views on messing around while single- harmless fun or damaged goods?

  • KansasColt09

    Posts: 179

    Apr 18, 2012 6:09 AM GMT
    Something I've always had a hard time with from my Catholic upbringing was sex outside a relationship. How do you guys feel about it? Part of me wants to enjoy being single and meeting and messing around with different guys, and then part of me feels like damaged goods from it. Thoughts?
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    Apr 18, 2012 6:48 AM GMT
    KansasColt09 saidSomething I've always had a hard time with from my Catholic upbringing was sex outside a relationship. How do you guys feel about it? Part of me wants to enjoy being single and meeting and messing around with different guys, and then part of me feels like damaged goods from it. Thoughts?



    I have never messed around but if I was single and I did I would feel like damaged goods. I had a tutor who would sing this song to some girls in school who had a new bf every monday lol..It was a song about tomatoes and it went something like this ' feel up, squeeze up' LOOOL

    I forgot the words but her point was, no one wants touched up goods LOL

    Just my opinion icon_smile.gif
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 18, 2012 6:54 AM GMT
    Sorry, I am not produce.

    Damaged, hardley.

    One damn good lover, I think so. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 18, 2012 6:57 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidSorry, I am not produce.

    Damaged, hardley.

    One damn good lover, I think so. icon_wink.gif


    Self praise is no praise lol
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    Apr 18, 2012 7:12 AM GMT
    KansasColt09 saidCatholic upbringing
    There's your problem.
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    Apr 18, 2012 12:40 PM GMT
    I was raise roman texas catholic, until I got older and could use my own brain. I turned around and said I'm atheist bitch. don't put your life on the curve for religion, it ain't worth it. For respect to your parents or other reason is cool. But not religion
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    Apr 18, 2012 12:50 PM GMT
    Life at large is experience. I dont advocate sleeping with every tom, dick and harry but finding out about likes and dislikes and how we connect to ppl will come thru experience.
    Sometimes you're left with utter bliss others regret but u live to know the difference.
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    Apr 18, 2012 1:01 PM GMT
    Anduru said
    KansasColt09 saidCatholic upbringing
    There's your problem.
    This*^&
    I was born Baptist, but raised Catholic. icon_confused.gif I never did the whole holy communion thing like the rest of my family had done; and I even got kicked out of Catechism on my first day for fighting, vulgar language and destruction of property. Not trying to show off. I was pretty messed up at that time. As far as I knew Catholics had a way they said they'd do something, and a different way of actually doing it. Far different from the be good to those around you, and "suffer with your brothers pain" I had in Michigan. You can chose to constantly go back and forth with your actions and beliefs; or you can simply leave that headache behind and just do what makes you happy.
    You're only damaged good when single if you let yourself get overly involved too fast. I don't care if gay dating is in hyperdrive and not like it's hetero counterpart. Crash and burn is crash and burn no matter what your sexuality. Be mindful of your heart and mind.
  • Laurence

    Posts: 942

    Apr 18, 2012 1:02 PM GMT
    Harmless fun

    If you're single then it's a waste not to go out and have fun. You'll be old and married soon enough, go out and have some fun.

    Loz

    ps. Don't go treating guys badly though, as you'll get a reputation that way.
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    Apr 18, 2012 1:06 PM GMT
    .....and then the question, what constitutes becoming used goods, isn't that (yet again) an entirely subjective analysis?!!

    My stance, if you're in a relationship and enjoy sex, the world says its great, but if you're not you have to sit on the sidelines and whack off so that that no one deems you 'damanged'!?! Looking at the stats on here, the majority of guys are single and most of my gay mates (limited in number I know) are single so why should enjoying some physical contact be the preserve of those in a 'relationship' all because religous dogma scewered the perception of what is morally right or wrong!!! After being celibate for most of my 20's I decided that if the opportunity arose with a guy I had great chemistry with and I liked, I went for it, thats happend only a few times in between relationships, but no regrets and certainly not damaged, if a guy thinks that of me, thats his own 'damaged' perception that he needs to deal with, life is too short, enjoy it but dont put yourself at risk, the right guy will like you regardless of your number(s)!!

