10 guys you see at the gym

  • chi_rock

    Posts: 207

    Apr 14, 2012 5:54 PM GMT
    Sorry if this has already been posted:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScEKYCUL6W4&feature=player_embedded

    I hate to say I see myself (just a little) in a couple of these...
  • GuyD87

    Posts: 30

    Apr 14, 2012 6:21 PM GMT
    This is awesome, every single one he listed is 100% true.

    I have a special hate for the guys on their cell phones. Seriously dude, get off your phone. You're at the gym to work out, not to be texting and playing games.
  • Parker817

    Posts: 359

    Apr 14, 2012 6:40 PM GMT


    You're welcome.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 14, 2012 11:49 PM GMT
    Not funny.

    He could take a lesson from this:

    7 Jerks At Every Gym


    #7. The Grunter
    As you're slowly ambling through the gym, looking for the least-intimidating piece of equipment around (it's the water fountain), you'll soon hear strange and upsetting sounds, like a man giving birth to a fully grown female tennis player.
    That's the Grunter, the guy or girl who can't exercise without forcefully exhaling like a seal in heat. To be fair, there are some arguments in favor of grunting: Exertion is often easier when breathing out, an occasionally noisy process. Many find that the grunting is an integral part of their strength and timing, something they can't exercise without. Which would be fine if they were in the gym alone. But they're not, and a key element of the gym social contract is staying out of other people's hair. You may find the music from Conan the Barbarian to be inspirational, but that doesn't mean that everyone wants to hear you chanting "Duh-duh-Duh-DUh-Duh-DA-DA! Phwum-phwum-PHWUm-PHWUM-DA-DA-DA-PWHUMMMM. Neuu neeee neeuu neu neu neu Niiiiiiiiiiii, da-da-d-a-d-a-da-da!" while you're doing side leg raises.
    How to Deal with Him:
    The easiest way to deal with a Grunter is to put on headphones and listen to music, perhaps a track of you chanting the theme from Conan the Barbarian. The hardest way to deal with a Grunter is to train a bird to fly into his mouth when he's exhaling. There may be other methods in between the two extremes, but they are not worth pursuing.

    #6. The Weight Belt Guy
    Eventually you'll spot someone who has what appears to be a wrestling championship belt around his back.
    This is Weight Belt Guy, and he's there to do serious weight-lifting stuff. Ideally these guys will hang out in their own gyms, where they can have conversations with other Weight Belt Guys, using complicated words like "isometric" or "set." But they will sometimes show up in regular-person gyms, which is where you'll learn to fear them.

    The big problem with these guys is the intimidation factor. Whether they
    do it deliberately or accidentally, Weight Belt Guys make going to the gym even more humiliating than it already is. When a Weight Belt Guy does something with one arm that you'd been struggling to do with both legs, you're going to feel like a piece of shit. A small, weakly built piece of shit.
    How to Deal with Him:
    Your first instinct might be to hang out by low-impact equipment, like the used-towel hamper, until they go home. But Weight Belt Guys don't ever seem to go home. Your best bet is to exercise on a different day, or just walk around the parking lot a couple times and call that a set.

    #5. The Unsolicited Advice Guy
    For most of us, working out is a pretty humbling experience, as you'll discover the first time you get winded while navigating a recumbent bike's menu system. There's not an exercise or workout that can be done with an audience that wouldn't be far more comfortable being done alone. So when some magnificent asshole sidles up and tells you that you're working the wrong part of whatever limb is trembling like a leaf at the moment, you're not going to like him.

    Actually, "not liking" him is a bit weak. In truth, the second this stupendous dillhole lays his hands on you to "correct your form," you're going to want to set him on fire.

    How to Deal with Him:
    By setting him on fire. Carry two water bottles with you during your workout -- one filled with delicious water, the other with kerosene. Squirt Unsolicited Advice Guy with kerosene and rip the power cord out of an exercise bike, bringing the two bare wires together to create first a shower of sparks, and then an obnoxious human candle. This might sound extreme, if only because of the significant property damage that will result, but it turns out gyms are prepared for and well insured for incidents like this: it's why memberships are so expensive.

