How to make a move?

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    Apr 21, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    Okay, so here is my situation. I started going to this starbucks to do school work and etc. and there is this barista that I am infatuated with. Its not that I want to get in his pants or w.e, he just seems like such a cool, nice guy. This is the first I have gotten a crush on someone in 5 years, so it kinda is a big deal haha.

    I know he is gay, just by the way he acts and etc. #gaydaricon_lol.gif. I have been going there regularly this week and he started to notice me. We say hi and today he asked for my name (he did it in a way so he can remember me) and I told him my name, and I asked for his blah blah blah. I think he realizes I have a crush on him and I think he might have a crush on me, idk haha.

    So anyways, what is the best way to strike a conversation with this guy? I tried one time by saying "How did you spike your hair and etc." but that kinda ended soon because I got nervous icon_redface.gif. I am a shy person when it comes to meeting new people and I try to hide my emotions and act cool and easy going, but things can slip out. lol

    Any advice? Thanks! icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 21, 2012 2:27 AM GMT
    Ask him if he has gone on break yet and ask him if he would not spending his break with you and a cup of joe. ;) If that works then ask what he is doing after work. Break the ice by asking him what he likes to drink.
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    Apr 21, 2012 2:28 AM GMT
    meant to say *not mind* spendng his time with you and a cup of joe. Wish I could edit my last post.

    Hope I helped. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 21, 2012 5:03 AM GMT
    Just remember that you're in his place of employment.
    Don't do anything that will cause him to lose his job.

    When you go in to order your drink, thank him, then ask him his name.
    Observe and note the times when he comes and goes from work.
    Watch from which direction he enters the Starbucks.
    Follow him home, note the address.
    Post a "Missed Connection" on Craigslist.

    If he does not answer...

    Move in a few doors from where he lives.
    Just as he's leaving work, be walking in the same direction. Chat him up.
    Invite him over to your pad. "What a coincidence! We virtually live in the same place!"
    Offer him a drink. Be ready with the roofie.
    Chain him to the bed. He's yours...FOREVER!

    Whatever you do, don't appear creepy.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2012 5:24 AM GMT
    Doesn't Starbucks always ask for your name when you order your drink?
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    Apr 21, 2012 9:37 AM GMT
    This thread is adorable, and I totally understand it. My complicating factor is that I tend to use my nickname, Woody, so the cute guy shouts 'Woody' across the store and I have put my hand up...icon_redface.gif
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    Apr 21, 2012 9:42 AM GMT
    EastCoastNAZ saidDoesn't Starbucks always ask for your name when you order your drink?

    Wat?

    Why would they need to know your name? icon_eek.gif

    EDIT: Nevermind, I think the answer lies in the post above me...
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    Apr 21, 2012 10:10 AM GMT
    Truppensturm said
    EastCoastNAZ saidDoesn't Starbucks always ask for your name when you order your drink?

    Wat?

    Why would they need to know your name? icon_eek.gif

    EDIT: Nevermind, I think the answer lies in the post above me...


    Because they take multiple orders at once, write your name on the cup, and call you when yours is ready.
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    Apr 21, 2012 10:22 AM GMT
    but to help the OP, possibly to choose a time when there is no line behind you, and joke it up, ask him who buys his coffees for him?
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    Apr 21, 2012 11:12 AM GMT
    "I'll be sitting over there [point to where you will be sitting] for the next hour. If you get a break, come say hi."

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    Apr 21, 2012 12:23 PM GMT
    mmmmm.... give him a smile and look him in the eye whenever you're dealing with him. Also, comment nice hair or something else you find attractive on him. I go into starbucks all the time now. Funny i naturally smile all the time and the one guy took his break and sat right down with me and chatted me up. Great place to meet guys..... kind of a magnet place....aaaahhhhhh good luck... don't be shy
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    Apr 21, 2012 12:32 PM GMT
    flirting is an art.







    and its very, very important to me
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    Apr 21, 2012 12:36 PM GMT
    dash_8 said"I'll be sitting over there [point to where you will be sitting] for the next hour. If you get a break, come say hi."



    THIS!
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    Apr 21, 2012 12:39 PM GMT
    dash_8 said"I'll be sitting over there [point to where you will be sitting] for the next hour. If you get a break, come say hi."



    yea this will work too. you have nothing to lose! Fuck YEAH!!!
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Apr 21, 2012 12:40 PM GMT
    My advice is to be cautious about your approach, especially since you're a regular at this Starbucks and this is his place of employment.

