Is there a way to genocide the fake people in this world? :) Please?

  • MCVA

    Posts: 69

    Apr 13, 2012 3:22 AM GMT
    1/ Yes I made genocide into a verb.

    2/ Just got out of a 3 year relationship. During the 3 year period I met several people whom i saw several times a week, through my ex. They acted more than chummy and we were cool with each other. Now that the relationship has ended.. some are de-friending me on facebook.

    Did I miss the memo where this was Jr. High and you have to shun people just because a relationship ends? Is this really status quo with gays? I mean the age group being discussed is close to their 30s. I am just surprised and disappointed.

    At least this makes figuring out if they were good people in the first place.


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    Apr 13, 2012 3:41 AM GMT
    Ha. I know what you are going through, and I have to admit I have done the same. Just broke up with my bf and have done some "house cleaning" on my Facebook.

    I see it like this, the only reasons why I was friends with most of them is because they were friends with my ex-bf. Now that he is outta the picture, there is no need for me to keep them around. I know as adults we aren't supposed to choose sides like high schoolers, but thats in fact what ends up happening. I really have no desire to talk or hang out with a lot of them anyways. I'm sure they will just relay everything that happens back to my ex and I want as little contact with him or anything to do with him right now. It is not about being a "good" person. It's just me wanting to move on with my life without constant reminders of a person who I don't want in my future...

    So I guess if they think I'm "fake" then there is no love lost...5y4wna.gif

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    Apr 13, 2012 3:45 AM GMT
    Cologne84 said1/ Yes I made genocide into a verb.



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  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Apr 13, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    Poor choice of verbs, man.
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    Apr 13, 2012 3:52 AM GMT
    Friends of boyfriends/boyfriends of friends, in every culture, situation, time frame, when the relationships split those friendships or "friendships" are highly susceptible to disappearing. It will continue to happen during the rest of your life so just accept it.
  • MCVA

    Posts: 69

    Apr 13, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidHa. I know what you are going through, and I have to admit I have done the same. Just broke up with my bf and have done some "house cleaning" on my Facebook.

    I see it like this, the only reasons why I was friends with most of them is because they were friends with my ex-bf. Now that he is outta the picture, there is no need for me to keep them around. I know as adults we aren't supposed to choose sides like high schoolers, but thats in fact what ends up happening. I really have no desire to talk or hang out with a lot of them anyways. I'm sure they will just relay everything that happens back to my ex and I want as little contact with him or anything to do with him right now. It is not about being a "good" person. It's just me wanting to move on with my life without constant reminders of a person who I don't want in my future...
    />



    lol fair enough.. I just was taught not to burn bridges but you have good points. Especially the part about not really naturally existing within life without that connector. So why have them there at all? The ones in mention were people of "party associations" anyways. Not really my scene. I'll just stick to my kind icon_smile.gif
  • MCVA

    Posts: 69

    Apr 13, 2012 3:58 AM GMT
    Ariodante saidFriends of boyfriends/boyfriends of friends, in every culture, situation, time frame, when the relationships split those friendships or "friendships" are highly susceptible to disappearing. It will continue to happen during the rest of your life so just accept it.


    At least I made a few good friends out of the ordeal icon_smile.gif I'll be grateful for that.
  • MCVA

    Posts: 69

    Apr 13, 2012 3:59 AM GMT
    waccamatt saidPoor choice of verbs, man.


    Lighten up, I'm German. *coughs* icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 13, 2012 4:03 AM GMT
    Cologne84 said
    waccamatt saidPoor choice of verbs, man.


    Lighten up, I'm German. *coughs* icon_lol.gif



    I loooooooove German accents....

    basicinstinct.gif


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    Apr 13, 2012 4:06 AM GMT
    Cologne84 said
    jmusmc85 saidHa. I know what you are going through, and I have to admit I have done the same. Just broke up with my bf and have done some "house cleaning" on my Facebook.

    I see it like this, the only reasons why I was friends with most of them is because they were friends with my ex-bf. Now that he is outta the picture, there is no need for me to keep them around. I know as adults we aren't supposed to choose sides like high schoolers, but thats in fact what ends up happening. I really have no desire to talk or hang out with a lot of them anyways. I'm sure they will just relay everything that happens back to my ex and I want as little contact with him or anything to do with him right now. It is not about being a "good" person. It's just me wanting to move on with my life without constant reminders of a person who I don't want in my future...
    />



    lol fair enough.. I just was taught not to burn bridges but you have good points. Especially the part about not really naturally existing within life without that connector. So why have them there at all? The ones in mention were people of "party associations" anyways. Not really my scene. I'll just stick to my kind icon_smile.gif


    Yeah. Just don't take it too personally, even if it is kinda personal.That make sense? It's just I feel my relationship with these friends is almost "tainted" since I'm sure my ex has told them many things (true and untrue) about our relationship and why we broke up. And whatever our relationship was before it will be hard to go back to that place knowing that they have a loyality to my ex-bf and not me. But once again, there is no love lost. I have my friends who I will remain loyal to them.
  • MCVA

    Posts: 69

    Apr 13, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    HTML Dog logo

    =P Sorry I had to.
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    Apr 13, 2012 4:17 AM GMT
    Cologne84 saidloyalty.jpg


    L0T0f.gif
  • MCVA

    Posts: 69

    Apr 13, 2012 4:18 AM GMT


    L0T0f.gif



    haha Calm down I fixed it =)
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    Apr 13, 2012 4:20 AM GMT
    Have you ever thought that maybe....just maybe....those people who defriended you never really liked you in the first place? The endured a rapport with you out of respect for your ex.

