Fathering a Child

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2012 10:36 AM GMT
    I would love to father a child, it is just some sort of primeval instinct in me, plus I love children and they seem to like me. Whenever I visit friends who have children, even if they are shy, they are soon asking to be held by me, etc., never get frightened, only laugh and chuckle. I also think I would be a good dad, because my own parents were not the best and I see how they went wrong.

    I long to father a child. I know the world is overpopulated, so it is possible to help unfortunate children in other ways. But I would also like to pass on my genes, the genes of grandparents, etc., plus of course I have other things to pass on (like intellectual property, maybe someday some assets).

    My problem, of course, is that I am never going to get into a relationship with a female. And, being male rather than female, I cannot find a way to impregnate myself! What do people think? Should I just accept that I was born that way and it is tough luck that I cannot have/rear my own kids? It seems a bit of an unnatural conflict - to be born gay and have no interest in heterosexuality, yet at the same time to have these strong paternal feelings...

  • realjock666

    Posts: 79

    Apr 13, 2012 2:13 PM GMT
    Let's have a kid together, I myself want to have a kid.. icon_razz.gif
  • Imaxsean

    Posts: 17

    Apr 13, 2012 2:14 PM GMT
    Well, there are many people like you wanting to have children, me for example. Being gay, we can still have our "own' children. How about a surrogate mother? Is it viable in your area?
  • dj12

    Posts: 55

    Apr 13, 2012 2:38 PM GMT
    I think I'd like to have a kid someday, but it's a long way off. I'd have no problem fuckin a chick to get one. It's faster and cheaper than any other route.
  • monet

    Posts: 1093

    Apr 13, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    Being a father involves a lot more than getting a woman pregnant. Unless you plan on being there every single day of your child's life it's really better NOT to have a child.

    There are already far too many fatherless children in this world. Don't add to the problem.

    I would never, ever give up my sperm to a woman unless I was going to be there to raise my child.

    P.S. I've raised two children, one biological child and one step-child, and I have been there every single day of their lives.
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    Apr 13, 2012 3:23 PM GMT
    I have 3 sons.......parenting is hard and nonstop. My sons are 17 20 and 27.....all STILL live at home with me and the demands are ever changing...so much more than impregnating a woman.....that's the easiest part of the entire process.
    Donate sperm to a sperm bank and adopt a child....your child is so much more than your genes....its the investment of love and time, education, discipline, sacrifices........fucking is not the same as love. I don't know the laws of Italy, so get familiar and educate yourself on options. Good Luck.icon_cool.gif
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    Apr 13, 2012 3:44 PM GMT
    Trollileo said
    JPtheBITCH said
    Sporty_g saidI have 3 sons.......parenting is hard and nonstop. My sons are 17 20 and 27.....all STILL live at home with me and the demands are ever changing...so much more than impregnating a woman.....that's the easiest part of the entire process.
    Donate sperm to a sperm bank and adopt a child....your child is so much more than your genes....its the investment of love and time, education, discipline, sacrifices........fucking is not the same as love. I don't know the laws of Italy, so get familiar and educate yourself on options. Good Luck.icon_cool.gif
    27?? Kick that deadbeat out!
    I was almost thinking the same thing.

    Great insight, Sporty.


    Thanks.... the oldest is back after he lost his job.....is now a "traveling contractor" for the military...so I dont see him very often....just his storage and a mailing address.... LOL! not a deadbeat.....please what type of dad would I be if I didn't instill my work ethic in him?.....hell...he makes more than me!
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    Apr 13, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    Xavier1989 saidWell, there are many people like you wanting to have children, me for example. Being gay, we can still have our "own' children. How about a surrogate mother? Is it viable in your area?


    I am not terribly sure. I had thought about a surrogate mother, but I would have to find a solution that was the best for the child, and I am not sure that is. I have read ads about 2 lesbians looking for a sperm donor, but I do not think that is fair. If you have a child, you have to commit yourself to that child 100%. I think the only option is to maybe find a gay woman who is in the same position and maybe create a "partnership."

