How to avoid becoming a person you hate

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2012 12:02 PM GMT
    I was reading a few threads and the most recent involved an OP asking whether gay people were hypocrites and some lashed out against the OP.
    While I think the OP did a poor job with how he went about the discussion I also feel he was making a point as the responses instantly reminded me of an article I read recently.

    "It makes us feel better to separate ourselves from people whose behavior we don't like. It makes us feel moral, safe, and beyond reproach. But separating the other people as evil means we are more likely to lash out at them and, before we know it, become cruel ourselves.

    I am not saying that we should excuse violence or poor behavior. There must be consequences to people who act destructively. But psychologically separating ourselves from them makes us dangerous."


    It's not about lowering ourselves. It's about opening our eyes to realize that we too are capable to be as cruel as the people we oppose when we are removed from our comfort zone. I hope that accepting this may help us all be conscious how we act and react to situations.

    Anyone who feels that their opposition is completely bad and they are completely good.....well as Ian says " You scare me"

    Hugs and love to everyone. Have a great day icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 15, 2012 12:47 PM GMT
    Well I hate overly opinionated and judgmental people so I'm screwed. I'm not only a dog lover, I'm considering vegetarianism.
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    Apr 15, 2012 1:41 PM GMT
    Hehe dogs are pretty cool I'd like one to be ther e when I'm on stakeouts but I don't wanna get arrested for animeal cruelty
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    Apr 15, 2012 2:08 PM GMT
    eagermuscle saidWell I hate overly opinionated and judgmental people so I'm screwed. I'm not only a dog lover, I'm considering vegetarianism.


    I'm a carnivore and I love dogs. Một loại kẹo deo.
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    Apr 15, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    I can only respond to the general premise of threads like that and to that thread based on the posts of others, because frankly the OP of that thread is one the most irritating people on this site and so I have him forum blocked (posts ignored).

    When there are posts in threads here about what those that are against glbt rights have said, most of the time those posts did not come out about what was said by an unknown, suburban housewife, those threads arise out of what has been said publicly by a politician, actor, singer, religious leader, or some other public figure and so it is perfectly legitimate to respond negatively to their words in online forums. When there are general discussions here about those that are against gays and lesbians and think it is a sin and so they should be denied rights, this is an online forum and so I am going to say it is wrong, because bigotry is wrong and the place where that bigotry comes from is wrong. That doesn't mean I am screaming at the next door neighbor who votes against marriage or my uncle that thinks gays should not have protection from being fired, but here in these forums, I am not going to be understanding of their views. I do not have to be tolerant of intolerance.
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    Apr 15, 2012 2:51 PM GMT
    Iceblink- I agree with you bro. Violence. Raciscm. Homophobia are many. negative aspects to deal with and should not be tolerated. My purpose of this thread is not about tolerating their behavior. Its about making sure that we don't become the same way by putting ourselves on a pedastal.

    Hugs
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    Apr 15, 2012 3:09 PM GMT

    I keep seeing, "How to avoid becoming a person who hates" when I glance at this topic while scrolling down the topics.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 15, 2012 3:27 PM GMT
    Sometimes I really like myself but other times I really hate myself.
    I think I'm a really fucking awesome person but I just have a lot of issues covering up my awesomeness and about 99% of the population can't see past them.
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    Apr 15, 2012 3:49 PM GMT
    meninlove said
    I keep seeing, "How to avoid becoming a person who hates" when I glance at this topic while scrolling down the topics.

    lol man
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    Apr 15, 2012 4:04 PM GMT
    mortal12 said
    meninlove said
    I keep seeing, "How to avoid becoming a person who hates" when I glance at this topic while scrolling down the topics.

    lol man

    Interesting, eh? icon_wink.gif

    On this site, hating is de rigeur, and if there's not enough of it for entertainment purposes, some create it.

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    Apr 15, 2012 4:30 PM GMT
    I raised wolfpuppy as a vegetarian like me. He especially loved his carrot snacks and taught himself to open the fridge to get a carrot all on his own. We did occasionally have some fish, however, and he loved tuna and especially smoked salmon, which, you know, wolves eat in the wilds of Alaska. Smoked salmon.

    I'm sorry, what was this thread about?
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    Apr 15, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    Yeah when my homeboy first warned me how catty this board can be I was like no way. But now reading these threads I'm like DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lmao it makes me laugh though
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    Apr 15, 2012 6:25 PM GMT
    RJ is not about drama! Anyway, everyone has the ability to be cruel in one way or another given the right circumstances, it may be easier for some than others. It's human nature, so there is no way to avoid it but rather deal with situations better than resorting to being cruel.
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    Apr 15, 2012 6:33 PM GMT
    MarkRoger saidRJ is not about drama! Anyway, everyone has the ability to be cruel in one way or another given the right circumstances, it may be easier for some than others. It's human nature, so there is no way to avoid it but rather deal with situations better than resorting to being cruel.


    Couldn't have said it any better. Thank you
  • tokugawa

    Posts: 945

    Apr 16, 2012 3:48 AM GMT
    Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.

    - Friedrich Nietzsche
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    Apr 16, 2012 2:17 PM GMT
    tokugawa saidWhoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.

    - Friedrich Nietzsche

    Just as numerous philosophers and others have also warned that in fighting human enemies one risks turning into them yourself. The same concept, that we're seeing right now in the US war against terrorism.

