Would you date a private investigator?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2012 9:39 AM GMT
    Do you find it a turn on? or find it a little intimidating? I'm not a fully licensed investigator yet (fucking nys licensing laws) but as a trainee and dedicated person to the profession I have skills that sometimes amazes my mentor. I still have a lot to learn though

    Anywhos, When I tell guys this is my career path most of them joke and call me their cute little detective. When they get a glimpse of what I can do.(detect deception, verify information, etc) they get SCARED lol.

    The training people in this profession go through often calls for healthy skepticism. As our favorite idiom "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean something is not going on'


    So what you think? We're really not that bad. Just don't lie to us lol
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    Apr 16, 2012 11:46 AM GMT
    It's an issue for if you put your skills into practice on people you're dating. I know I like that level of trust where you don't check up on everything I'm doing because I also do not do that to you.

    It's nice that you can seed out stability in a partner though.
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    Apr 16, 2012 11:58 AM GMT
    I would totally date that new Bosley from the short-lived Charlie's Angels earlier this year....

    I miss that show... It was lame, but was my guilty pleasure for reasons stated above...

    icon_cry.gif
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    Apr 16, 2012 12:29 PM GMT
    mortal12 saidSo what you think? We're really not that bad. Just don't lie to us lol

    You know by now that PIs have a code of ethics, plus are governed by varying laws in the different States. But ethics and the law can be bent or broken.

    Therefore I think it's important you make every effort to impress any date or future BF with your professional integrity. Because otherwise a lack of trust, and fear of what you're checking into behind his back, could be a relationship deal breaker.

    I was US Army Military Police myself, so I know very well how to "snoop." It's partly for that very reason, and to demonstrate respect & trust, that I never look at anything personal my partner has or does, without his permission.

    He knows I never open his mail, don't look at loose papers on his desk, never go into his wallet, don't check his cell phone or anything on his computer (we have separate ones), never go online to look at his banking, even though we both have that mutual ability & authority, in case of emergency, won't eavesdrop on his phone calls, closing the door if needed. I even avert my eyes when there's something up on his computer screen, and won't touch the KB without him requesting me to solve some problem he's having.

    His privacy is sacrosanct to me, and to pry is to insult him. I also learned that skill in the Army, when I often handled classified material. We were governed by the "need to know" principle, and you trained your eyes & mind not to focus upon & comprehend items that weren't your business. The exact opposite of what I would do in my MP law enforcement capacity, when I was all eyes & ears.

    So you might want to turn off your PI side when you're with a guy for purely personal reasons. I think it's wise for everyone under any circumstances, and doubly important for you when he learns what you do for a living.
  • GAYBIGMACHODU...

    Posts: 1357

    Apr 16, 2012 12:39 PM GMT
    I wouId date some gay single male private investigaters as long they were
    drug free,nonsmokers,gunless guys,kidless guys,big dickedguys ,honest guys, all american guys,big muscled guys,high tech guys and I find them attractive.
    I won't date any guys with guns or with kids or small dicks at all.I won't date
    any gun owners at all.I won't date any drug users or smokers at all.
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    Apr 16, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    Aren't we all "private investigators?" I mean think about it, when on a first date, aren't we "investigating" the guy for red flags, use of the word "we", ect? Or is it just me? Investigating and listening can save yourself heartache in the future.
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    Apr 16, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    mortal12 saidDo you find it a turn on? or find it a little intimidating? I'm not a fully licensed investigator yet (fucking nys licensing laws) but as a trainee and dedicated person to the profession I have skills that sometimes amazes my mentor. I still have a lot to learn though

    Anywhos, When I tell guys this is my career path most of them joke and call me their cute little detective. When they get a glimpse of what I can do.(detect deception, verify information, etc) they get SCARED lol.

    The training people in this profession go through often calls for healthy skepticism. As our favorite idiom "just because you're paranoid doesn't mean something is not going on'


    So what you think? We're really not that bad. Just don't lie to us lol


    Umm... I think if they had nothing to hide, they probably wouldn't be nervous, lol! Hell, I'd date you~
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    Apr 16, 2012 5:00 PM GMT
    Yeah turning it off is my only challenge cuz its kind of a like a way of life

    With ppl I date I never had and hopefully never will just pry into their lives for my enjoyment. I always make it clear that I'm trusting them to just tell me the truth. And if they don't want me to know something just say they don't want to tell me. Cuz I'm far from an open book. Just be honest

    Its only when I notice huge contradictions like this guy who claimed he was 25. Yet graduated high school in 1995

    We all have flaws and probably done things in the past that we're not proud of. At the same time I sadly believe that many ppl couldve saved time and money resulting from divorce if they just took some time to research whether their fiance had a history of domestic violence or had prior divorces from infidelity or other negative factors

    But I fully understand where many ppl are coming from concerning the importance of letting your partner know you wont misuse your skills to monitor them
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    Apr 16, 2012 5:04 PM GMT
    [Sits down at Starbucks with a Which Chocolate Mocha~]

    "Excuse me", says a really cute guy approaching me, "Would you mind if I sat with--- What the hell? What's that guy doing in the bushes with a camera watching us?"

    "Silly cute guy", I giggle to myself, "That's my boyfriend."
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    Apr 16, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    Final_Fantasy said[Sits down at Starbucks with a Which Chocolate Mocha~]

    "Excuse me", says a really cute guy approaching me, "Would you mind if I sat with--- What the hell? What's that guy doing in the bushes with a camera watching us?"

    "Silly cute guy", I giggle to myself, "That's my boyfriend."