    Also, I believe surrogacy is a bit of a grey area in the law. The woman might form a bond with the child, keep it for herself, and just use me to keep her and the child for 18 years with only limited access.....

    Unlike dj12, I would have a problem going the cheapest way!

    I also think you have to be sure of who the mother is, know her personally, to know she is sure of being a good mother. I talked about passing on my genes, but any child can only have 50% of mine, 50% has to come from someone else, and they will make up around a half of that person's individuality.

    Thanks to all those fathers who have already posted their insights.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2012 4:04 PM GMT
    Sporty_g saidI have 3 sons.......parenting is hard and nonstop. My sons are 17 20 and 27.....all STILL live at home with me and the demands are ever changing...so much more than impregnating a woman.....that's the easiest part of the entire process.
    Donate sperm to a sperm bank and adopt a child....your child is so much more than your genes....its the investment of love and time, education, discipline, sacrifices........fucking is not the same as love. I don't know the laws of Italy, so get familiar and educate yourself on options. Good Luck.icon_cool.gif

    You're awesome! I haven't raised any children of my own, but being pretty much born in the middle of all my cousins, having several nieces and nephews, and babysitting 7 kids at a time in high school... I got a good idea of what goes into parenting, and what I'm glad I didn't have to deal with in regards to all those kids growing up. You got 3 adults children in your house? Eesh! I felt late for leaving home at 20...
    Where was I... you're badass. Father points* w/o wife points* single man points*
  • bischero

    Posts: 847

    Apr 13, 2012 4:09 PM GMT
    Lotteur
    Also, I believe surrogacy is a bit of a grey area in the law. The woman might form a bond with the child, keep it for herself, and just use me to keep her and the child for 18 years with only limited access.....



    This is exactly why you go through an agency. Before the child is conceived, you sign a contract with the surrogate mother and the agency, guaranteeing that the child will end up in your hands and all parental rights are given to you. Just like a sperm donor has no claim to children he's sired, a surrogate has no claim to the children she's carried.

    Being a mom or a dad is more than just passing on genes or donating a cell from your body - it's about loving, protecting, teaching, and caring for your child, whether he or she be biological or adopted.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 13, 2012 4:13 PM GMT
    bischero said
    Lotteur
    Also, I believe surrogacy is a bit of a grey area in the law. The woman might form a bond with the child, keep it for herself, and just use me to keep her and the child for 18 years with only limited access.....



    This is exactly why you go through an agency. Before the child is conceived, you sign a contract with the surrogate mother and the agency, guaranteeing that the child will end up in your hands and all parental rights are given to you. Just like a sperm donor has no claim to children he's sired, a surrogate has no claim to the children she's carried.

    Being a mom or a dad is more than just passing on genes or donating a cell from your body - it's about loving, protecting, teaching, and caring for your child, whether he or she be biological or adopted.
    Did I propose to you already? You don't have to impress anymore!LOL
  • bischero

    Posts: 847

    Apr 13, 2012 4:15 PM GMT
    Yehoshua_B5917 said
    bischero said
    Lotteur
    Also, I believe surrogacy is a bit of a grey area in the law. The woman might form a bond with the child, keep it for herself, and just use me to keep her and the child for 18 years with only limited access.....



    This is exactly why you go through an agency. Before the child is conceived, you sign a contract with the surrogate mother and the agency, guaranteeing that the child will end up in your hands and all parental rights are given to you. Just like a sperm donor has no claim to children he's sired, a surrogate has no claim to the children she's carried.

    Being a mom or a dad is more than just passing on genes or donating a cell from your body - it's about loving, protecting, teaching, and caring for your child, whether he or she be biological or adopted.
    Did I propose to you already? You don't have to impress anymore!LOL


    Haha. Awwww!!! *blushes* icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    That's so sweet. I can picture you with your kids now:

    2ughslv.jpg
  • chi_rock

    Posts: 207

    Apr 14, 2012 1:46 AM GMT
    My desire to be a dad kicked in just a few years ago. I have no idea what brought it on. I won't likely go that route, though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2012 1:47 AM GMT
    Lotteur said... I cannot find a way to impregnate myself!...


