Crushing on Straight friend.

  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Apr 21, 2012 5:46 AM GMT
    I know that this is very cliche with many gay guys, but I cannot help myself. I have a very handsome, beefy friend who I cant stop thinking about. I keep having dreams about him where we end up kissing. I thought he was gay for the longest time given he never dated a girl and he's 21, but now he's in a relationship with this girl and I'm losing hope. How do I get over him given I see him often? I also am not around many gay guys and have a lot of straight friends who know about me including the guy I'm crushing on. Any thoughts?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2012 1:08 PM GMT
    There must be things you don't find attractive about him...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2012 1:11 PM GMT
    ry77 saidThere must be things you don't find attractive about him...


    This. A guy is always hot when you're only looking at the aspects you're attracted to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2012 1:12 PM GMT
    Get yourself a real boyfriend.
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    Apr 21, 2012 5:33 PM GMT
    First thing is First, accept you can not have him. Second channell your attraction for this guy and go out looking for someone else. As you meet new guys the existing crush should diminish, which will allow you to be friends with him without the awkwardness of wanting him to fuck you lol. I hope this helps
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Apr 21, 2012 6:27 PM GMT
    It sucks because I can't find much that isn't attractive about him. It's not just looks. He's a really sweet caring guy who actually gives a shit about his friends. He's always really nice. I've been trying to fuel my attraction into someone else, just it's hard finding gay guys I like in my area. Most guys just want sex and I'm not looking for that. I want a relationship with someone who looks at me more than my body.
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    Apr 21, 2012 6:36 PM GMT
    One of the easiest ways to get over him is to focus on being happy for him in his relationship with his girlfriend, and hanging out with them as a couple as much as possible. If you're not as close to her, you may want to spend some time with her to get to know her and like her. This really helps you almost feel like you're hurting her by thinking of your friend in a romantic way, so it'll help stop those thoughts.
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Apr 21, 2012 6:42 PM GMT
    She is almost never around since she is at school and I never hang out with them together. I think I've seen them together once or twice honestly.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11832

    Apr 21, 2012 7:15 PM GMT
    Str8 guys are like candy laced with poison for gays..It tastes sweet goin down but in the end...YOU'RE FUCKED.....my quote
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Apr 21, 2012 7:22 PM GMT
    Yeah its a sad truth.
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    Apr 21, 2012 7:33 PM GMT
    Tell him your situation, that you have a crush on him, you can't help it and you want to get over it. Then ask him to go number two on your chest, that should knock him off your mind's pedistal.
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    Apr 21, 2012 7:35 PM GMT
    Stuttershock said...Then ask him to go number two on your chest,...

    That is some nastyass advice I've ever read, but I think that might do it.
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    Apr 21, 2012 7:50 PM GMT
    You have a crush... it came fast and it will go fast. But you really can't do anything to make yourself not crush on him.

    You can control yourself and you can still be around him. You're still going to have feelings for him. You went through the "maybe he's gay" phase without confessing your crush, so I'd say you're in the clear.

    Just wait it out and like someone suggested getting a boyfriend would be a good idea imo.
  • mikeylikes

    Posts: 53

    Apr 22, 2012 1:16 AM GMT
    yeah i had a huge crush on one of my best friends for a long time, like well over a year. for me, though, it was because I didn't have any healthy outlets for my same sex feelings so they gravitated towards the only males I saw, and since most of that time was spent drunk or something i wasn't always thinking straight.

    i agree that you should try to meet actual gay guys and not waste your efforts looking for possibilities of gayness in presumably straight ones. even if he is gay and pretending to be straight and is not ready to admit that to even himself, then you'll just set yourself up for a long road of messed up emotions.

    do yourself a favor and just let this friendship stay and friendship and don't dwell on it. the only thing you can do is lose this friendship by pursuing a relationship with someone who is straight.

    once i started meeting gay guys, my feelings for the straight guys vanished. gay men are way sexier cuz they can actually return some feelings and theres the possibility of sex
  • BlueMoose

    Posts: 237

    Apr 23, 2012 4:06 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone for the helpful comments. I won't ever try to pursue him as a potential bf and will try to keep my feelings under wraps. I do need to expose myself to more gay guys just dont live in a very populated area.
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    Apr 23, 2012 4:22 AM GMT
    Try to get over it. If you keep lettings the feelings grow, then you will only be crushed in the end when things don't go your way. Trust me, it's not worth losing your friendship over.
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    Apr 23, 2012 4:31 AM GMT
    i had a massive crush on my friend - a cute italian cubbish guy. we were best friends, hung out a lot, we worked together, sometimes gymmed together too. he was totally straight though, and it didn't help that he would get affectionate with me (like nuzzly, hand-holdy) when he had a drink or two in him (fuckin italians!).

    of course everyone thought we were could've been messing around. but they were wrong it was strictly platonic, even though we did see each other naked at the gym or while crashing at one anothers house after a night out, etc.

    after months of semi-secretly crushing on him, i dealt with it by being totally upfront about it (after a few drinks while having dinner together). i told him i really liked him and thought maybe there was a chance between us. he was polite and said he was totally straight but loved our friendship. and then it just became neutralised - my attraction shifted from lust to bromance, and the whole thing became a running joke between us.

    i'd say, "why can't you be gay?" he'd say, "why can't you be a girl?" i'd reply, "it would be easier for you to be gay than for me to be a girl!" or "i'll wrestle you - loser bottoms." or he'd stay over and i'd say "hey no monkey business, i'm not that kind of guy!" he'd be my wing man looking for hot guys, i'd be his wing man introducing him to pretty girls. it deepened our friendship.

    anyways, sometimes we create things in our own heads and they seem pretty real. but getting them out into the open provides a new perspective on things which causes you to see things differently. can you talk to your buddy about this?
  • djzilla

    Posts: 138

    Apr 24, 2012 1:45 PM GMT
    I think my relationship with my straight crush is heading EXACTLY to the type that kingmo has. God I hope it does....

    I do find it hilarious that he thinks it's funny people at work think I'm trying to convert him. He's like "Dude we totally have to play that up!" My response is of course....yes please!!!!!

    I can't imagine a day without my bromance though....