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    Apr 18, 2012 1:24 PM GMT
    KansasColt09 saidSomething I've always had a hard time with from my Catholic upbringing was sex outside a relationship. How do you guys feel about it? Part of me wants to enjoy being single and meeting and messing around with different guys, and then part of me feels like damaged goods from it. Thoughts?


    I had the same Catholic upbringing and struggled with my sexuality because of it.

    When I came to accept my homosexuality and learned more about human sexuality in general, I saw the Catholic church has a seriously flawed way of addressing sex. The studies of abusive priests have shown how suppression, repression and shame helped form some predatory tendencies.

    I learned that our sex drive is natural. I read somewhere our sex drive is only behind hunger and thirst in strength. We are sexual creatures. Why the hell make something feel so good then condemn if enjoy it.

    NOW! I do believe in some self control, responsibility and wisdom. Be careful who you hook up with, how you do each other and keeping your dignity by not becoming a common slut.

    I felt ashamed of my "slut phase" right after coming out. I was like a kid in a candy store. I think that is typical and normal. I had to learn by "doing." I grew out of it.
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    Apr 18, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    Jewlicious said
    KansasColt09 saidSomething I've always had a hard time with from my Catholic upbringing was sex outside a relationship. How do you guys feel about it? Part of me wants to enjoy being single and meeting and messing around with different guys, and then part of me feels like damaged goods from it. Thoughts?



    I have never messed around but if I was single and I did I would feel like damaged goods. I had a tutor who would sing this song to some girls in school who had a new bf every monday lol..It was a song about tomatoes and it went something like this ' feel up, squeeze up' LOOOL

    I forgot the words but her point was, no one wants touched up goods LOL

    Just my opinion icon_smile.gif

    Yeh I agree. I've been single for 2 yrs no sex at all. But mostly because I don't want the guy to feel like he's with used goods. I want to be that tight fresh bottom not a stretched out slut.
  • PolaroidSwing...

    Posts: 1131

    Apr 18, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    Morality is subjective, not objective. Sex is simply a physical act between two or more people; meaningless until you give it meaning.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:31 PM GMT
    You can have fun, as long as its with a boyfriend, or within the context of a relationship. If you start sleeping around and engaging in casual and anonymous sex because it's "fun", then you will feel like damaged goods and you're no more than a whore.

    This is just my view. I just think it's better to have sex with meaning.
  • ATXnative

    Posts: 240

    Apr 18, 2012 3:34 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 said
    Jewlicious said
    KansasColt09 saidSomething I've always had a hard time with from my Catholic upbringing was sex outside a relationship. How do you guys feel about it? Part of me wants to enjoy being single and meeting and messing around with different guys, and then part of me feels like damaged goods from it. Thoughts?



    I have never messed around but if I was single and I did I would feel like damaged goods. I had a tutor who would sing this song to some girls in school who had a new bf every monday lol..It was a song about tomatoes and it went something like this ' feel up, squeeze up' LOOOL

    I forgot the words but her point was, no one wants touched up goods LOL

    Just my opinion icon_smile.gif

    Yeh I agree. I've been single for 2 yrs no sex at all. But mostly because I don't want the guy to feel like he's with used goods. I want to be that tight fresh bottom not a stretched out slut.


    lol... omg the logic here is so fucked.
    Do squats, run, bike... youre butthole goes back.

    I don't understand how these guys hold off for years at a time, i start going stircrazy after no sex for a week or 2. Its not like your a girl with a cherry savin it for marriage.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:36 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH saidSweetie, you're not a tomato. If you bruise, you'll heal. If you have sex and use proper hygiene, you'll be fresh and clean tomorrow.

    The rest of that crap is in your head.


    +1
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    Jewlicious said
    TheBizMan saidSorry, I am not produce.

    Damaged, hardley.

    One damn good lover, I think so. icon_wink.gif


    Self praise is no praise lol


    Self righteous is rarely right at all.

    lol.
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:41 PM GMT
    Go ahead and mess around while you are single, as long as the other guy you're messing around with understands thats all it is. As far as the catholic upbringing, think of it this way, you are already going against the church by being gay and you don't have issue with that so why have problems with this?
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    Apr 18, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    afl35 said.....and then the question, what constitutes becoming used goods, isn't that (yet again) an entirely subjective analysis?!!

