out with your imaginary friend Fred more



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    Apr 12, 2012 10:38 PM GMT
    A combo of B and C.


    Edit: I have to give my friends the benefit of a doubt, and believe they're smart enough (in time) to see their mistake.
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    Apr 12, 2012 10:38 PM GMT
    u just deal with it brah....

    if u say something to ur friend about his BF, he's gonna think ur jealous, or an asshole, or both....

    dont say anuthing. Try and hang out with ur friend when u know the bf won't be around. Also, u can just wait for them to break up. I mean u know deep down, it's prob not gonna last anyway, so just wait it out.
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    Apr 12, 2012 10:52 PM GMT
    wonofakind saidWhat would you do if your closest friend ends up dating a guy you can't stand? Let's just say hypothetically, his bf says really stupid things and judges a lot (calling people ugly etc.). But has also negatively influenced your friend, and now he's acting a lot like his bf.

    Do you:
    A) Say something and risk losing a friend
    B) Keep your mouth shut and hope your friend wakes up
    C) Cut him off
    D) Start hanging out with your imaginary friend Fred more





    Ooooh multiple choice, I'm good at these. B, final answer. If he is really a close friend give it more time. Althoooough, Fred does sound intriguing...
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    Apr 12, 2012 10:53 PM GMT
    Been in this situation many times with the same friend, a serial monogamist. he always has the same type of guy as his new BF. They tend to be quite drippy and convinced that they are in for the long haul. The usual relationships he has last 6 months, before he gets bored with them. My group of friends have learnt just to sit there and listen to the new BF's crap and keep our mouths shut.
    Afterwards when he breaks up with them he gets quite shitty with us for not saying anything, yet when some of us have in the past it caused untold amounts of trouble
    Grin and bare it
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    Apr 12, 2012 10:55 PM GMT
    B.

    Shut up and wait. It is not likely it is going to last anyway. Unless your friend is being introduced to drugs or abused by this boyfriend or something similar, then you mind your own business.
  • savman69

    Posts: 16

    Apr 12, 2012 11:09 PM GMT
    I go with A, I had something like this and I told my friend how I feel we talk and they realize what was up
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    Apr 13, 2012 12:14 AM GMT
    I had a situation like this once, except the offending (and offensive) person was a girl. A close straight friend's gf. What an opportunist she was. And yes, she had big tits and put out in ways my friend had never seen. The opportunist also "forgot" to use the pill and got herself pregnant. My friend's life was pretty much fucked. I could see this shit coming way ahead of time and I chose Letter A.........I opened my mouth and tried to tell my friend early on what I thought of the opportunist. Well, guess what? He had to marry her anyway - and I'm the one who lost a friend. I should have just shut up and waited for him to realize the situation for himself.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Apr 13, 2012 12:15 AM GMT
    B
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    Apr 13, 2012 12:17 AM GMT
    C
  • BostonHopeful

    Posts: 23

    Apr 13, 2012 12:26 AM GMT
    My opinion is that you have no room to judge. You are not perfect. You make take drugs, have sex with strangers, whatever it is, no one is perfect. Unless your bff is hurting someone, get over it. If you can't get over it, then you need to take yourself out of the situation. Possibly see your friend less or don't rely on them as much.
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    Apr 13, 2012 12:29 AM GMT
    B) Keep my mouth shut.

    Unless the bf is putting someone's life in jeopardy, then it's your friend's mistake to make.
    If you don't like the bf and don't like how your friend is around his bf, just limit your time around them.
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    Apr 13, 2012 12:32 AM GMT
    My Best friend and I don't filter anything. If I have something to tell him or I am concerned I let him know. And he does the same for me. If you genuinely have his best interest and not yours in mind I see no reason to hide your concerns. That's why we have a best friend. Someone we can talk with and share with that wont judge or take offense.
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    Apr 13, 2012 12:33 AM GMT
    Say exactly whats on your mind. I did that with my best friend, when his annoying douchey bf comes over i just ignore him. You dont have to like everyone- as long as you gave him a fair chance.
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    Apr 13, 2012 12:42 AM GMT
    A. And I have done it before and would do it again. That is why I am his bestie. He trusts me to tell him the truth when he won't or refuses to see it and we are STILL friends now. And I have done the reverse as well. If he was fucking up a good thing, I told him that too.
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    Apr 13, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    I start with A, once. Then transition to B and D.
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    Apr 13, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    A
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    Apr 13, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    I mean, if it's your best bud then why not be honest?

