losing interest in a guy...online. too shallow?

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    Apr 19, 2012 7:47 AM GMT
    Ok, so i assume that most men on here have seen a guy, thought he looked hot and then you go to see him on cam and you loose interest. You may have thought he had fake pics, was not as hot in real life, or just wanted to jack off and you weren't down for that. whatever the reason you lost interest. is it okay to just end the conversation? or should you be less shallow than that?
    Also, if you are the one who gets left while the other person says "See'ya" do you retaliate or just not give a damn?
  • HPgeek934

    Posts: 970

    Apr 19, 2012 1:07 PM GMT
    Guys that disappear off the face of the earth (having met them in person several, or had a decent conversation with mutual flirtation online) are cowards in my opinion. How is it so hard to say "hey sorry, I'm not interested". Id respect you more of you did that.
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    Apr 19, 2012 1:08 PM GMT
    It's really not that hard to say "I'm not feeling it, sorry."
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    Apr 19, 2012 1:13 PM GMT
    7Famark saidIt's really not that hard to say "I'm not feeling it, sorry."


    This. It takes courage in a man to speak the truth, as uncomfortable as that truth may be.
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    Apr 19, 2012 1:13 PM GMT
    The OP is 21. He's playing by those rules that young men use. Others of us play by different rules. Neither are really wrong, just what you do at those ages.
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    Apr 19, 2012 1:16 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    7Famark saidIt's really not that hard to say "I'm not feeling it, sorry."


    This. It takes courage in a man to speak the truth, as uncomfortable as that truth may be.


    People don't like having those conversations, and I get it, but...

    At the end of the day, it allows the person to move on faster, and it is ultimately the most mature and responsible way to handle an otherwise uncomfortable situation.

    I've been there a ton of times...you're super interested in a guy, and he just isn't giving you the time of day, or is flat-out ignoring you...just tell me you aren't interested, and I'll move on.
  • GAYBIGMACHODU...

    Posts: 1359

    Apr 19, 2012 1:37 PM GMT
    I never done web cam dating or web cam chatting or web cam sex but I would
    love to doit someday thou.I have lost interested in other gay single men after
    chatting with them on realjock and other gay websites in the past.It is not
    shallow or selfish or closeminded to end it at all.You should be picky who
    you chat with online.I'm very picky who I chat with both online and offline
    these days and there is nothing wrong with that all.
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    Apr 19, 2012 1:48 PM GMT
    7Famark saidIt's really not that hard to say "I'm not feeling it, sorry."


    Am not Afraid of saying these words and have done when needed and would prefer if the other would do the same.
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    Apr 19, 2012 2:04 PM GMT
    7Famark saidIt's really not that hard to say "I'm not feeling it, sorry."
    agreed, have some balls
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    Apr 19, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    meh...
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    Apr 19, 2012 3:47 PM GMT
    asnextdoor said
    7Famark saidIt's really not that hard to say "I'm not feeling it, sorry."


    Am not Afraid of saying these words and have done when needed and would prefer if the other would do the same.


    But the sad thing is, is that they DONT do that. They can even be quite prude and mean about too. Thats my experience anyway. icon_sad.gif
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    Apr 19, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    7Famark saidI've been there a ton of times...you're super interested in a guy, and he just isn't giving you the time of day, or is flat-out ignoring you...just tell me you aren't interested, and I'll move on.
    But isn't that in itself his answer that he isn't interested?

    I've *shown* interest in some only to get the cold shoulder in return. I take it that his answer is 'not interested'. I don't need him to tell me the words, unless he is sending mixed signals. In which case he need to sort out his mind.
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    Apr 19, 2012 4:10 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar said
    7Famark saidI've been there a ton of times...you're super interested in a guy, and he just isn't giving you the time of day, or is flat-out ignoring you...just tell me you aren't interested, and I'll move on.
    But isn't that in itself his answer that he isn't interested?

    I've *shown* interest in some only to get the cold shoulder in return. I take it that his answer is 'not interested'. I don't need him to tell me the words, unless he is sending mixed signals. In which case he need to sort out his mind.


    This idot the other week was sending mixed signals. And I hate him for it. And especially lying about being "straight" what cheek. A fucking mean mind game playing prude.
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    Apr 19, 2012 5:16 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar said
    7Famark saidI've been there a ton of times...you're super interested in a guy, and he just isn't giving you the time of day, or is flat-out ignoring you...just tell me you aren't interested, and I'll move on.
    But isn't that in itself his answer that he isn't interested?