    It's for that reason I've put my own RJ detractors here on Ignore, because I saw myself getting down in the mud with them, becoming just as bad as them, a person like those I hate.

    And I have enough friends here that if the haters post prohibited personal information on me, or make unfounded accusations against me, as they have in the past, I'll be made aware of it, along with RJ Admin.
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    Apr 16, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    Don't vote Republican.
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    Apr 16, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    mortal12 saidI was reading a few threads and the most recent involved an OP asking whether gay people were hypocrites and some lashed out against the OP.
    While I think the OP did a poor job with how he went about the discussion I also feel he was making a point as the responses instantly reminded me of an article I read recently.

    "It makes us feel better to separate ourselves from people whose behavior we don't like. It makes us feel moral, safe, and beyond reproach. But separating the other people as evil means we are more likely to lash out at them and, before we know it, become cruel ourselves.

    I am not saying that we should excuse violence or poor behavior. There must be consequences to people who act destructively. But psychologically separating ourselves from them makes us dangerous."


    It's not about lowering ourselves. It's about opening our eyes to realize that we too are capable to be as cruel as the people we oppose when we are removed from our comfort zone. I hope that accepting this may help us all be conscious how we act and react to situations.

    Anyone who feels that their opposition is completely bad and they are completely good.....well as Ian says " You scare me"

    Hugs and love to everyone. Have a great day icon_biggrin.gif



    I understand where you're coming from totally, it's a thought that's struck me a lot in recent years. I think the best, or only, resolution is to always try to rise above haters, instead of responding to them with aggression. Sounds very preachy I know, but yeah.
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    Apr 16, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    tokugawa saidWhoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.

    - Friedrich Nietzsche

    Just as numerous philosophers and others have also warned that in fighting human enemies one risks turning into them yourself. The same concept, that we're seeing right now in the US war against terrorism.

    It's for that reason I've put my own RJ detractors here on Ignore, because I saw myself getting down in the mud with them, becoming just as bad as them, a person like those I hate.

    And I have enough friends here that if the haters post prohibited personal information on me, or make unfounded accusations against me, as they have in the past, I'll be made aware of it, along with RJ Admin.

    # General Response:
    I pity those who fight those whom don't fight back, or even those enemies who only live in their heads. What's the price for glory that will never come?
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    Apr 16, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    You see this a lot in American politics. There was a time when people would argue about politics on the house/senate floor and then go out for dinner and drinks afterward. They understood that the opinions a person holds ARE separate from the person they are.

    Because I support highly liberal issues should not make me a bad person to a conservative. But in our current political situation it makes it almost impossible for me to have conservative friends. I have met very few people who can debate politics with me and not take it seriously.

    I find people in general like to make emotional arguments on here and it's really hard to engage those people rationally. You cannot really reason with emotions.




  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    tokugawa saidWhoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.

    - Friedrich Nietzsche


    Bingo!

    These forums can be pretty shocking and depressing. I need to take breaks from it from time to time. It has had it's effect on me too, some of which I am not proud of.
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    Apr 16, 2012 4:12 PM GMT
    n8698u said, "It has had it's effect on me too, some of which I am not proud of."


    Me, too. icon_sad.gif

    -Doug
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    Apr 16, 2012 4:30 PM GMT
    Art_Deco said
    tokugawa saidWhoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.

    - Friedrich Nietzsche

    Just as numerous philosophers and others have also warned that in fighting human enemies one risks turning into them yourself. The same concept, that we're seeing right now in the US war against terrorism.

    It's for that reason I've put my own RJ detractors here on Ignore, because I saw myself getting down in the mud with them, becoming just as bad as them, a person like those I hate.

    And I have enough friends here that if the haters post prohibited personal information on me, or make unfounded accusations against me, as they have in the past, I'll be made aware of it, along with RJ Admin.


    I came to RJ for workout advice, and to take in some tasty eye candy. I thought the forums were cool, at first. Back in 2009, there were lots of funny, smart, supportive people I thought I could network with. I could make new friends, possibly more.

    I soon learned the internet offers enough of a veil for some truly disturbed individuals to fuck with people for fun. Art, I have watched your primary "hater" throw some shit in your direction, and am astounded this person is still here. My only guess is RJ admins are giving him enough rope until... What I'm trying to say is that I found myself having to speak to the trolls in their own language, so they can understand. Afterwards, I asked myself, "what the fuck did I just do to myself???" Yeah, to MYSELF, not to the sad person I responded to.

    I let the darkness in, and there is nobody to blame but myself.
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    Apr 16, 2012 4:52 PM GMT
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    Apr 16, 2012 6:16 PM GMT
    adam228 saidYou see this a lot in American politics. There was a time when people would argue about politics on the house/senate floor and then go out for dinner and drinks afterward. They understood that the opinions a person holds ARE separate from the person they are.

    Because I support highly liberal issues should not make me a bad person to a conservative. But in our current political situation it makes it almost impossible for me to have conservative friends. I have met very few people who can debate politics with me and not take it seriously.

    I find people in general like to make emotional arguments on here and it's really hard to engage those people rationally. You cannot really reason with emotions.






    Yeah it really does get emotional and from there the communication has already been severed.

    FYI- For everyone who is reading or has read the message in this thread and responded genuinely thank you =)