    My stance, if you're in a relationship and enjoy sex, the world says its great, but if you're not you have to sit on the sidelines and whack off so that that no one deems you 'damanged'!?! Looking at the stats on here, the majority of guys are single and most of my gay mates (limited in number I know) are single so why should enjoying some physical contact be the preserve of those in a 'relationship' all because religous dogma scewered the perception of what is morally right or wrong!!! After being celibate for most of my 20's I decided that if the opportunity arose with a guy I had great chemistry with and I liked, I went for it, thats happend only a few times in between relationships, but no regrets and certainly not damaged, if a guy thinks that of me, thats his own 'damaged' perception that he needs to deal with, life is too short, enjoy it but dont put yourself at risk, the right guy will like you regardless of your number(s)!!



    +1 icon_cool.gif
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    Apr 18, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    I may be single, but I'm not dead icon_eek.gif There is nothing wrong with some good clean fun when the mood strikes and opportunity knocks....within reason.
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    Apr 18, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    ATXnative said
    lol... omg the logic here is so fucked.
    Do squats, run, bike... youre butthole goes back.

    I don't understand how these guys hold off for years at a time, i start going stircrazy after no sex for a week or 2. Its not like your a girl with a cherry savin it for marriage.
    lol.. couldn't agree more with you!! icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 18, 2012 4:11 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar said
    ATXnative said
    lol... omg the logic here is so fucked.
    Do squats, run, bike... youre butthole goes back.

    I don't understand how these guys hold off for years at a time, i start going stircrazy after no sex for a week or 2. Its not like your a girl with a cherry savin it for marriage.
    lol.. couldn't agree more with you!! icon_razz.gif


    Yeh but sex is soooo much more enjoyable when there is a connection
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    Apr 18, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 said
    TellMeMoar said
    ATXnative said
    lol... omg the logic here is so fucked.
    Do squats, run, bike... youre butthole goes back.

    I don't understand how these guys hold off for years at a time, i start going stircrazy after no sex for a week or 2. Its not like your a girl with a cherry savin it for marriage.
    lol.. couldn't agree more with you!! icon_razz.gif


    Yeh but sex is soooo much more enjoyable when there is a connection
    True. But not on the other hand is it worth letting your life slip by waiting for that connection what may not happen? Remember you only have one life. Make the best of it. There are no do-overs. icon_wink.gif

    Also a person does not become more sexually desirable as they age. icon_confused.gif
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    Apr 18, 2012 4:16 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar said
    fhaynie81 said
    TellMeMoar said
    ATXnative said
    lol... omg the logic here is so fucked.
    Do squats, run, bike... youre butthole goes back.

    I don't understand how these guys hold off for years at a time, i start going stircrazy after no sex for a week or 2. Its not like your a girl with a cherry savin it for marriage.
    lol.. couldn't agree more with you!! icon_razz.gif


    Yeh but sex is soooo much more enjoyable when there is a connection
    True. But not on the other hand is it worth letting your life slip by waiting for that connection what may not happen? Remember you only have one life. Make the best of it. There are no do-overs. icon_wink.gif

    I'll take my chances for now : ) Not ready to rollover yet.
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    Apr 18, 2012 4:19 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 said
    TellMeMoar said
    ATXnative said
    lol... omg the logic here is so fucked.
    Do squats, run, bike... youre butthole goes back.

    I don't understand how these guys hold off for years at a time, i start going stircrazy after no sex for a week or 2. Its not like your a girl with a cherry savin it for marriage.
    lol.. couldn't agree more with you!! icon_razz.gif


    Yeh but sex is soooo much more enjoyable when there is a connection


    The OP is not about ways to enhance sexual pleasure.

    It is safe to say anyone with any experience will agree that sex with some sort of spiritual/intellectual/emotional connection is more fulfilling.

    The question relates to Religeous dogma specifically and social criticism generally.

    Do you tell yer Straight Buds to stay away from too much gash 'cuz HE might be considered "damaged goods?"

    Just askin'.

    icon_wink.gificon_wink.gificon_wink.gif