    Now they don't have to endure you anymore and so .... poof! You are gone.
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    Apr 13, 2012 4:20 AM GMT
    Cologne84 said

    L0T0f.gif



    haha Calm down I fixed it =)


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  • MCVA

    Posts: 69

    Apr 13, 2012 4:31 AM GMT
    osakarob saidHave you ever thought that maybe....just maybe....those people who defriended you never really liked you in the first place? The endured a rapport with you out of respect for your ex.

    Now they don't have to endure you anymore and so .... poof! You are gone.




    lol wasn't that idea implied given the topic? icon_rolleyes.gif I was asking about people being fake.


    I would have preferred them to just be honest about their "dislike" for me from the beginning. Never mind the fact that they would hit me up to hang out "because they dont like me".

    Do straight guys have to deal with this crap? lol it almost seems like social tactics women would employ ...
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    Apr 13, 2012 4:35 AM GMT
    Cologne84 said...Did I miss the memo where this was Jr. High and you have to shun people just because a relationship ends? Is this really status quo with gays? I mean the age group being discussed is close to their 30s. I am just surprised and disappointed...


    Sometimes this happens, dude. If it does, then you're better off without.

    But no, not status quo per se; more often than not I find that real friends will stay associated with both exes.
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    Apr 13, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    You are naive if you think that everyone you interact with via your romantic partner is sincere in their appreciation or approval of you. That acknowledgement of civility is a simple social convention that all humans possess - across every culture. We all build up varying degrees of social capital with others. Some of it we earn by ourselves - by demonstrating our good natures, showing respectful helpfulness, and providing value to the others. In other words, the capital accrues because of shared experiences and quid pro quo utility.

    But the capital that you developed with those individuals wasn't earned by you. It was given to you by them out of their respect for your ex.
    When they are no longer constrained by the social convention of giving you capital you didn't earn, they quickly and efficiently let you go. It sends a very clear message.

    They may, one day, regret not staying in touch with you when some other situation arises where your social capital would have been valuable to them, but for now - your ties no longer bind.

    This has absolutely nothing to do with sexual preference - gay or straight. It is how we the species work.



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    Apr 13, 2012 5:12 AM GMT
    osakarob saidYou are naive if you think that everyone you interact with via your romantic partner is sincere in their appreciation or approval of you. That acknowledgement of civility is a simple social convention that all humans possess - across every culture. We all build up varying degrees of social capital with others. Some of it we earn by ourselves - by demonstrating our good natures, showing respectful helpfulness, and providing value to the others. In other words, the capital accrues because of shared experiences and quid pro quo utility.

    But the capital that you developed with those individuals wasn't earned by you. It was given to you by them out of their respect for your ex.
    When they are no longer constrained by the social convention of giving you capital you didn't earn, they quickly and efficiently let you go. It sends a very clear message.

    They may, one day, regret not staying in touch with you when some other situation arises where your social capital would have been valuable to them, but for now - your ties no longer bind.

    This has absolutely nothing to do with sexual preference - gay or straight. It is how we the species work.





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    Apr 13, 2012 5:17 AM GMT
    Cologne84 saidIs there a way to genocide the fake people in this world? icon_smile.gif Please?



    a plastic eating fungus
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    Apr 13, 2012 5:19 AM GMT
    Genocide is too icky.

    Now keelhauling them, or putting out their eyes, cutting off their thumbs and big toes and making them perform for table scraps of food
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    Apr 13, 2012 7:46 AM GMT
    Cologne84 said
    osakarob saidHave you ever thought that maybe....just maybe....those people who defriended you never really liked you in the first place? The endured a rapport with you out of respect for your ex.

    Now they don't have to endure you anymore and so .... poof! You are gone.




    lol wasn't that idea implied given the topic? icon_rolleyes.gif I was asking about people being fake.


    I would have preferred them to just be honest about their "dislike" for me from the beginning. Never mind the fact that they would hit me up to hang out "because they dont like me".

    Do straight guys have to deal with this crap? lol it almost seems like social tactics women would employ ...
    When you find that charming alternate universe, get back to us. That isn't how the world works.
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    Apr 13, 2012 9:05 AM GMT
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    Apr 13, 2012 9:06 AM GMT
    Iceblink said
    a plastic eating fungus


    it exists!

    Fungus.jpg