I am scared of anal.

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    Apr 25, 2012 1:30 AM GMT
    It's pretty safe to say I'm pretty scared of anal.

    Last time I got it on with a guy, I made it clear to him that I just wasn't ready! Fortunately, he didn't try to coerce me into it.

    I mean...I do want to try it out because it does sound hot, but I'm scared because of stories I heard about bleeding (YIKES!!!!). I'm just scared something bad might happen; I'm so paranoid!!! Guess it's just something I'm going to have to get over sooner or later. UGH. Did anyone feel this way before they tried it out? Just use lots of lube, right? And go slow?? icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 25, 2012 1:38 AM GMT
    If you're scared of it, you're not ready for it. If and when the time is right, it will happen naturally.
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    Apr 25, 2012 2:09 AM GMT
    Just lie back, open your legs, and think of England.
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    Apr 25, 2012 2:25 AM GMT
    I was kind of scared of anal at first yes (especially receiving it).

    Actually I did not enjoy receiving it at first but after a while I somehow started to enjoy it.

    Once you are ready, yup pretty much just use lots of lube and tell the guy to go slow on you.
  • jackthejock

    Posts: 395

    Apr 25, 2012 8:13 AM GMT
    well I just remembered reading this last week so you're in luck;

    http://www.avclub.com/articles/april-18-2012,72556/


    "Question:

    I’m gay and a junior in high school, and I’ve had a boyfriend for a year. (He’s one year older than me, Dan, so relax!) We are out to our parents and everyone is supportive. We are not bullied or suicidal or using drugs. But we are frustrated! We had sex education in our schools, but they didn’t cover gay sex. (Big surprise!) I tried to talk to my mom about gay sex, and all she said was “please use condoms.” We tried and we used condoms, but I think we must be doing something wrong, because we can’t do it. We are ready to start having real gay sex—with me on the bottom, at least for now!—and we are frustrated and feel like failures as gay men. Any advice?
    Tell Us Something Helpful

    P.S. Do we really need to use condoms? We are both virgins and each other’s first boyfriend.




    Answer:

    You and your boyfriend aren’t failing gayness, TUSH.
    Gay men and boys can be successes in life, in love, and in the sack without acing—or even enjoying—anal intercourse. Anal doesn’t define you as gay men, and it certainly isn’t all there is to gay sex. There are so many ways that you and your boyfriend can get off together—mutual masturbation, oral sex, frottage (a.k.a. “wet humping”)—that are just as pleasurable, just as “real,” and just as gay as anal intercourse. But if you and your boyfriend want to give anal another go, TUSH, here’s a crash course in anal sex-ed…
    First, experiment on your own. Use fingers and toys and lots of lube. I recommend that you get your hands on a butt plug, get your ass on that butt plug, and get yourself off with that butt plug in your ass. Exploring anal penetration solo will allow you to experience anal pleasure without any pressure or expectations, TUSH. You can really take your time, and you won’t feel like you’re disappointing your boyfriend if you have to bail.
    Your boyfriend should do the same. I don’t care if your boyfriend is a top—or thinks he is, or is topping because you want to bottom—your boyfriend will be a better top if he knows what it feels like to be penetrated and enjoys penetration himself.

    Okay! So you’ve both done some exploring on your own—jacked off with fingers and toys—and there you are, just you and your boyfriend, hanging out. Your butts are squeaky clean, and hey, you’ve got the house all to yourselves… is it time to fuck? Not yet. Now you’re gonna spend some time sticking fingers and toys in your butts and jerking off together. For extra credit, you can experiment with rimming, if you haven’t already, as nothing relaxes anal sphincters quite so effectively. (Once more with feeling: squeaky-clean butts!) The point is for you to do anal a few times with the boyfriend and for both of you to get off—you and the boyfriend—without his dick going anywhere near your ass.
    Now you’re ready to get fucked.

