adam228 saidJust because people have the capacity to have children.. .does not make them good parents.
Some parents love their children, and support them and raise them up. Others use their children to express their own insecurities and put them down to make themselves feel better. They don't do this purely negatively, they believe (as I think your parents do) that negative attention will get you to become the perfect child they want you to be. That will make them look good and address their own insecurities.
There is a good book called the narcissistic family.. you should pick it up and read it. I think it will comfort you and offer you some tips on how to get out of that.
You do need to get out of it.
Thank you for the book suggestion. It probably indirectly speaks to right-wing family values type who tyrannize society with their holier-than-thou stances.
I moved from a blue state to a large red state. I am under-appreciated here. My family under-appreciates me. One family member is rude at times. I constantly work towards leaving this red state for a blue state.
I thought I would be able to survive here by taking a 25% cut in salary and taking vacations to blue states. The thanklessness is so intense that I had my income cut by more than 50% of the blue state. This decimated my net worth and made mobility for living in other cities much more challenging than when I was richer in a blue state and decided to move to be near FAMILY and aging parents.
I work at building my own clan. Meetup.com (where you take one of your interests and see who has monthly meetings on that topic), okcupid.com, manhunt.com, craigslist.org, realjock.com, visiting churches, making friends at the healthclub, attending a few community events haven't gotten me closer to my own family institution providing the support to replace my parents' family unit.
So, one should be scared about trying to leave the bad conditions one is in. When I left them in my 20s, I did somewhat fine.
You may not be able to make it in life without the shelter and company your family provides.
From someone, me, who escaped to a better life but then came back home to my own detriment, I say, see what you can do on your own. When you think it's time to come back home to be a dutiful family member to aging parents and not letting a sibling take on all the hardship of aging parents, do not give up your better life 100%, your better life is your real home.