Getting stood up..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2012 7:19 PM GMT
    Is so very rude and humiliating!

    Had a date with a guy tonight and he didnt show up, didnt even text me or answer my calls, and he was the one who demanded to meet.

    It feels stupid for waiting on someone who's not gonna show up, and u keep wondering why.

    I wonder if there are any good excuses for getting somebody stood up, maybe jerks always have excuses.
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    Apr 19, 2012 7:36 PM GMT
    No excuse for such rudeness. You deserve better. Hugs.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2012 8:02 PM GMT
    Unless he was hit by a bus or was abducted by a UFO, then no.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2012 8:10 PM GMT
    Yeah, unless there was involuntary confinement or injury, there isn't any excuse. And there's a special level in hell for people like that. icon_wink.gif

    EDIT: But be thankful you know NOW. No further time wasted! icon_smile.gif
  • chi_rock

    Posts: 207

    Apr 19, 2012 8:18 PM GMT
    It's an awful feeling to get stood up, but it happens to everyone from time to time. As was said earlier, at least now you know to avoid him.
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    Apr 19, 2012 8:25 PM GMT
    Frankly, I have experienced it so many times that I don't mind it anymore at all.
  • muscle4same

    Posts: 21

    Apr 19, 2012 8:32 PM GMT
    I get stood up all the time...on average, I've been stood up 8 times out of 10.
    standing someone up is just plain rude! Anyone can call or text and say, "I'm sorry, but I cannot make it," or, "I'm sorry but I've changed my mind."
    The only good thing about being stood up is that you just learned what a jerk the guy is and chances are, he's done it to many guys before you and OS developing a reputation for himself.
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    Apr 19, 2012 9:15 PM GMT
    Yeah, it's pretty deflating to be sitting by yourself waiting. How cowardly do you have to be to not even send a text?
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    Apr 19, 2012 9:35 PM GMT
    Agreed.
    Idea: meet at a place you want to visit or that you find interesting and, if the other person doesn't show up, you can always enjoy it by yourself icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 19, 2012 9:36 PM GMT
    Stuttershock saidYeah, it's pretty deflating to be sitting by yourself waiting. How cowardly do you have to be to not even send a text?

    Yeah, and what others have said here.

    But, since it's happened to others of us here, me included, you realize what that tells you, right?

    That's it's not about YOU, but about HIM! You're good, you're OK, this is not your failing.

    Some guys are jerks, and you just ran into one. We all do at some point.

    So keep your dignity, your self-respect and your image. And go right back out there, as proud & confident as you ever were. Don't let this loser intimidate you.

    OK?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2012 9:38 PM GMT
    yep been stood up many times - it's a dead give away that the guy has misrepresented himself and is too gutless to front up - make sure you plan to meet at a venue you know is full of hot men - i do and there is at least a dozen fall back positions :-)
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    Apr 19, 2012 9:49 PM GMT
    ozmuscle2 saidyep been stood up many times - it's a dead give away that the guy has misrepresented himself and is too gutless to front up - make sure you plan to meet at a venue you know is full of hot men - i do and there is at least a dozen fall back positions :-)


    Quote for truth. Or a mall, that way you can go buy stuff for a while, pamper yourself.
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    Apr 19, 2012 9:58 PM GMT
    justlovefootball said
    Art_Deco said
    Stuttershock saidYeah, it's pretty deflating to be sitting by yourself waiting. How cowardly do you have to be to not even send a text?

    Yeah, and what others have said here.

    But, since it's happened to others of us here, me included, you realize what that tells you, right?

    That's it's not about YOU, but about HIM! You're good, you're OK, this is not your failing.

    Some guys are jerks, and you just ran into one. We all do at some point.

    So keep your dignity, your self-respect and your image. And go right back out there, as proud & confident as you ever were. Don't let this loser intimidate you.

    OK?

    Do you think the behavior of not showing up to dates is more prevalent amongst the right wing army?

    The right wing army? Who are they? Please explain.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2012 10:05 PM GMT
    showme saidNo excuse for such rudeness. You deserve better. Hugs.
    This*^
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 19, 2012 11:59 PM GMT
    You seem smart and cute. His loss. Move on, but feel sorry for the poor loser for a little while if it helps.
  • GWriter

    Posts: 1446

    Apr 20, 2012 2:25 AM GMT
    daviddoublebay saidIt's absolutely rude... and hurtful, but in some rare cases it might be worth giving some consideration as to *why* he might have backed out before writing him off completely.

    I recently went on a first date with a guy... just dinner and a drive-in movie (Hunger Games). Anyway... it was nice, holding hands...intimate... a little kissing at the end. Nice, sweet guy.

    But when we were supposed to meet again to spend the day together (and he planned to spend the night, too), he texted he was going to be late. Then texted again he was going to be later.... texted again he was going to be even later and then just didn't show up at all.

