Elusive Love

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 14, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    Where am wrong in this way of thinking?

    Several guys say they're looking for a ltr, love, a life partner, husband, etc. but when all is said and done for 99% that's just bait to get with a guy and get laid then bail on them. Yes, this has happened to me. On the flip side I've NOT had sex with some that says they're looking for what I wrote above and they bail out cause I want something that's built on a deeper more meaningful path to life long companionship. Where are the men that want to go deep (and I don't mean sexually) in all areas of life THEN add the sex?

    Thanks for reading!!

    Yes, as I'm sure you've guessed I'm a hopeless romantic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 14, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    midwestcommuter saidWhere are the men that want to go deep (and I don't mean sexually) in all areas of life THEN add the sex?
    In the Navy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 14, 2012 1:41 AM GMT
    midwestcommuter saidYes, as I'm sure you've guessed I'm a hopeless romantic.

    Indeed I do see you that way. Because sex is just a physical enjoyment, that can or cannot mean something more to the participants.

    When I was single I had casual sex with guys all the time. It was fun, and it was revealing. It was one more piece in the puzzle, of whether this guy was potential BF, or even partner material. If they were, only then did my romantic side kick in.

    Trust me, before every car I've ever bought, I always drive it around the block first. Why should men be different?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 14, 2012 1:45 AM GMT
    I'd rather build a solid relationship and then add in sex. It's so much better that way...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 14, 2012 1:54 AM GMT
    I'll take the soapbox for this one.

    In looking for Love we often find that we're looking for something in particular that will complete us. Which in itself is a worthy endeavor, and more of us should strive to have Love in our lives. But in "looking for..." scenarios in regards to finding what We Desire The Most In Our Lives, people often begin to assign a perfect or ideal image/label/circumstance to finding Love. In there begins a problem because we start get tunnel vision about what is important in the search and in the guy. Then come the wolves who know the story all too well cause they've heard it before. They'll butter you up and use you like a chew toy and spit you out onto the sidewalk.
    This scenario can be avoided by making a simple but profound change to your life. Learn to love yourself for who you are, and not by what it means or appears to be to other people. Enjoy your life. Hang out with friends and family. Live your life to the fullest. Do all those things you'd want to do with Mr. Right, but do them for yourself; not cause a relationship "enables" you to do them. Positivity attracts positivity. That's the secret of being happy, is smile and find it in yourself to be happy. In turn you'll find it in yourself to be happy. But you have to make it practice. A lifestyle change. It's all nice and hunkidory for me... but I had to learn the hard way.

    Step down of the box. "Next!"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 14, 2012 7:09 AM GMT
    Yehoshua_B5917 saidI'll take the soapbox for this one.

    In looking for Love we often find that we're looking for something in particular that will complete us. Which in itself is a worthy endeavor, and more of us should strive to have Love in our lives. But in "looking for..." scenarios in regards to finding what We Desire The Most In Our Lives, people often begin to assign a perfect or ideal image/label/circumstance to finding Love. In there begins a problem because we start get tunnel vision about what is important in the search and in the guy. Then come the wolves who know the story all too well cause they've heard it before. They'll butter you up and use you like a chew toy and spit you out onto the sidewalk.
    This scenario can be avoided by making a simple but profound change to your life. Learn to love yourself for who you are, and not by what it means or appears to be to other people. Enjoy your life. Hang out with friends and family. Live your life to the fullest. Do all those things you'd want to do with Mr. Right, but do them for yourself; not cause a relationship "enables" you to do them. Positivity attracts positivity. That's the secret of being happy, is smile and find it in yourself to be happy. In turn you'll find it in yourself to be happy. But you have to make it practice. A lifestyle change. It's all nice and hunkidory for me... but I had to learn the hard way.

    Step down of the box. "Next!"


    While you have some valid points it doesn't necessarily as I am a brutal realist with no real expectations as to what "the one" will be like. I try to keep "all" my options open.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 14, 2012 9:04 AM GMT
    midwestcommuter saidWhere am wrong in this way of thinking?

    Several guys say they're looking for a ltr, love, a life partner, husband, etc. but when all is said and done for 99% that's just bait to get with a guy and get laid then bail on them. Yes, this has happened to me. On the flip side I've NOT had sex with some that says they're looking for what I wrote above and they bail out cause I want something that's built on a deeper more meaningful path to life long companionship. Where are the men that want to go deep (and I don't mean sexually) in all areas of life THEN add the sex?

    Thanks for reading!!

    Yes, as I'm sure you've guessed I'm a hopeless romantic.


    Is not bad to be a romantic, but you should keep in mind that it might not be as great as your expectations. Last guy i dated, we went out for two months before we try having sex, then one month before we tried it again, lets just say the sex was horrible with him. 3 months wasted. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    If you are looking for LTR / true love, then you may be giving the wrong signal by sleeping with these guys too early. If they are really interested in the same thing, then they wouldn't mind waiting. Try it!

  • Apr 16, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    In my opinion if you do not want to get hurt again by another guy then do what I do. Never sleep with a guy your dating until you know him well enough and he can actually say he loves you and he actually means it, and you too of course! (might be 1 month or 3 months or whenever)Although pretty much most guys will leave you sooner or later because they feel like they will never get any sex from you which is wrong. But at least you know they obviously were not the right guy for you then, and you cant be hurt that much because there the ones that pretty much lost a great guy just because they are thinking with there dicks.