Is it wrong to feel suicidal after being alone for so long?

  • NeonEvil

    Posts: 35

    Apr 20, 2012 5:51 PM GMT
    icon_cry.gif
  • NeonEvil

    Posts: 35

    Apr 20, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    SiGh.

    Good to have that support out there lol. Stupid place to post my sadness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 20, 2012 6:02 PM GMT
    Don't feel suicidal. We all go through stretches when things aren't going well. Think about what has led you to your current situation. Is there anything you can fix right now? Have about seeing a therapist? Therapy has worked for me.
  • NeonEvil

    Posts: 35

    Apr 20, 2012 6:10 PM GMT
    I've seen councellors in the past. They are usually very nice, I've been through phases of suicidal feelings on and off for years, been on anti depressents, getting off pot 8 months ago and not drinking much and going to the gym every 2 days now I do feel better.

    But there are times when I just want to throw it all out the window. I've been alone for years, watch my mates all have there fun with their fair share of woman and guys, meanwhile I just sit on the sidelines, entertaining people, but being the lonely guy in my group.

    I'm not going to do anything stupid now, so no stress, but I just wonder how long it will be till I just can't take it anymore, till something sends me over the edge and I come out of depression I can't win that time... icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 20, 2012 6:17 PM GMT
    Sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It's good that you're posting here because at least you have an outlet for your feelings. Don't be down.
  • NeonEvil

    Posts: 35

    Apr 20, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    I can try. Its 4am here in Aus. Trying to positive this late is foolish I feel, I guess I should go to sleep and wish I could wake up somewhere different and better.
  • NeonEvil

    Posts: 35

    Apr 20, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    Or death could be good, fuck knows where I'll go, if I'll ever go somewhere better than where I am. So sick of being alone! God... damn life.
  • mikeylikes

    Posts: 53

    Apr 20, 2012 9:20 PM GMT
    Please get yourself some help. I'm sure lots of people here have experienced what you are going through at one point or another. The important thing you have to remember is that these feelings pass. I know it's been a while, but just keep on working to improve yourself and the rest will fall in line. If you love yourself, other people will like you too, but if you hate yourself, it'll be hard for other people to not feed off that.

    The best advice I can give is that time heals all wounds. I'm sure there have been times in your life where you felt like whatever thing you were feeling at the moment was so insurmountable that you wish you just wouldn't wake up in the morning. But somewhere down the road, whatever issue that was stopped really mattering, and you had a good laugh about how messed up you were over something that was so trivial. This is of course not some trivial matter, but these feelings are only temporary, and you will get to a point somewhere in the future where you will have someone and laugh about how you were so down and out when all you had to do was wait a bit. Try to improve your outlook, and definitely seek professional help.

    Also, in the US, we have the Trevor Project, which is a suicide hotline for LGBT folk who are having suicidal thoughts. I don't know what you might have in Australia that provides the same service, but I'm sure there are organizations out there with people waiting to talk to people like yourself and remind you that your life is worth living.

    Finally, don't forget that death doesn't hurt the person dying, it hurts the people left behind. You say you have mates and that you are making everyone laugh, which means that if you decide to end your life, you will be removing yourself from their lives. Everytime your mates meet up, they will be reminded that they no longer have you. They will never get to laugh and smile with you again, and likewise you will never experience that again. They will feel they failed you. You will crush them. The same goes for your family. I know it sounds easy to just let go and die, but trust me, it's not just you that you're killing. You destroy a lot of lives along with your own.


  • Apr 21, 2012 12:15 AM GMT
    Life is difficult. If you want to suicide, I won't give you phony advice that you should not do it because there is much to live for, or things will get better, or there are people who love you and will be sad when you are gone. You have to understand life has really little meaning because we are less than a speck of dust in the grand scheme of things. Whether one exists or disappears has no true value.

    If you think life is shitty now, it most likely will continue to get worse. We get old. We get sick. People important to us dying one by one. Well, death is a solution. How to get there is the problem. There is no 100% guarantee way that one can suicide without pain, fear, and chance of failure. Image trying to suicide, fail to die, yet hurting yourself permanently. Life is a bitch.

    My advice to you, if it may give you a meaning to live, is to be selfish, especially since you are determined that you are pretty much alone anyway. Educate yourself, get a good job, earn money, spend it, be happy. If you accumulate enough happiness and want to live longer, then even better. If you die now, people won't care, or worse, they will harvest your organs for medical purpose, use you as media material for gay right, or other methods that won't help you, since you are dead by then anyway. Don't let people who don't care about you benefit from you. Don't die like a piece of meat. Hold on to your life and use it for yourself.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 21, 2012 8:29 AM GMT
    Mate I hope everything is better today.
    I read that your in Hobart?
    If you are there is a fantastic group called - The League of Gentlemen, they meet regularly and can also help point you in the right direction to get some help. Or just be there to listen to you.

    They are a really great bunch of guys, pretty much a good representation of all types of men. Its not cruisey and they'd be more than willing to help.
  • NeonEvil

    Posts: 35

    Apr 21, 2012 10:36 AM GMT
    Thanks for all the advice guys

    I've been into therapy before and I figure its a lot easier talking to guys that may of gone through the same thing, than someone that just can dissect what your going through.

