Roommate Drama

• FS696
  
  Posts: 131
  
  
  Apr 15, 2012 5:16 AM GMT

  Okay i have a issue here and i am wondering how you all would handle this. I let my friend of 5 years move in with me back in jan. He was moving from another town because of him and his bf had broken up and they were kicking him out. Okay, I got fired from my job back in december and been living off my savings and school checks and help from my family. We agreed that that we would split things expect cable because he has no t.v.. Well the first thing that pissed me off was he quit his job randomly just so he could chase a boy to a town for 3 days, he then came back smoked ice cussed me out left with random ppl lied to me and pretty much became a bum wanting my family to send money for US, ME AND HIM, to live on. I told him im not gonna milk my fmaily like that when he is unemployed by his choice. Long story short we have been fighting alot he has told ppl shit like it was him that kept me off the streets and that im full of drama. O he also has only gave me 460 for rent and bills for 2 months his half is like 352 a month but he tells ppl other shit.
  
  What would any of you do in this situation? I feel bad about it because of the history but if i let him continue then im downing mysef in my opinion.

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  Apr 15, 2012 5:49 AM GMT

  Kick him out or move out, disregard what he's done/ what he owes you and wipe the slate clean for yourself. His issues are not your problem. If he wants to continue being your friend then he has to sort himself out and put as much in as you do in the friendship but you can only give him emotional support.
  
  Say your bit, keep it about what he's done to you, and don't bait into his insults or slander. Talkers talk and don't do anything, people know that and will see that when you're the one working hard and not responding.

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• FS696
  
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  Apr 15, 2012 6:17 AM GMT

  jim_e saidKick him out or move out, disregard what he's done/ what he owes you and wipe the slate clean for yourself. His issues are not your problem. If he wants to continue being your friend then he has to sort himself out and put as much in as you do in the friendship but you can only give him emotional support.
  
  Say your bit, keep it about what he's done to you, and don't bait into his insults or slander. Talkers talk and don't do anything, people know that and will see that when you're the one working hard and not responding.

  
  
  
  that pretty much where i am at now, i have ended the friendship because he lied on me when he lived in batesville or rather talked shit about me after i drove 10 hours one day to his house and back so he could go to work. But, it is honeslty hard because of our history.

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• calibro
  
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  Apr 15, 2012 12:43 PM GMT

  stop being an idiot. a friend doesn't do any of those things. who cares what his history is... be worried about the present.

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  Apr 15, 2012 1:12 PM GMT

  Is this apartment in your name? If you move out, even with a lease, courts often only find that you have to pay for a reasonable time for the landlord to find a new renter, usually a couple months or so. However, if you move out and he remains and cannot pay you may be under an obligation to pay for as long as he is there and your name is on the lease. Get him out of the apartment, even if that means you have to have evict him. He may have been a friend when he moved in, but the friendship is dissolving and is only going to get worse as long as you two are living together, so why put off the inevitable? That's the problem with having a friend as a roommate; if this had been someone that responded to a roommate ad, you would have probably already gotten rid of him.

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  Apr 15, 2012 1:16 PM GMT

  Might be time to break out the woodchipper and "disappear" your "friend."
  
  (Or you could just kick the ungrateful bastage out.)

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• bmoney1
  
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  Apr 15, 2012 2:22 PM GMT

  Came back and smoked ice? Filthy. I would kick him out ASAP. No questions asked. No emotions involved. I don't live with crackheads.

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  Apr 15, 2012 2:26 PM GMT

  FS696 saidRoommate Drama

  That's a redundant statement.

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• HndsmKansan
  
  Posts: 16412
  
  
  Apr 15, 2012 2:27 PM GMT

  The real issue here is that you did a friend a favor instead of treating it as a
  "formal roommate siituation" complete with legal agreement with expectations spelled out in writing. The difference is, to do a friend a favor is temporary for a night or two..... and for that the word "roommate" isn't applicable. If you and he agreed he was to be your "roommate", it should have been done in writing.
  
  It helps with "drama" reduction....lol

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• LJay
  
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  Apr 15, 2012 5:01 PM GMT

  Take the $450. Tell him how much more he owes you. Then tell him that he has to be out no later than Friday because you do no put up with this stuff in your home. You can also tell him that, sinceyou are so hard up for money, you are going to look for another roommate who will be paying his bills in advance.

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• OptimusMatt
  
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  Apr 15, 2012 5:05 PM GMT

  Guess you found out why the ex evicted him.
  
  "smoked ice"? Fucking you around for money? Quit his job to chase a boy? BIG RED FLAGS for a stable home life

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• FS696
  
  Posts: 131
  
  
  Apr 16, 2012 7:37 AM GMT

  he is out we had a big fight and what not, but yea i am here getting help from family but this whole drama stuff has made me just want to leave this town and reboot.

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• FS696
  
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  Apr 16, 2012 7:39 AM GMT

  calibro saidstop being an idiot. a friend doesn't do any of those things. who cares what his history is... be worried about the present.

  
  
  
  never was a idiot, just wanted to help a friend of like 5 yrs out, scratch my back i scratch your back. I dont think that would make me a idiot.

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  Apr 16, 2012 8:16 AM GMT

  FS696 said

  calibro saidstop being an idiot. a friend doesn't do any of those things. who cares what his history is... be worried about the present.

  
  
  
  never was a idiot, just wanted to help a friend of like 5 yrs out, scratch my back i scratch your back. I dont think that would make me a idiot.