    Have fun trying! icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2012 1:48 AM GMT
    thomas_beatie.jpg
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    Apr 14, 2012 1:49 AM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said
    eagermuscle saidThat's so sweet. I can picture you with your kids now:

    2ughslv.jpg


    ROFL!!


    Red typographic tattoos are HAWT. Those kids will do well for themselves...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 14, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    I fathered a child, educated it, raised it to adulthood. It wasn't what it was all cracked up to be.

    They cry all night, they wet the bed (sometimes your bed). They steal your identity - you are so-and-so's dad and all of a sudden you have nothing to talk about but them, which bores the hell out of your childless friends. Your facebook page will be nothing but pics of them and "amusing" (well only you think so) stories of them. You have to go through school again - homework, science projects, etc. They wreck your car. They embarass you in front of others. Get hooked on drugs or alcohol. Get pregnant or get someone else pregnant.

    There are no guarantees that your fantasy child will be what you imagine. Fantasies are never as good as you imagine.

    Get a dog. They're loyal and love unconditionally. You don't have to send them to college or clothe them.

    Leave your assets to charity -- a children's hospital if you love children.
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    Apr 14, 2012 2:43 AM GMT
    Go for it bro. I made a post about this as well. Just remember that once you bring a child into this world, it's no longer all about you. The world will revolve around your baby and its a lot of work but give your best and im sure the good will outweigh the bad =D
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    Apr 14, 2012 3:57 AM GMT
    Lotteur saidI would love to father a child, it is just some sort of primeval instinct in me, plus I love children and they seem to like me. Whenever I visit friends who have children, even if they are shy, they are soon asking to be held by me, etc., never get frightened, only laugh and chuckle. I also think I would be a good dad, because my own parents were not the best and I see how they went wrong.

    I long to father a child. I know the world is overpopulated, so it is possible to help unfortunate children in other ways. But I would also like to pass on my genes, the genes of grandparents, etc., plus of course I have other things to pass on (like intellectual property, maybe someday some assets).

    My problem, of course, is that I am never going to get into a relationship with a female. And, being male rather than female, I cannot find a way to impregnate myself! What do people think? Should I just accept that I was born that way and it is tough luck that I cannot have/rear my own kids? It seems a bit of an unnatural conflict - to be born gay and have no interest in heterosexuality, yet at the same time to have these strong paternal feelings...



    You should look into sperm donation then.
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    Apr 14, 2012 6:55 AM GMT
    mortal12 saidGo for it bro. I made a post about this as well. Just remember that once you bring a child into this world, it's no longer all about you. The world will revolve around your baby and its a lot of work but give your best and im sure the good will outweigh the bad =D


    This is a good post, like the one by Undercover Man and several others. How many dads are as committed and loving as you lot in the heterosexual world?!? Precious few from what I have seen!
  • xysx

    Posts: 306

    Apr 14, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    My son ust turned 18 yesterday. Though I can't say it's been an easy road, it has been a truly rewarding one, and one I would gladly do again. Just realize that you will no longer have a life of your own, if you raise a child. Your life belongs to them first, always with them as primary consideration in every waking, and sleeping moment you have. Fortunately, my son has turned out to be an extremely cool kid. icon_cool.gif
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Aug 07, 2014 10:54 PM GMT
    How would you go about procreating a child, if you are gay?
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    Aug 07, 2014 10:54 PM GMT
    tmac saidGo for it bro. I made a post about this as well. Just remember that once you bring a child into this world, it's no longer all about you. The world will revolve around your baby and its a lot of work but give your best and im sure the good will outweigh the bad =D


    Do you have a child?
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    Aug 07, 2014 11:01 PM GMT
    1AlanZSky saidHow would you go about procreating a child, if you are gay?


    You can always adopt or use a surrogate mother.