Do you judge potential boyfriends/partners by how they treat other people?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 5:16 AM GMT
    If you hit it off with your date during dinner but he treated your server like shit at the end (for no good reason) would this lower your opinion of them? Or perhaps if your date says something shallow about someone less fortunate in the "looks department?"

    Would this turn you off?
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    Apr 18, 2012 5:38 AM GMT
    Oh don't worry, like the guys on internet forums, just because they treat people like shit at a restaurant doesn't mean they'd actually treat people like shit in person.
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Apr 18, 2012 5:45 AM GMT
    theantijock saidOh don't worry, like the guys on internet forums, just because they treat people like shit at a restaurant doesn't mean they'd actually treat people like shit in person.

    icon_lol.gif
  • RollDontWalk

    Posts: 187

    Apr 18, 2012 6:36 AM GMT
    Definitely. Not having a certain level of respect for a fellow human being is a turnoff.

  • Apr 18, 2012 1:21 PM GMT
    Yes, I would lower my thoughts about him. I think the way he treats people says a lot about his personality. If he says something like that about a stranger or a friend, what will he do about someone he's dating....just my thoughts.
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    Apr 18, 2012 1:35 PM GMT
    conscienti1984 saidIf you hit it off with your date during dinner but he treated your server like shit at the end (for no good reason) would this lower your opinion of them? Or perhaps if your date says something shallow about someone less fortunate in the "looks department?"

    Would this turn you off?

    Of course it would be a turn off. It's one thing to people watch and make cute little inside jokes that speak to something else; it's another to be cruel to someone who hasn't done anything to you. Unless of course, you encourage the mentality the gives us the bullying issue we have nowadays, merely cause it grants you a few seconds of fleeting satisfaction at another's expense?
    FTR: Not a jab at the OP! Just where I'm coming from.
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    Apr 18, 2012 1:35 PM GMT
    I ABSOLUTELY would dump the guy I am dating if he treated others/ the general public like crap. It's all about character, and if he does not have the good character to treat others like humans, I want NOTHING to do with him. Bad treatment of others is a clear sign of a selfish, seff-centered person who is only in "it" for themself. BUH BYE
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    Apr 18, 2012 1:42 PM GMT
    How someone treats wait staff is foreshadowing of how they'll treat you at some point.
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    Apr 18, 2012 1:48 PM GMT
    This has happened to me, but in a different way.

    The guy seemed kind and balanced, generous. One day we went into a BK after a trip to the beach. He left his flip-flops in the car. The girl wouldn't serve him barefoot and he blew up at her saying his feet were cleaner than their counter tops (in all fairness, he was right. The place was a mess...but still). icon_eek.gif

    I didn't speak to him at all on the way home. Volatile much?

    Yeah, we are human. We have our foibles and flaws, but if one of his behaviors pokes you and goes against your ideals...
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    Apr 18, 2012 1:52 PM GMT
    That is an absolute turn-off for me. How someone treats others is a good indictator of how they will probably treat you. Besides, I think it's easier to be nice to people in the first place.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Apr 18, 2012 1:53 PM GMT
    Definitely. I couldn't imagine dating someone who treats others badly, since that is an extension of how they view people in general--and chickens have a way of coming home to roost.
  • gunpumper

    Posts: 53

    Apr 18, 2012 3:01 PM GMT
    As a former bartender I ALWAYS watch to see how guys treat
    servers and customer service people in general.
    If they have a consistent unwarranted elitist attitude towards them I always move on.

    If your ego is so damaged that you feel more important by slighting the
    customer service people of this world than I dont want you anywhere near me.

    First because it means your a petty little man.....

    and second, because I'm afraid of "guilt by association". I dont want snot ,piss, or dog shit mixed into
    my food or drink when I'm out with you...

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    Apr 18, 2012 3:03 PM GMT
    Yes.
    It's a good indicator of how You will be treated later on...
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:03 PM GMT
    Absolutely.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:03 PM GMT
    conscienti1984 saidIf you hit it off with your date during dinner but he treated your server like shit at the end (for no good reason) would this lower your opinion of them? Or perhaps if your date says something shallow about someone less fortunate in the "looks department?"

    Would this turn you off?


    They would both be HUGE turnoffs for a LTR, BUT for a one night stand I'm shallow enough to say looks could be enough.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    HATE to be the Devil's Advocate, but honestly, as far as the "waiter" I wouldn't care. I like cocky take charge guys. Arrogance is bad but for some reason I am totally attracted to it. I think because it's such a dominate trait in true straight men.