    You’re going to need lots of lube, TUSH, and lots of patience. Have your boyfriend apply lube directly to your hole; he should gently rub your hole for a bit, to help it relax, before using a finger or two to push some lube just inside you; you can apply the lube to his dick. Move into whatever position feels most comfortable for you—him on top, you on top, face-to-face, doggy-style—and point the tip of his hard cock directly at your hole. He should apply some pressure: uniform, constant, gentle pressure. You’ll feel your asshole begin to open as the head of his cock enters you. Keep breathing as the rest of his dick slowly—a fraction of an inch at a time—slides into you.

    Once he’s all the way inside, TUSH, your boyfriend may be tempted to start banging away, porn-star style, but that would be a huge mistake. Your boyfriend should instead stay perfectly still for the first minute or two while you breathe and relax. Kiss your boyfriend and stroke yourself during the brief lull before the fucking starts. Then he starts moving inside you—very slowly. He pulls out an inch or two and slides back in, you keep breathing and stroking, he pulls back an inch or two more and slides in. With each successive thrust, your boyfriend will be able to pull out a little farther, TUSH, and before you know it, he’ll be fucking the hell out of you. The whole process (the hole process?)—from patient foreplay to full-on ass-fucking—takes 30 minutes at least.

    P.S. You don’t have to use condoms, but you should. Using condoms is a good habit to get into, TUSH, and if you have any concerns about cleanliness, well, a condom is your best friend. There are lots of gay guys out there—including guys as young as you—who got infected with HIV by boyfriends, including first boyfriends, who lied, or didn’t know, or fucked up. So listen to your mother and use condoms, TUSH, along with a water-based lubricant."
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    Apr 25, 2012 12:07 PM GMT
    dxj5069 saidIt's pretty safe to say I'm pretty scared of anal.

    Last time I got it on with a guy, I made it clear to him that I just wasn't ready! Fortunately, he didn't try to coerce me into it.

    I mean...I do want to try it out because it does sound hot, but I'm scared because of stories I heard about bleeding (YIKES!!!!). I'm just scared something bad might happen; I'm so paranoid!!! Guess it's just something I'm going to have to get over sooner or later. UGH. Did anyone feel this way before they tried it out? Just use lots of lube, right? And go slow?? icon_lol.gif

    Yes, you shouldn't feel forced. I didn't have anal until 4 years after I came out, but did lots of oral and hand jobs.

    When I felt ready I picked a top who was very small (and who was also very grateful at being asked, since little guys are often passed over). I'd blown him and knew his size, also trusted him to not get rough with me, to stop if I said stop. He used lots of lube, a condom, and it was a great experience.

    Take your time, no urgency, plan carefully and there'll be no reason to be scared. You might also prepare yourself by experimenting with small dildos at home. Learn how to relax yourself for easier entry.
  • Mikesdays2

    Posts: 20

    Apr 25, 2012 10:33 PM GMT
    anal (getting fucked) is the most uncomfortable, stressfull yet awesome thing.

    im top vers and def want to bottom but it has to be with the right guy...masc., bigger/taller and hot.
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    Apr 26, 2012 11:53 AM GMT
    BWWWAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Like seriously, I am literally falling off my chair laughing.
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    Apr 26, 2012 1:06 PM GMT
    jackthejock saidP.S. You don’t have to use condoms, but you should. Using condoms is a good habit to get into, TUSH, and if you have any concerns about cleanliness, well, a condom is your best friend. There are lots of gay guys out there—including guys as young as you—who got infected with HIV by boyfriends, including first boyfriends, who lied, or didn’t know, or fucked up. So listen to your mother and use condoms, TUSH, along with a water-based lubricant."

    This paragraphs contradicts itself. The correct answer is that you must use condoms in order to have safe anal sex, with a high degree of protection from contracting, or passing, HIV.

    BTW, the lubricant is indeed critical for latex condoms. Petroleum-based lubes, like Vaseline or body lotions, will cause a latex condom to weaken and fail. And latex still offers the lowest permeability to the HIV virus, despite advances with synthetic condoms. Plus frankly I think that many sex lubes, though expensive, are superior to lubes adapted from other purposes.