    I can't say yet whether or not I'd plan anything with him again, but he did text me the next day just to say that he was nervous and got a little freaked out about actually planning a night over.

    I'd say that being nervous is the more common reason for flaking-out rather than just not giving a damn..... and embarrassment is mostly the reason for guys not texting or calling to tell you the real reason why.

    So as upsetting and hurtful that being stood up can be... there may be more underlying issues rather than simply that the guy is an ass. If you really like him a lot... and think that he's a good guy... maybe it's worth giving it another shot.

    It's nice to try to put a positive gloss on this, but I've been stood up, and I'm not as forgiving. I really don't see how someone can be too embarrassed to send a text saying, "Hey, something came up. I'm ok, but I can't make it."
    It's just lame.
  • melloyello

    Posts: 149

    Apr 20, 2012 2:32 AM GMT
    Wow that sux. I've had that happen a couple times (along with a couple guys who flaked out online when we exchanged pics). I'm cool with the fact that I'm not everyones type (a horse for every post for lack of a better phrase) but c'mon, you can at least say "Hey, not gonna work out."

    That said, you're really cute. You can do better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 20, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    yup, he's a DOUCHEBAG

    don't even call/txt to ask for an explanation. delete from your list of contacts, get rid of the emails, move on. if he contacts you again, just ignore.

    if something legitimate happened (an accident, trapped in an elevator, phone battery died, abducted by aliens, etc.) he'll contact you ASAP to explain.

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    Apr 20, 2012 2:41 AM GMT
    Dates are all about "education" and "learning".....you just learned something about the guy that stood you up and you also just got a good general pointer on guys that demand a date......they are self centered jerks.... Hugs and don't waste another second fretting over this guy. Better is out there for you!
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    Apr 20, 2012 2:42 AM GMT
    kingmo saidyup, he's a DOUCHEBAG

    don't even call/txt to ask for an explanation. delete from your list of contacts, get rid of the emails, move on. if he contacts you again, just ignore.

    if something legitimate happened (an accident, trapped in an elevator, phone battery died, abducted by aliens, etc.) he'll contact you ASAP to explain.




    And even if he calls with an explanation don't accept it. There is no excuse unless he died before your date. It seriously takes 10 seconds to send a text and say, "Hey I'm sorry I won't be able to make it... I will explain later"
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    Apr 20, 2012 3:20 AM GMT
    Oh thanks guys. I stupidly sent him a facebook message to say how rude he is. Then woke up this morning seeing him unfriend me already. So i met a total big jerk.

    And yes i agree that it's quite a bad experience, now i know how it feels like getting stood up and that there are jerks out there so i should just be prepared, life never ceases to amaze me.

    Sometimes i wonder why people just don't freaking say what they think and why is it so hard to be nice and normal?
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    Jun 03, 2012 2:58 AM GMT
    tyklong saidOh thanks guys. I stupidly sent him a facebook message to say how rude he is. Then woke up this morning seeing him unfriend me already. So i met a total big jerk.

    And yes i agree that it's quite a bad experience, now i know how it feels like getting stood up and that there are jerks out there so i should just be prepared, life never ceases to amaze me.

    Sometimes i wonder why people just don't freaking say what they think and why is it so hard to be nice and normal?


    Yeah.. typical. They just don't like it when someone pulls them up on their rude behaviour. It also shows he is guilty too. icon_smile.gif

    Thats why I don't like, nor am I on Facebook any longer. A lot of those guys are smug jerks. And more than one of them stood me up too.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    wait... you kept him as a friend on facebook even after being stood up???

    I tend to eliminate the wishy-washy types by the 2nd or 3rd message, so it's never happened to me, and I've never stood up anyone either... at least the ones within a reasonable age range, that is.

    Though I do have a lot of fun sending 45-65 year old racists treking to random isolated locations, sometimes repeatedly if they're forgiving/desperate enough lol.
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    Jun 03, 2012 3:31 AM GMT
    hottop88 saidwait... you kept him as a friend on facebook even after being stood up???

    I tend to eliminate the wishy-washy types by the 2nd or 3rd message, so it's never happened to me, and I've never stood up anyone either... at least the ones within a reasonable age range, that is.

    Though I do have a lot of fun sending 45-65 year old racists treking to random isolated locations, sometimes repeatedly if they're forgiving/desperate enough lol.


    Oh that's smart, I am going to do that icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jun 03, 2012 3:36 AM GMT
    Yep, it sucks. My last stood up was last Halloween. As if it's not humiliating enough to get stood up under regular circumstances, try being in full costume while the guy has you waiting like an imbecile. Full costume which you only got into for this date with him, full costume which you pretty much just end up removing without having done anything with it.