    Last night was a blue night for me, and believe it or I've been improving a great deal getting over these feeling's, getting fitter and stronger. Reality can be a bitch, I know that everyone has had there unfair share of problems, life does go on. Sometimes I just need someone to remind me how I need to face these dilemmas.

    I know its easier to be selfish than it is to care, and too an extent I have been, focusing on my own problems and not others, but as I'm slowly recovering that a way to make my way feel better is to help others with there problems, I'm helping me, by helping them.

    Anti depressants are useful, but unfortunately the take away my motivation to change which is just part of evolving, I don't want to be the same person I was 10 years ago.

    I'm really waiting for the right guy to come along, I'm a nerd, but I'm a social nerd, I love making friends, in the meantime I'll continue to and be reminded to by the community here and elsewhere to keep on going, to keep improving and make myself a stronger individual.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 21, 2012 5:27 PM GMT
    Life is a roller coaster with ups that take effort, with downs that can be scary, with exhilarating turns, with stretches for coasting: so sometimes, when things look rough, just ride it out, and before you know it, you're on another section of track.

    You're obviously a bright young man, and sometimes the brighter you are the more you need to bounce ideas off others. Do not hesitate to seek help when you need it. Certainly utilize the healthcare system if you've some sort of chemical imbalance.

    But also medicate yourself with proper thinking. Use your thoughts as prescriptions. Create correct connections in your brain to bridge yourself over troubled waters.

    Here is a thought that might help. It is so simple to say yet so difficult to practice. I have been studying this one thought for years and still I grapple to grasp it, but it has bridged some troubled times....

    "If suffering can be corrected, then there's no need to be despondent. and if it cannot be remedied, there is no benefit even if one becomes unhappy." ~~Shantideva
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 21, 2012 11:07 PM GMT
    I hope you feel better. You're stilll very young and I'm certain that many good things will happen to you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 23, 2012 3:31 AM GMT
    NeonEvil saidicon_cry.gif


    I've been alone all my life so far as well (and I'm much older than you are ;) ). I don't have much advice, but what I learned so far is:

    You have to take care of yourself, because nobody else will/can do it for you. Try to be comfortable with yourself (make your home nice and comfortable) and you will find it easier to open up towards others.

    For me, personally, suicide isn't a solution. And what comes after death? As someone wrote before, there is much more to live for in this life.

    This book helped me a lot: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Tibetan_Book_of_Living_and_Dying
  • NeonEvil

    Posts: 35

    Apr 26, 2012 2:42 PM GMT
    Again, thanks for all the advice! Things have been getting better icon_biggrin.gif A little bumpy, but I'm learning to be happy with myself.
  • NeonEvil

    Posts: 35

    Apr 26, 2012 2:49 PM GMT
    Its interesting, asking this question here, I've found that everyone has some decent advice that seems very clear.

    Today I was thinking about my mum, who passed away on my birthday several years ago and I picture her wanting something good out of my life. And I don't want to let her down.

    The world is a dark place, but at night it lights up when I come here, in this world we are thrown into one can only grasp at straws, and lucky me I got a whole bunch.

    Thank you soo much guys, I really apreciate all the advice and I know it might seem meaningless coming from a random forum poster, from the bottom of the world, but you are good people and just like that you've helped someone from thousands of miles away. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 26, 2012 2:59 PM GMT
    NeonEvil saidIts interesting, asking this question here, I've found that everyone has some decent advice that seems very clear.

    Today I was thinking about my mum, who passed away on my birthday several years ago and I picture her wanting something good out of my life. And I don't want to let her down.

    The world is a dark place, but at night it lights up when I come here, in this world we are thrown into one can only grasp at straws, and lucky me I got a whole bunch.

    Thank you soo much guys, I really apreciate all the advice and I know it might seem meaningless coming from a random forum poster, from the bottom of the world, but you are good people and just like that you've helped someone from thousands of miles away. icon_smile.gif


    That is so good to hear. Remember we all have our dark moments. Don't let a moment of weakness set the tone for the rest of your life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Apr 30, 2012 10:55 PM GMT
    I am living in a foreign country,it's not easy to live in a much different country. sometimes feel lonely but I always keep in mind that "Life is a box of chocolates". I will never give up until no chocolates for me icon_smile.gif). Life sometimes sucks but just like the bitter taste of your chocolates, you will like it then...Believe me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 01, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    I hope you continue to feel better. Even for a person who is on a great winning streak, there are down times. Nobody I know has a great time of things all the time. Think of the people you might know of who seem to have it made. Think of their lives and how they are doing so well. If you know them well enough, there is some sorrow in the mix no doubt. You'll continue to feel better and not lonely as you keep exercising and taking care of yourself. When we feel good about ourselves, it projects to those we meet. Just keep going and enjoy the good each day. When I'm a bit down, I might go for a walk/run with my dog and just kick myself into gear that way. Even blue skies and huge old trees at the parks can give me a lift. Exercise does it for me and although that is not everything, it can really help. Good luck!