    #4. The Dripper
    There's a good chance this person is you, so I won't be too harsh here. (There's a good chance this person is me, too.) The Dripper is the guy who, while working out, looks like a half man/half ice cream cone, like one of the X-Men who doesn't get to go on too many missions.
    The sad thing is that given its roots in the genetic and physical makeup of the subject, there's not much a Dripper can do to prevent this condition. Aside from not exercising, of course, which is a deservedly popular answer. But there are corrective steps that can be taken, and with that in mind, Drippers can be further sub-categorized into two categories:

    1) Abashed Drippers, who seem slightly embarrassed about their mutant powers and discreetly mop up after themselves with towels and cleaning sprays.
    2) Leaky Satans, who don't do that at all.
    How to Deal with Him:
    Unsurprisingly, how to deal with a Dripper depends on the subtype:
    1) For Abashed Drippers, there's little you need to do, other than minimize any urge you might have to wrestle with them.
    2) For Leaky Satans, consult the Bible to find specific ancient rites that will ward yourself against the Beast's foul emissions. Thus protected, take a large towel and suffocate them. Shouting "The drying power of Christ compels you" while you do this will alert everyone nearby to spot you if necessary.
    #3. The Tight Shorts Guy
    There are many parts of the male anatomy that are more suitably covered by loose, draped fabrics. The lumpy bits, but also the other ones. Anything described as a "bit," in fact, should have its contours kept well away from prying eyes. But that's not acceptable to Tight Shorts Guy, whose bits' contours are going to be in your face whether your face likes it or not (it doesn't).
    Now, obviously we're all in these places to look better, so it makes a certain amount of sense to take pride in your accomplishment. Like a spike after a touchdown, or a Nobel Prize acceptance dance, these little celebrations are a part of being human. But if someone's sole accomplishment is "really solid hamstrings" and their celebration makes people want to be somewhere "else," they're probably doing something wrong.
    How to Deal with Him:
    Being someplace else is the preferred approach, but if that's not possible (maybe you have a really bad home life), then you'll just have to stare at the ceiling. Which is unfortunate, as this neck angle can interfere with your proper lifting form and get drippings in your eyes.

    #2. The Tight Shorts Girl
    Related to but subtly different from Tight Shorts Guys, these are girls in tight shorts, and they are, in many respects, fantastic.
    The only downside -- and again I should point out that there are so, so many upsides -- is that they will make you forget how to breathe and you will die.
    How to Deal with Her:
    Focus on taking deep breaths using your abdomen. This will maximize the amount of oxygen entering your lungs, and make you look kind of like a weird frog, which will encourage Tight Shorts Girl to move away from you, removing the threat. And whatever you do, don't stare directly at a Tight Shorts Girl, lest you turn yourself into the worst type of gym villain ...

    #1. The Starer
    Obviously you can find Starers in many places other than the gym. There are usually about four of five of them in every Denny's, for example. But given the self-consciousness issues at play when working out, and the tight shorts that Tight Shorts Girls like to wear, Starers are at their most bothersome in the gym.

    As a Dripper prone to singing the instrumental theme to Conan the Barbarian while doing Pilates, I'm used to receiving some uncomfortable stares at the gym, but the looks rarely linger. I can't imagine the hell a Tight Shorts Girl goes through when these guys are around. If only there was some enumerated Internet article that listed ways of dealing with guys like this ...
    How to Deal with Him:
    Well, you could always go to one of those women-only gyms, although on behalf of all the Drippers out there, I'd like t
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 14, 2012 11:58 PM GMT
    There's one guy at my gym who YELLS at the tops of his lungs every time he does a rep. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

    I've thought of bringing a bottle of Ex-lax to the gym and putting it on his weights when he's done with a set.

    But I don't think he'd get the joke.
  • shawn829

    Posts: 21

    Apr 15, 2012 1:05 AM GMT
    Grunting helps you achieve PR's, it is known.

    *hums game of thrones theme
  • offshore

    Posts: 1294

    Apr 15, 2012 1:12 AM GMT
    I do not like how he included / picked on Noobs.

    Everyone was a Noob at one point. Why picking on someone just started something? You never know if the Noob may have the dedication to turn out to be the next body building competitor.

    He isn't that ripped or nice physically to be so picky about others.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 1:51 AM GMT
    Man I read this thread, and watch the video and all that comes to mind is "what a bunch of whiny bitches. Maybe you'd feel better at a Curves". This is not specifically directed at anyone here. Just sayin.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    Yeah, hate me...hate me hard.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    Is it some rule that all gay men who make videos are required to be annoying as fuck? I couldn't make it through the first 30 seconds of this video.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 2:41 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidIs it some rule that all gay men who make videos are required to be annoying as fuck? I couldn't make it through the first 30 seconds of this video.


