(Ugh! Did you ever have a really long, thought-out post and then accidentally hit the wrong button and lose it all? I try to remember what I wrote.)
I understand where you're coming from. I don't think there's a great answer.
I was never one of the pretty people. Growing up, I was always the small kid. In my twenties, I started gaining weight, and by the time I got into my thirties, I was very fat. I've lost the weight, but I've always had a hard time gaining muscle, for various reasons. I don't know that I can ever become like the so-called perfect people. I certainly can't become taller, and my face.....well, let's just leave that alone for now...nyuck! nyuck! nyuck!
I think part of it is psychological. The experiences we have growing up help shape us into who who are as adults. If we aren't popular or desirable to our peers when we're younger, we carry those feelings into our later lives. Even if you completely transform yourself physically, you can't just erase all of those feelings that are so deeply ingrained in your psyche. It probably takes longer to transform your mind than to transform your body.
I think part of it is also reality. We put beautiful, talented, and otherwise exceptional people on a pedestal for a reason. They excite and inspire us. Unfortunately, they also cause us to compare ourselves to them, and we probably aren't going to measure up. Those people have some quality that sets them apart from most people, and that's why we admire them.
RJ has more than its fair share of great looking guys. Frankly, it's very intimidating being around here sometimes. I try to draw inspiration from the guys who have done such an amazing job reshaping their bodies, but I'll admit that it gets depressing sometimes being around so many guys who look so good. Fortunately, I've also had the privilege of talking to some of these handsome guys, and in turns out, they're really nice too. (There goes my theory that it's OK to hate beautiful people because their all assholes. LOL!)
I think the most important thing is to try not to compare yourself to other people. I know. That's impossible. Here on RJ, at the gym, at a bar, wherever....we tend to size up those around us and judge ourselves based on how we rate compare to them. What does that really do for us other than make us feel badly? It's also important to take time to look back on where you were before you started getting into shape. You need to realize how far you've come. Some people are athletically or aesthetically gifted. If you have to put in extra effort to stay in shape, then you should feel EXTRA proud of what you've accomplished.
Finally, you're young. You will have good experiences with good men that will change how you view yourself. At least, that's what happened for me. We're not supposed to worry so much about what other people think of us, but that's easier said than done. When you're ignored or dismissed, it's very hard not to assume that there is something wrong with you that makes you unwanted. In my last relationship, I completely forgot about that for the first time. I was finally with a great guy, and it never even occurred to me to question it. That will happen for you one day too IF you learn to let go of those feelings of insecurity.
And because it works for so many different problems:Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
EDIT: Wow! This turned into a long post. I guess you hit a little close to home for me, huh?