Gay Men Blacklist?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 12:29 AM GMT
    As a disclaimer I'm new to the gay scene, so don't be too harsh! icon_confused.gif

    Is there a place / forum that you can look for advice on how to warn others of very dramatic guys? This seems VERY random but I had to deal with a guy who took advantage of me, and then completely dropped me. I heard from some friends and personally know he has done the same to other guys. I almost FLIPPED a complete sh*t when my current boyfriend told me he gotten taken advantage of too and that was the reason why he was hesitant to talk to me. I've thought that I should just drop it cause I'll never seem him again except those awkward moments on campus sometimes. But I don't want others to get taken advantage of as I did. What can I do? Thanks.
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    Apr 18, 2012 12:42 AM GMT
    To be completely fair, even if you warn others, a lot of them probably won't listen.

    Let's say a random guy named Bill comes up to you and says "Stay away from Justin, he used me." You don't know Bill, so would you be more inclined to believe him, or would you think that Bill still wants to be with Justin and sees you as a threat?

    Sometimes the best thing you can do is just band together as friends and don't let this guy get the best of you. Unfortunately, there are a number of gay men out there who go after what they want without regard for others' feelings. Warning others to stay away from those guys will probably have little effect..people tend to do what they want when they see someone they are attracted to.

    I think you should use this experience as a valuable lesson. And chances are that if this guy has that kind of a reputation with several of your friends, he's going to end up shooting himself in the foot. And if he's burned that many people, he probably doesn't have that many friends anyway.

    Spend time with your friends, enjoy life, and just don't interact with this guy. Don't let people like him get you down or change you from who you are. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:55 AM GMT
    Don't worry about that guy. At his rate, he's gonna suffer in his own personal hell and the best part about it, will be that he created it all on his own.

    The important thing is that you have a boyfriend that you care for and he cant ruin that. At the same time, If anyone you know ever confide in you about this guy, then feel free to share your experience to enlighten them, and leave it up to them to do what they have to do for themselves

    All the best luck to you and your bf
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:55 AM GMT
    douchebagsofgrindr.com
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 4:35 AM GMT
    Yeah I too wish I had someone warn me about certain guys, but is part of life. Just learn from it and try to move on.
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    Apr 18, 2012 4:43 AM GMT
    Thanks for all the replies.

    Some good advice. Just want to give the other guy the heads up but it's true, what weight does my word hold?

    Definitely thinking about registering him on that website. He actually found my boyfriend on grindr when he used it and accused HIM (my boyfriend) of using it to imposter him (said douchebag). What an asshole.
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    Apr 18, 2012 4:47 AM GMT
    Yeah, I still remember right after the schizophrenic one went cray-cray on me. Folks said stuff like, "Yeah, we kind of knew about X's history, but we thought it would be different this time and with you."

    Like, WTFicon_question.gificon_question.gificon_question.gificon_question.gif

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 4:47 AM GMT
    icon_neutral.gif For a while, you could leave "reviews" on iTrick.com but apparently they got sued. But really, spouting off like that is just going to make YOU look like a douchebag jealous ex (or ex wannabe). Besides, no matter what you say HE did, there is someone out there who gets turned on by that and will ask you for his number icon_rolleyes.gif
  • wpc56

    Posts: 45

    Apr 18, 2012 6:15 AM GMT
    Well, my "friend" warned my current bf to "watch" out for me.

    So now that I've been with the same guy eight years and dropped my "friend" like a sac of shit... I'm so much happier.

    My point is, sometimes you just can't predict how people will turn out and just trust your instinct... I mean sometimes people are just evil for whatever reason.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 6:28 AM GMT
    I say let others identify the signs themselves, and make their own decisions and take their own actions.

    Why blacklist someone because they dumped you? That's just petty, IMO. Someone could turn around and do the same exact thing to you, whether true or not, and other people will avoid you just the same.

    If this guy continues to do what he does, he'll eventually get what's coming to him. You're just hanging onto something in your past that you should just be moving on from. That's not good energy you choose to carry around.

    Just my .02
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 9:05 AM GMT
    That sucks, dude.