    Also, you need to be careful, because you may be confusing friendliness with attraction.
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    Apr 21, 2012 12:42 PM GMT
    If you want them, don't acknowledge them... if you need attention whores it works. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 21, 2012 12:44 PM GMT
    creature saidMy advice is to be cautious about your approach, especially since you're a regular at this Starbucks and this is his place of employment.

    Also, you need to be careful, because you may be confusing friendliness with attraction.

    This.
    Think it through. icon_smile.gif
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    Apr 21, 2012 1:44 PM GMT
    Wow..thanks for all the responses everyone! Usually when I'm at the Starbucks I order my drink and I sit down and do my work. However, when I work I usually glance up at the guy or w.e

    Based off of what I am reading is that when he is on break, I should offer to buy him a cup of coffee. Let's hope I can get past all my nervousness to do that!
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    Apr 21, 2012 2:16 PM GMT
    Self confidence is sexy to most people. Be direct, be honest. Smile from that place in yourself that is attracted to him. Know what it is that you find attractive in him. Tell him. Ask him a question that points in the direction of your interest and the next step out on a date will follow naturally.

    You never, ever have anything to lose when you speak your truth. He's either going to adore it in you or not. If he's not available or interested in getting to know you the least you've accomplished is you've put some kind energy out into the world.

    Smile. Go for it.

  • xebec75

    Posts: 243

    Apr 21, 2012 2:50 PM GMT
    ^this

    and when you approach him, think of him as a doorway into the next part of your life instead of as goal or accomplishment. It might help take the pressure off. Maybe he'll say "no, I'm taken" but tell this story to his friend who is single who turns out to date you in the future...the possibilities are endless...

    My ex and I met at Starbucks...he left his card for me with a co-worker when I wasn't there...I called him a week later and then we dated for three years....
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    Apr 21, 2012 3:34 PM GMT
    i once had a crush on a video store clerk. over time we'd do the same thing that you are doing with your barrista - we'd recognise each other, make eye contact and talk and smile. i'm totally shy and i was conscious that he was at work and there were coworkers to be aware of (didn't want to get him into trouble). so i'd hang out and browse the shelves, sometimes we'd chat between customers about movies, or funny regular customers, or whatever was going on in our lives. short conversations but it was clear we were both trying to maximize our interactions.

    anyways, through our little conversations, i found out that we had some things in common in our taste of film - especially a love of foreign films. so one day while i was browsing the foreign film rack he came by to say hi and put some dvds back on the rack and i figured this was my moment. the right context, a bit of privacy, he came over to me, etc. so i told him i really wanted to see a new film from Spain (by Pedro Almodovar - whom I love) but i didn't have anyone to go with and would he be interested in going with me? he said yes and he totally made my day! then he went back to work behind the counter and when i came to pay for my dvds he slipped me his number on a piece of paper. funny thing is when we exchanged numbers, he told me that i had made his day! i called him the next day and we arranged to meet up for the movie. we had a great time on our date! the movie was great, we went out for drinks and dinner after to talk about it, and then walked home together and there was a kiss at the end. not much came of it after that because we're actually quite far apart in age, but it was a great date and we are still friends who chat and/or get together now and then!
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    Apr 21, 2012 3:40 PM GMT
    Next time you go strike up a conversation when ordering your drink and just be Confidant and you'll get what you wanticon_biggrin.gif

    I'm confidant as shit icon_wink.gif and I'm amazing LOL!
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2605

    Apr 21, 2012 3:44 PM GMT
    Just be yourself. I`ve found sincerity/authenticity is amazingly attractive in meeting guys.

    More practically, find some interest you share with him, a leisure pursuit, etc. It`ll distract you a bit from the sexual side of things and allow you to get to know him more fully.

    Best wishes!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2012 3:45 PM GMT
    Just be careful since this is where he works. Even if you think he's "obviously" gay he might not be out to coworkers. So if you start hitting on him while he's working he might just get nervous and shut you down because of the environment.
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    Apr 21, 2012 3:48 PM GMT
    iracetris saidSelf confidence is sexy to most people. Be direct, be honest. Smile from that place in yourself that is attracted to him. Know what it is that you find attractive in him. Tell him. Ask him a question that points in the direction of your interest and the next step out on a date will follow naturally.

    You never, ever have anything to lose when you speak your truth. He's either going to adore it in you or not. If he's not available or interested in getting to know you the least you've accomplished is you've put some kind energy out into the world.

    Smile. Go for it.



    This is great advice - and it has worked for me over the years - many times. The only thing I can add for places like Starbucks, Peet's Coffee, or other outdoor cafes is to bring along your friendly dog. The dog is the ice breaker! People will gravitate toward you and you start conversations with each other over the dog. Then, if it is someone you're interested in, you take it a step further and extend the conversation.
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