    P.S. I'm actually usually the one with bad manners sometimes..
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    Yes, I find it very off-putting
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:13 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 saidHATE to be the Devil's Advocate, but honestly, as far as the "waiter" I wouldn't care. I like cocky take charge guys. Arrogance is bad but for some reason I am totally attracted to it. I think because it's such a dominate trait in true straight men.

    P.S. I'm actually usually the one with bad manners sometimes..


    So hold up, straight men treat waiters badly? What kind of straight men do you hag out with????
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    fhaynie81 saidHATE to be the Devil's Advocate, but honestly, as far as the "waiter" I wouldn't care. I like cocky take charge guys. Arrogance is bad but for some reason I am totally attracted to it. I think because it's such a dominate trait in true straight men.

    P.S. I'm actually usually the one with bad manners sometimes..


    So hold up, straight men treat waiters badly? What kind of straight men do you hag out with????


    NOt saying that, I was going with the OP's example situation. AND YES I do believe arrogance is a dominant trait in "stright" men, or at least the ones I meet.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Apr 18, 2012 3:25 PM GMT
    How someone treats other people is extremely telling. If my date was rude to a server for no reason, even if the service wasn't so great or the food not the best, I would still find it a turn-off.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19129

    Apr 18, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH saidIt came from his low self-esteem, but still it put my teeth on edge.



    The edge of the bathroom sink, or in a glass at the edge of the nightstand? icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:30 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 said
    GreenHopper said
    fhaynie81 saidHATE to be the Devil's Advocate, but honestly, as far as the "waiter" I wouldn't care. I like cocky take charge guys. Arrogance is bad but for some reason I am totally attracted to it. I think because it's such a dominate trait in true straight men.

    P.S. I'm actually usually the one with bad manners sometimes..


    So hold up, straight men treat waiters badly? What kind of straight men do you hag out with????


    NOt saying that, I was going with the OP's example situation. AND YES I do believe arrogance is a dominant trait in "stright" men, or at least the ones I meet.


    Then its just the people you hang out with... Arrogance is def NOT a straight strait, Ive had practically only straight male friends all my life and.. they are competitive.. NOT arrogant

    (in fact, I find gay men to be much more arrogant.. something about the bitchiness and petty teenage girl traits)
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    conscienti1984 saidIf you hit it off with your date during dinner but he treated your server like shit at the end (for no good reason) would this lower your opinion of them? Or perhaps if your date says something shallow about someone less fortunate in the "looks department?"

    Would this turn you off?


    Were you on a date with one of those girls from "My super sweet 16"?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:33 PM GMT
    GreenHopper said
    fhaynie81 said
    GreenHopper said
    fhaynie81 saidHATE to be the Devil's Advocate, but honestly, as far as the "waiter" I wouldn't care. I like cocky take charge guys. Arrogance is bad but for some reason I am totally attracted to it. I think because it's such a dominate trait in true straight men.

    P.S. I'm actually usually the one with bad manners sometimes..


    So hold up, straight men treat waiters badly? What kind of straight men do you hag out with????


    NOt saying that, I was going with the OP's example situation. AND YES I do believe arrogance is a dominant trait in "stright" men, or at least the ones I meet.


    Then its just the people you hang out with... Arrogance is def NOT a straight strait, Ive had practically only straight male friends all my life and.. they are competitive.. NOT arrogant

    (in fact, I find gay men to be much more arrogant.. something about the bitchiness and petty teenage girl traits)


    Eh thats called being immature.......grosses me out actually! That's a "queen" trait. I date straight acting guys and they aren't like that...
  • gunpumper

    Posts: 53

    Apr 18, 2012 3:37 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 said
    GreenHopper said
    fhaynie81 saidHATE to be the Devil's Advocate, but honestly, as far as the "waiter" I wouldn't care. I like cocky take charge guys. Arrogance is bad but for some reason I am totally attracted to it. I think because it's such a dominate trait in true straight men.

    P.S. I'm actually usually the one with bad manners sometimes..


    So hold up, straight men treat waiters badly? What kind of straight men do you hag out with????


    NOt saying that, I was going with the OP's example situation. AND YES I do believe arrogance is a dominant trait in "stright" men, or at least the ones I meet.


    sorry but there is nothing "dominant" about arrogance. Arrogance is
    emotionally based behavior resulting from a person having inate low self-esteem or personal insecurities.

    I find a secure person, regardless of looks, to be incredibly hot- gay or straight- but I find arrogance
    to be just another phony shield for a sad damaged douchebag to try and convince others around him he's superior when hes actually a
    total mess mentally.