    Honestly, I don't think there is much you can do. Just be a good friend and warn those around you to be cautious of this fellow. I understand that you were fucked with and that's unfortunate but just because it happened to you and a few doesn't mean it'll happen to others.

    It is impossible to try and be everyone's Knight in shining armor and you shouldn't really beat yourself up for it. This guy's reputation will be his own undoing and his actions will eventually catch up to him and others will see what you see in him.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 9:16 AM GMT
    KONY2012 was actually a campaign after Jason Russell was taken advantage of and then dumped by his boyfriend Joseph Kony. True story.

    kony.jpg
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Apr 18, 2012 9:27 AM GMT
    People learn from experience.

    As Tanooki says, you should learn from this, and next time be more cautious about who you trust and how much trust you give to people.

    It's only by having contact with these douche-bags that we can grow into well-rounded people.

    Unfortunately you can't go around warning others off people. They also need to have the learning experiences you do.

    Hopefully the guy who took advantage of you will try to do it again and do it to the wrong person and end up on the wrong side of things (smacked in the face, humiliated, taken for a ride etc).

    Don't let this experience make you bitter. Get over it and move on. You're better than this and we have all gone through this too. Life sometimes sucks. (think I've covered all the platitudes there.haha)

    What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

    Loz
  • tokugawa

    Posts: 945

    Apr 18, 2012 2:20 PM GMT
    When we get turned on by a great looking guy who presses all of our buttons, our rational thinking gets thrown out the window. The hotter the guy, the less rational our behavior becomes.

    Is it any wonder some normally clear headed people will get "used" in this situation?

    Beware especially on alert if he asks you to pay for his smokes or alcohol, or if he asks for money "for his mother's operation." Or if your possessions start to vanish.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:21 PM GMT
    Asianguy62, might you be thinking of something like this?

    Hilarious vid-clip from Amazon Women on the Moon!

  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19136

    Apr 18, 2012 3:30 PM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ saidI say let others identify the signs themselves, and make their own decisions and take their own actions.

    Why blacklist someone because they dumped you? That's just petty, IMO.


    ^^^ This ^^^ Definitely don't come off as bitter by attempting to blacklist someone who dumped you. Just move on and let others form their own opinion based on their own experience with the guy. Maybe he's ultimately a good guy who just hasn't met the right person for him. You have nothing to gain by smearing someone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 10:33 PM GMT
    7Famark saiddouchebagsofgrindr.com


    I don't see anything about any of them that would make we want to sign up to the regular Grinder

    tokugawa said
    Beware especially on alert if he asks you to pay for his smokes or alcohol,


    Hell yeah. I don't smoke. Years ago I learned from an X who used to ask me to buy his cigs. I did it maybe once or twice, and told him...I'm not going to support your habit anymore. To hell with that mother fucker. Better suck your thumb if you stressed.

    Drinks are different though if it's in a bar. But still, I'll still put my foot down (and money up) at some point.

    I was with a guy the other night. Handsome man. Older too. We were talking about getting drinks But he was like, yeah if you buying. I had to be straight up and tell him before I even did it, "look...I don't buy guys in the club drinks. because I know it's a lot of users up here...and haven't bought a random guy in the club a drink since I was mother fucking 17. SO, if you think you're going to get a free drink up out of me, its not going to happen. Are you feeling me or not?"

    I ended up buying him a drink, but only because I knew the interest was there. And, we ended up going home together. The rest is a mystery.

    GAMRican saidYeah, I still remember right after the schizophrenic one went cray-cray on me. Folks said stuff like, "Yeah, we kind of knew about X's history, but we thought it would be different this time and with you."


    I'm a firm believer in confiding with others when it comes to a guy. I used to not want to listen, but after hanging with one of my older guy friends who happens to know a lot of the younger guys in the scene...every time I come to him about a guy...he always tells me, "oh yeah, he did the same thing to me too. He's so full of shit".

    A lot of gays be stuck in their ways. Rather than learn to change, they just keep fucking up again and again. Fucking bullheaded muthafuckas sometimes.