    My best friend and I are completely blunt and truthful all the time even if it's bit harsh.

  • Apr 13, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    a b c d
    you see it in guy girl relationships alot.
    could be similar..
    hes infatuated by him and Will no doubt think you commenting on his friend as like your attacking him and back his friend up and get annoyed with you.

    get worried when his friend tells your best bud to delete all his friends and doesnt let him hang out with other people.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 13, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    Pretty tough question. I'd hope I could say something, but I'd probably want to stay out of it unless it got really difficult.....I know I'd end up saying something.
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    Apr 13, 2012 2:23 AM GMT
    E) Dig a pit-trap with rapid, starving wolverines waiting at the bottom. Trick both into falling into it.

    Et voilĂ , problem solved! icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 13, 2012 2:36 AM GMT
    wonofakind saidWhat would you do if your closest friend ends up dating a guy you can't stand? Let's just say hypothetically, his bf says really stupid things and judges a lot (calling people ugly etc.). But has also negatively influenced your friend, and now he's acting a lot like his bf.

    Do you:
    A) Say something and risk losing a friend
    B) Keep your mouth shut and hope your friend wakes up
    C) Cut him off
    D) Start hanging out with your imaginary friend Fred more


    Black, White and Gray... but where is the color in your thinking?
    I would do them all! My version:
    A) Tell your friend that you love that he is happy, and you're happy for him, but you just need time to warm up to his new guy... keep the brotherhood in tact.
    B) Next, hang out with your friend, BAU, watching for cracks and letting them connect... remember just cause people are dating, doesn't always mean its going to last. If this guy does...
    C) Cut him off, bit by bit without being a dick. Just remember he's your buddy and you must honest, "bro's before hoes"; even if he doesn't.
    D) Make new friends or start dating yourself. Maybe he'll start on A) when he realizes he misses your friendship. Save the douchebaggery and talk to your friend again.

    This was made based on your choices. Do as you please.
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    Apr 13, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidB and D ... once your best bud gets a bf you will soon be out of the picture anyway .... what you are feeling is jealously ... better make your move if you don't want to loose him for good


    Ummm....I'm not the jealous type. He's had a bf before while I was single. It didn't bother me. This time it's different cuz this dude is a douche.
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    Apr 13, 2012 2:49 AM GMT
    Yehoshua_B5917 said
    wonofakind saidWhat would you do if your closest friend ends up dating a guy you can't stand? Let's just say hypothetically, his bf says really stupid things and judges a lot (calling people ugly etc.). But has also negatively influenced your friend, and now he's acting a lot like his bf.

    Do you:
    A) Say something and risk losing a friend
    B) Keep your mouth shut and hope your friend wakes up
    C) Cut him off
    D) Start hanging out with your imaginary friend Fred more


    Black, White and Gray... but where is the color in your thinking?
    I would do them all! My version:
    A) Tell your friend that you love that he is happy, and you're happy for him, but you just need time to warm up to his new guy... keep the brotherhood in tact.
    B) Next, hang out with your friend, BAU, watching for cracks and letting them connect... remember just cause people are dating, doesn't always mean its going to last. If this guy does...
    C) Cut him off, bit by bit without being a dick. Just remember he's your buddy and you must honest, "bro's before hoes"; even if he doesn't.
    D) Make new friends or start dating yourself. Maybe he'll start on A) when he realizes he misses your friendship. Save the douchebaggery and talk to your friend again.

    This was made based on your choices. Do as you please.


    I already did A) a long time ago.
    B) I can't hang out with him cuz he and his bf are attached at the hip. I've asked to spend time alone with him and he won't even do that.
    C) I already did that sorta lol. And it's funny...cuz he used to ALWAYS tell me "bros before hoes". I kept my end of the bargain, he hasn't. I mean, when I have a bf, that doesn't change the way I am, especially with friends.
    D) Already started doing that icon_smile.gif

    Thx for the advice.
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    Apr 13, 2012 2:49 AM GMT
    You unlock your private pics for me, that's what.