I Don't Want to Pretend Like This Never Happened, But I Need Advice


  • Apr 21, 2012 6:02 AM GMT
    Alright...so I've been friends with this guy since the beginning of this year. Recently we've been spending more time together and I have a crush on him.

    A few nights ago he invited me over for a movie and it was in his bedroom (of course) icon_surprised.gif. So we watched the movie and shared a blanket but we were both on our own sides of the bed. After the movie was over, he was really tired so I said I would drive home. But he insisted that he would stay up and watch TV with me. Instead, I said that we should take a nap and I can drive home later.

    So we got under the covers...pretty close and snug. Then he reached for my arm and pulled it across his chest. We cuddled and we fell asleep for a while. After a couple hours, I woke up and told him that I should probably be going now (I really did have to go for work in the morning). He turned around to face me and brought his head close to mine. We kinda layed in silence for a minute...but then I kissed him. It felt right so I went for it. We didn't have a make out session, we just kissed a few times on the lips. Then he rolled on top of me and layed on me. I wrapped my arms around him and held him for a few minutes. Then he said, "allright- well you should get going now before it gets too late," and rolled out of bed. Then I got my things together and drove back.

    I've seen and hung out with him in a public setting a few times since then, and nothing has been weird between us. Everything is normal! But we haven't talked about what happened that night at all...it's almost like it never happened.

    So yesterday I suggested that we watch another movie at his place...kinda hoping to continue where we left off. He said sure thing, but this is where things get kinda confusing for me. Before and during the movie, he seemed to be distracted with other things. For example, he got up to make popcorn and told me to just keep watching the movie...and then he went in the bathroom trying to look for something he remembered leaving in there. He never really stayed still. After the movie he said he needed to wake up early so I needed to go home so he could sleep. I left and kinda confused about it.

    He's pretty shy, but I am not sure if this is something more. I don't know if he is regretting what happened with us a few nights ago. I really want to know how he feels, but at the same time I don't want to make things awkward between us by bringing it up...or in other words I don't want to lose him as a friend because of this.

    I am pretty horrible at initiating awkward conversations like this and need some advice as far as what to say/ask him. Also based on this little scenario, what do you think is going through his head? Thanks for your help!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2012 3:52 PM GMT
    My Guess could go 2 ways..... A) he read your refusal to cuddle that night as a sign that you are not interested in any sort of affectionate relationship and may beel embarased because rejection does hurt, whether it is real rejection or just what you read off of someone.

    B) this is what i call the least probable but still a possibility. He may regret what happened between you two and the constant moving around could have been nervous behaviour do stop the two of you from "getting to know each other"

    to be honest though , it is not really important to guess what his behaviour means. after all his behaviour put you off so i think it is best for you guys to sit down and directly talk about it. Tell him you like him and that you enjoyed that alot and maybe even add that you didnt want to go but just had too, and maybe he will tell you he is on the same page. And if he is to be all awkward about it and distance himself from you after that than he is not even worth your time buddy. dont let awkwardness get in the way of being direct with people. beating around the bush just makes more trouble , feel free to msg me anytime if u want to talk about this , take care bro icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    ^ best advice
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1767

    Apr 21, 2012 4:06 PM GMT
    MAYBE HE WAS CLEANING HIS RECTUM.
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    Apr 21, 2012 6:24 PM GMT
    buddha_the_god saidMAYBE HE WAS CLEANING HIS RECTUM.


    he did all that work for nothing, poor kid icon_sad.gif

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Apr 21, 2012 6:30 PM GMT
    I think Kensington above has some great input. You might even hang out with him a couple of more times, just to see what happens. If you value him, talk to him about it. He may not be comfortable with his sexuality, it might be pretty tough to talk about. My suggestion is to talk if things continue like your last get together.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 21, 2012 6:30 PM GMT
    Why not just ask the guy what his motivation was the night you both watched the movie the first time? Communication is the key to any successful friendship or relationship. Get on board and quit assuming things. Ask and you shall receive your answer.
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    Apr 21, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidI think Kensington above has some great input. You might even hang out with him a couple of more times, just to see what happens. If you value him, talk to him about it. He may not be comfortable with his sexuality, it might be pretty tough to talk about. My suggestion is to talk if things continue like your last get together.

    Agree with all. I might also add that maybe he met another guy in the last few days. He might even have begun to worry that your being there that second time was a mistake, if the other guy dropped by unexpectedly. Hence his antsy behavior, tense about how he would handle the potential moment.

    Experienced gay guys can comfortably keep several men on call. A newbie might betray his nervousness.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Apr 21, 2012 7:09 PM GMT
    Listen...ask nothing...so you lip locked for awhile...chicks do this more than we do....So you kissed and saw stars...Bam...The reality is he wants to forget this...To maintain your friendship you do the same...my2
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    Apr 21, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    Kensington22 saidMy Guess could go 2 ways..... A) he read your refusal to cuddle that night as a sign that you are not interested in any sort of affectionate relationship and may beel embarased because rejection does hurt, whether it is real rejection or just what you read off of someone.

    B) this is what i call the least probable but still a possibility. He may regret what happened between you two and the constant moving around could have been nervous behaviour do stop the two of you from "getting to know each other"

    to be honest though , it is not really important to guess what his behaviour means. after all his behaviour put you off so i think it is best for you guys to sit down and directly talk about it. Tell him you like him and that you enjoyed that alot and maybe even add that you didnt want to go but just had too, and maybe he will tell you he is on the same page. And if he is to be all awkward about it and distance himself from you after that than he is not even worth your time buddy. dont let awkwardness get in the way of being direct with people. beating around the bush just makes more trouble , feel free to msg me anytime if u want to talk about this , take care bro icon_smile.gif


    and he probably REALLY does like you too but doesn't want to mess up a good friendship