  
  
  Well, I think calibro was refering to the fact that you were even questioning what you should do. It was pretty obvious that what this "friend" did wasn't what "friends" do, so the answer should have been pretty simple: kick him to the curb and don't look back. Sounds like that's what the final result was, which is perfect.

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  Apr 16, 2012 8:51 AM GMT

  He sounded like one shitty friend in the end anyway.

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  Apr 16, 2012 10:38 AM GMT

  Well, you learned from this. It's a good thing you kicked him out before you get stuck. Good luck to him...hope he changes his ways.

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  Apr 16, 2012 11:26 AM GMT

  I had a similar problem with one of my best friends i had since elementary school. She was kicked out and moved in with me, lived rent free, and never had to pay for her expenses. I felt bad for her, so i let her get away with it. Once I realized that she wasn't getting a job, and ended up travelling to other states to meet guys, I let her go. She left her cat to be handled by me as she traveled to Tennessee. eventually i told her that i was going to throw her shit out, which was just a threat, but it got her to act. Unfortunately, she decided to become a permanent travelling punk kid, and ended up doing meth and becoming a heroin addict. I have seen her mugshots and articles of her being drunk in public before noon, pissing in public, and other things all over the internet. Hell, she was even interviewed by the local paper about travelling homeless, and she was quoted for saying things about doing drugs and how no one could stop her... Well, the police had an eye on her since then, which led to her demise and being arrested multiple times. Last I heard of her, she was a travelling prostitute, still doing crzy drugs.
  
  Moral to the story is, even if it is your best friend, sometimes you just have to let them go. i don't regret it, and all of her choices and decisions are her own, so i don't feel remorse. And apparently she tells people that i ruined her life. But delusional people are just that.. delusional. And you need to let them go.
  
  I don't deal with crazies anymore, and I don't have many friends because of this.
  
  Now I live with my friend I have had since middle school. We were never very close, and I think this is why us living together has been so successful; because we are never in each other's business too much.

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  Apr 16, 2012 3:57 PM GMT

  This makes me appreciate my roommates (both friends of seven years).
  
  One is in N. Carolina recording an album with his band right now and the other is off at work professionally grooming dogs.
  
  Maybe the real moral of the story is...choose your friends more wisely?

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• FS696
  
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  Apr 16, 2012 4:15 PM GMT

  EastCoastNAZ said

  FS696 said

  calibro saidstop being an idiot. a friend doesn't do any of those things. who cares what his history is... be worried about the present.

  
  
  
  never was a idiot, just wanted to help a friend of like 5 yrs out, scratch my back i scratch your back. I dont think that would make me a idiot.

  
  
  Well, I think calibro was refering to the fact that you were even questioning what you should do. It was pretty obvious that what this "friend" did wasn't what "friends" do, so the answer should have been pretty simple: kick him to the curb and don't look back. Sounds like that's what the final result was, which is perfect.

  
  
  
  it was that and i put him on blast cause he lied and said it was because of him i was still living here and he stole my ipod but returned it later on.

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• FS696
  
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  Apr 16, 2012 4:22 PM GMT

  ConfederateGhost saidThis makes me appreciate my roommates (both friends of seven years).
  
  One is in N. Carolina recording an album with his band right now and the other is off at work professionally grooming dogs.
  
  Maybe the real moral of the story is...choose your friends more wisely?

  
  
  well you dont know a person truely until you spend 24hrs str8 with them. I was good friends with him for 5 years but i found out that he lies alot and that is a issue with me.

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  Apr 16, 2012 5:39 PM GMT

  It took you 5 years to find out he's a liar, or it took you 5 years to accept your friend was a liar? Trust me, I've been in a similar situation as you (only her addcition was to OCs intraveniously). The moral of the story is choose your friends more wisely. Maybe the lesson you are s'pose to learn here is that your approach to figuring people out as friends should be altered?
  
  

  FS696 said

  ConfederateGhost saidThis makes me appreciate my roommates (both friends of seven years).
  
  One is in N. Carolina recording an album with his band right now and the other is off at work professionally grooming dogs.
  
  Maybe the real moral of the story is...choose your friends more wisely?

  
  
  well you dont know a person truely until you spend 24hrs str8 with them. I was good friends with him for 5 years but i found out that he lies alot and that is a issue with me.

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• FS696
  
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  Apr 16, 2012 6:25 PM GMT

  ConfederateGhost saidIt took you 5 years to find out he's a liar, or it took you 5 years to accept your friend was a liar? Trust me, I've been in a similar situation as you (only her addcition was to OCs intraveniously). The moral of the story is choose your friends more wisely. Maybe the lesson you are s'pose to learn here is that your approach to figuring people out as friends should be altered?
  
  

  FS696 said

  ConfederateGhost saidThis makes me appreciate my roommates (both friends of seven years).
  
  One is in N. Carolina recording an album with his band right now and the other is off at work professionally grooming dogs.
  
  Maybe the real moral of the story is...choose your friends more wisely?

  
  
  well you dont know a person truely until you spend 24hrs str8 with them. I was good friends with him for 5 years but i found out that he lies alot and that is a issue with me.

  
  
  When a person leads a doble life its hard to know the truth. he had two faces that he used and I did'nt find it out till he really moved here and i talked to his ex and compared notes

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  Apr 16, 2012 6:34 PM GMT

  Your roomie is only gonna do what you allow him to do so you've got no one to blame but yourself for letting it get this way. He's freeloading because you've let him get away with it so far and clearly he doesn't respect you as person or a friend. A friend would never do something like what you've just mentioned.
  
  Kick his ass out and be done with it. The minute that dude quit his job I would've been like "So I guess you don't plan on staying here anymore, huh?"

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