    I've *shown* interest in some only to get the cold shoulder in return. I take it that his answer is 'not interested'. I don't need him to tell me the words, unless he is sending mixed signals. In which case he need to sort out his mind.


    1. Wow, you're lowering yourself to speak to me? icon_eek.gif

    2. And no, it really isn't - because without definite closure or a firm answer, there's always that little glimmer of hope that is telling you "Maybe he is just really busy" or "Maybe he didn't get my texts" or whatever it may be.
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    Apr 19, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    7Famark saidIt's really not that hard to say "I'm not feeling it, sorry."

    Photobucket
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    Apr 19, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    7Famark said
    1. Wow, you're lowering yourself to speak to me? icon_eek.gif

    2. And no, it really isn't - because without definite closure or a firm answer, there's always that little glimmer of hope that is telling you "Maybe he is just really busy" or "Maybe he didn't get my texts" or whatever it may be.

    1) srsly??? Did I ever come across with a 'higher than thou' attitude with you ever? I never said I didn't like you. I actually said in another thread that I think deep down you are a nice guy. I guess you missed that one. icon_razz.gif

    2) I believe in something called 'taking a hint' as I don't need everything spelled out to me. I, for one, think I should be adept enough to read the signs and not always rely on being told. I guess it is just me as I tend to pay attention to actions as I believe actions speak louder than words.
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    Apr 19, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    Simon1973 said
    This idot the other week was sending mixed signals. And I hate him for it. And especially lying about being "straight" what cheek. A fucking mean mind game playing prude.

    mixed signals = big red flag = cut your losses and walk away
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    Apr 19, 2012 9:03 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar said
    7Famark said
    1. Wow, you're lowering yourself to speak to me? icon_eek.gif

    2. And no, it really isn't - because without definite closure or a firm answer, there's always that little glimmer of hope that is telling you "Maybe he is just really busy" or "Maybe he didn't get my texts" or whatever it may be.

    1) srsly??? Did I ever come across with a 'higher than thou' attitude with you ever? I never said I didn't like you. I actually said in another thread that I think deep down you are a nice guy. I guess you missed that one. icon_razz.gif

    2) I believe in something called 'taking a hint' as I don't need everything spelled out to me. I, for one, think I should be adept enough to read the signs and not always rely on being told. I guess it is just me as I tend to pay attention to actions as I believe actions speak louder than words.


    1. Absolutely

    2. Okay, feisty mcgee...good for you. I'm glad nobody has ever led you on when they weren't really interested.
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    Apr 19, 2012 9:17 PM GMT
    I tend to be brutally honest ... without even really intending on being brutal about it. Reckon I watch for that a little more carefully, heheh.

    By the same token, I like that kind of honesty for the most part, as in:

    - Went on a date with a really hot Chinese guy, after a couple of cancellations due to work and such (one for him, one for me). I *thought* we hit it off just fine talking at the restaurant - and after a walk down by Chelsea Piers, I offered to walk him back to his place.

    He then told me that he did not think we'd be a good match, but that it was a fun date.

    I was a little surprised, but not butthurt over it - as he was direct and up front.

    He could have just as easily parted company and left me to figure out his disinterest by ignoring / refusing further contact - which is a bit of an aggravating, pussy kind of way of doing things.
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    Apr 19, 2012 10:39 PM GMT
    Sadly, shallowness, cowardice and dishonesty are rampant in the gay male community. It's rampant in the general population but the gay community seems to have cranked it up a notch. Not sure why. One of the reasons I've given up on dating and meeting guys online for anything other than friendship. I've been led on and rejected so many times, I've lost track. It seems to boil down to sex. Either a guy only wants to have sex with you and is gone after he gets what he wants, changes his mind about wanting to have sex with you and drops off the planet or doesn't want to have sex with you and won't even talk to you. Gay guys miss out on so much in life and treat people horribly just because they're so obsessed about sex. Maybe it's not just a gay guy problem but a guy problem. Not sure. I think I'm going to turn into a lesbian. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 19, 2012 11:22 PM GMT
    #Lesbians

    #TrollingDaMonogamyPolice

    Now there's a group that is naturally suited for monogamy