    Don't worry about the guy in the bushes. Worry about that cute ditzy acting blonde girl across from you giving the play by play over phone or text. Hehe

    Actually there are so many ways to go about that scenario lol. My blessing/curse
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    Apr 16, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    mortal12 said
    Final_Fantasy said[Sits down at Starbucks with a Which Chocolate Mocha~]

    "Excuse me", says a really cute guy approaching me, "Would you mind if I sat with--- What the hell? What's that guy doing in the bushes with a camera watching us?"

    "Silly cute guy", I giggle to myself, "That's my boyfriend."


    Don't worry about the guy in the bushes. Worry about that cute ditzy acting blonde girl across from you giving the play by play over phone or text. Hehe

    Actually there are so many ways to go about that scenario lol. My blessing/curse


    Oh believe, I wouldn't worry about the guy in the bushes~ I'd probably be in love with him lol! Though if that were the situation, I'd probably be worried for any guy who approached me lol~

    So the guys who took two steps back when you told them what you do: what do they do for a living O_o?
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    Apr 16, 2012 5:26 PM GMT
    I like to date the person, not his job.
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    Apr 16, 2012 5:30 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 saidI like to date the person, not his job.
    This*^
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    Apr 16, 2012 5:57 PM GMT
    Final_Fantasy said
    mortal12 said
    Final_Fantasy said[Sits down at Starbucks with a Which Chocolate Mocha~]

    "Excuse me", says a really cute guy approaching me, "Would you mind if I sat with--- What the hell? What's that guy doing in the bushes with a camera watching us?"

    "Silly cute guy", I giggle to myself, "That's my boyfriend."


    Don't worry about the guy in the bushes. Worry about that cute ditzy acting blonde girl across from you giving the play by play over phone or text. Hehe

    Actually there are so many ways to go about that scenario lol. My blessing/curse


    Oh believe, I wouldn't worry about the guy in the bushes~ I'd probably be in love with him lol! Though if that were the situation, I'd probably be worried for any guy who approached me lol~

    So the guys who took two steps back when you told them what you do: what do they do for a living O_o?


    There was one guy who was a high school teacher. At first he thought it was cute but him and I bumped heads and the ending went horrible. He was a very charming guy though. Extremely diplomatic and even when he was caught in a lie, he would find ways to twist it around lol.

    Other people just had regular part time jobs like server, retail etc and btw like I said im not a fully licensed PI just yet. I'm an aspiring trainee who's been practicing on my own(legally) for years until I got a mentor lol

    Until I graduate and have open availability i make my living as a loss prevention agent lol
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    Apr 16, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 saidAren't we all "private investigators?" I mean think about it, when on a first date, aren't we "investigating" the guy for red flags, use of the word "we", ect? Or is it just me? Investigating and listening can save yourself heartache in the future.


    Yes it can. That's been ingrained in my psyche. at the same time Art_deco made a great point about not abusing these skills

    There's a fine line between looking for a problem and creating a problem
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    Apr 16, 2012 6:09 PM GMT
    Well there is no law saying you can't do a background on someone you are dating. Naturally, if you give someone a reason to do a check on you they will more then likely do it. Anyone can do it if you know how. With that being said, dating a PI is just asking to be checked up on. It's in their nature, be it out of habit or plain curiosity, to see if you are real deal.

    To answer the OP, probably not.
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    Apr 16, 2012 6:34 PM GMT
    Nope and no police either. I would be too paranoid all the time and I like my privacy.
  • BlackBeltGuy

    Posts: 2609

    Apr 16, 2012 7:06 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 saidI like to date the person, not his job.


    yes. same with me and being a karate instructor. everyone thinks I'm the free ticket to bodyguard and its quite the opposite.

    you get into a fight , YOU fix it. If I am dating you and you start something you finish it and I will encourage you to walk away.
    HOWEVER
    just don't touch me ; )
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Apr 16, 2012 7:50 PM GMT
    WTF?
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    Apr 16, 2012 7:57 PM GMT
    Do they still call them Private Dicks or is that just in old black and white movies from the 40's?
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    Apr 16, 2012 8:16 PM GMT
    It might be kind of exciting to be the one that walked in.

    It had been a long day. The kind that had started as night and then turned into day and then turned into night again. My secretary, Candy Buttons, was out on vacation and I was left to take care of myself. I needed a good stiff one. And then he walked in.

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    Apr 16, 2012 9:56 PM GMT
    I don't think I would feel intimidated, I have nothing to hide. At same time I wouldn't want anyone to invade my privacy and run reports on me.

    I once asked my college professor in psychology if her career and knowledge ever spills over into her family. She said no.

    Ex_Mil8 I like to date the person, not his job.


    ^^And this^^

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    Apr 16, 2012 10:03 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 saidI like to date the person, not his job.


    Exactly!!! But to be honest... we all look up the person we like over facebook before making a move (unless they are someone we run into) lol
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    Apr 24, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    Guy101 saidWell there is no law saying you can't do a background on someone you are dating. Naturally, if you give someone a reason to do a check on you they will more then likely do it. Anyone can do it if you know how. With that being said, dating a PI is just asking to be checked up on. It's in their nature, be it out of habit or plain curiosity, to see if you are real deal.

    To answer the OP, probably not.


    Yeah. I just like to know things. Not out of jealousy or insecurity. Just curiosity.
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    Apr 24, 2012 1:10 AM GMT
    onaquest saidI would totally date that new Bosley from the short-lived Charlie's Angels earlier this year....

    I miss that show... It was lame, but was my guilty pleasure for reasons stated above...

    icon_cry.gif


    OMFG!!! I loved that show so much! It was so bad it was good! And I would have dated him too (he was the loser from Transformers II)

    Anyway, I wouldn't mind dating one... might be a little weird but at least they care enough to check up on you.