Jul 17, 2008 12:51 AM GMT
I don't know if any of you have ever done this before, but I hope I'm not the only one. One of my friends that I've known since I was 5.. we got in a huge fight 2 months ago, and the last thing I said to her was that I hated her and never wanted to see her again. Well, I just got a call earlier this week from her mom, she got killed in a wreck.. some drunk driver hit her head on. I didn't know what to say, or how to feel. I wish I could go back and tell her that I didn't mean what I said. It makes me feel like such a horrible person.. I mean we got in a fight over something so stupid, and how could I let that come between us.. how can something so small, put a wedge in a 18 year frienship. I know it's not my fault.. but maybe if I hadn't of said that, if we didn't get in that fight, just what if we were still friends, we would have been together and she wouldn't have been in that accident. I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know what to do. I just wish it had been me instead of her. She was such a better person than I am.. she had everything going for her, and now it's all gone. She's gone. I'll never get to tell her sorry for saying the hateful things to her, tell her that I loved her like my own sister. It's just fucked up, and I don't know how to deal with it. Have any of you had something like this happen? How did you deal with it? Or is it something I will struggle with for a while.