    I actually found the video very genuine, and the guy did a good job at articulating his ideas. He definitely held my attention, despite the fact he could have been a little bit more expressive and connected to his thoughts.

    Judging by your profile: "Any normal guys on here? [...] FYI - I tend to ignore headless people"; it seems like you have a way of projecting a lot of negativity on others which perhaps is an issue you have with yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    eurofreak said
    Scruffypup saidIs it some rule that all gay men who make videos are required to be annoying as fuck? I couldn't make it through the first 30 seconds of this video.


    I actually found the video very genuine, and the guy did a good job at articulating his ideas. He definitely held my attention, despite the fact he could have been a little bit more expressive and connected to his thoughts.

    Judging by your profile: "Any normal guys on here? [...] FYI - I tend to ignore headless people"; it seems like you have a way of projecting a lot of negativity on others which perhaps is an issue you have with yourself.



    Perhaps you shouldn't try psychoanalyzing people you've never met.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 2:52 AM GMT
    Voltaire saidMan I read this thread, and watch the video and all that comes to mind is "what a bunch of whiny bitches. Maybe you'd feel better at a Curves". This is not specifically directed at anyone here. Just sayin.


    Seriously. People need to focus on why THEY are at the gym and not on other people.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 2:54 AM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    eurofreak said
    Scruffypup saidIs it some rule that all gay men who make videos are required to be annoying as fuck? I couldn't make it through the first 30 seconds of this video.


    I actually found the video very genuine, and the guy did a good job at articulating his ideas. He definitely held my attention, despite the fact he could have been a little bit more expressive and connected to his thoughts.

    Judging by your profile: "Any normal guys on here? [...] FYI - I tend to ignore headless people"; it seems like you have a way of projecting a lot of negativity on others which perhaps is an issue you have with yourself.



    Perhaps you shouldn't try psychoanalyzing people you've never met.


    Perhaps, you should not brashly bash people you've never met. Perhaps, I just favour a more thought-out critique of video blogs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 3:08 AM GMT
    eurofreak said
    Scruffypup said
    eurofreak said
    Scruffypup saidIs it some rule that all gay men who make videos are required to be annoying as fuck? I couldn't make it through the first 30 seconds of this video.


    I actually found the video very genuine, and the guy did a good job at articulating his ideas. He definitely held my attention, despite the fact he could have been a little bit more expressive and connected to his thoughts.

    Judging by your profile: "Any normal guys on here? [...] FYI - I tend to ignore headless people"; it seems like you have a way of projecting a lot of negativity on others which perhaps is an issue you have with yourself.



    Perhaps you shouldn't try psychoanalyzing people you've never met.


    Perhaps, you should not brashly bash people you've never met. Perhaps, I just favour a more thought-out critique of video blogs.



    I don't think you realize the difference (like many people) between making a comment about a total stranger who will likely never see your words, and publicly attacking someone directly. If this guy were a member here, I would have kept my opinion about the video to myself out of consideration for his feelings. Maybe you should have followed my lead.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 3:09 AM GMT
    eurofreak said
    Scruffypup said
    eurofreak said
    Scruffypup saidIs it some rule that all gay men who make videos are required to be annoying as fuck? I couldn't make it through the first 30 seconds of this video.


    I actually found the video very genuine, and the guy did a good job at articulating his ideas. He definitely held my attention, despite the fact he could have been a little bit more expressive and connected to his thoughts.

    Judging by your profile: "Any normal guys on here? [...] FYI - I tend to ignore headless people"; it seems like you have a way of projecting a lot of negativity on others which perhaps is an issue you have with yourself.



    Perhaps you shouldn't try psychoanalyzing people you've never met.


    Perhaps, you should not brashly bash people you've never met. Perhaps, I just favour a more thought-out critique of video blogs.


    Perhaps, you should just STFU. He formed his own opinion about what he actually viewed and heard, just like you did. No one is criticizing you for that, are they?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 15, 2012 3:34 AM GMT
    chi_rock said10 guys you see at the gym
    Here's the 11th one.

    Gain_Febreze_Gym-412x288.jpg