Gay teen suicides.

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    Apr 25, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    I'm 18 I was born in 93.. But why am I still here and majority of my 90,s generation teens are killing themselves what are you're thoughts and opinion about this? cause it upsets me since this is my generation and I don't want gay boys killing themselves cause People totureing them in high school it's bs I came out when I was In high school when I was 14-15. And always stood up for all the gay boys getting bullied! People need to leave them alone one of my close friend is so fucked up now from gay bullying that he goes to mental hospital. I've been bullied but I always held my head high and kept on moving. So just wondering how anyone else feels about this. Plus if you're want more insight about this forum there is a rolling stone Adam levin magazine that just came out march about gay teen 90,s suicides. p.s Bless all the ones who didn't make it <3
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    Apr 25, 2012 9:24 PM GMT
    Well I wouldn't say the majority of teens are killing themselves.. Rather, far too many gay teens take their lives seeing no immediate end to their torture. We all have to fight. Fight for their sake, and for generations to come. Gay isn't going away, but the pain and suffering can.
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    Apr 25, 2012 9:37 PM GMT
    First, the majority of your generation are not committing suicide, that is not true and to say that is just, well, stupid.

    Look, bullies have been around a long time, everyone has been bullied in some form, we have all had to survive it in some form too, and the vast majority of us have come to learn that it is the bullies who are the pathetic ones, the ones who are really the ones who are the most fucked up. Yeah, in high school they hold the power and they wield it with often dangerous consequences, but if gay teens, or anyone who is being bullied can realize, survive those moments and survive that time and get out of there, the bullies will live a life of solitude and disrespect and many of those who were bullied can pull themselves together and go on to be brilliant and creative, inventive and leaders and grow to show others that you put your past behind you.

    You want some decent advice, you teenagers who read this? Hold your shit together, high school sucks for almost everyone, in some form, even the most popular jocks are neurotic messes in high school, hold your shit together, survive it, get through it and become a neurotic adult like most everyone else.
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    Apr 25, 2012 9:45 PM GMT
    Your post emphasises the crucial need for schools to step up to the plate and encourage gay/straight alliance within the classroom and beyond. It should be a call for all administrators, teachers, parents, and students to come together in a union of solidarity and ensure that all students are able to hold their head up high and be proud of who they are without fear or shame! This should be a commitment all schools should embrace with pride, be it public or catholic. Things can change for the better. However, each one of us has a moral and ethical duty to ensure that they do.
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    Apr 25, 2012 9:46 PM GMT
    Then when they grow up and enter the gay communities, they will soon find the same intolerance and bulling and bastardisation are all right here in our very own committees too. Maybe they have already seen this sad truth and it makes them feel even more helpless, and can see no end to the abuse, and pain, thus put an end to it all; gone way to soon. What a shocking thought for our liberal brothers here to process that they too contribute to this.icon_idea.gif

    I am now 50, and the only place in my life, I endure and experience bulling and abuse, and so much intolerance is in the gay community, just because I do not swim with the flow, because even a dead fish can do that. No, I am man enough to stand on my own!

    OMG Gays and Bis contributing to gay bulling and intolerance, and they are not even conservative or religus, wow what a thought, thats a concept that needs to be addressed.

    But mate I survived the Gay Plague Era of the 1980s, were I was too witness many of my young friends of that time being murdered, given a slow humiliating death, by another brother; just because he did not want to deprive his dick of pleasure; and they wanted to grow old, they did not want to die.
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    Apr 25, 2012 9:48 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidFirst, the majority of your generation are not committing suicide, that is not true and to say that is just, well, stupid.

    Look, bullies have been around a long time, everyone has been bullied in some form, we have all had to survive it in some form too, and the vast majority of us have come to learn that it is the bullies who are the pathetic ones, the ones who are really the ones who are the most fucked up. Yeah, in high school they hold the power and they wield it with often dangerous consequences, but if gay teens, or anyone who is being bullied can realize, survive those moments and survive that time and get out of there, the bullies will live a life of solitude and disrespect and many of those who were bullied can pull themselves together and go on to be brilliant and creative, inventive and leaders and grow to show others that you put your past behind you.

    You want some decent advice, you teenagers who read this? Hold your shit together, high school sucks for almost everyone, in some form, even the most popular jocks are neurotic messes in high school, hold your shit together, survive it, get through it and become a neurotic adult like most everyone else.


    Well it's easy for most of us to say "suck it up and just get through it". But in some cases there are very vulnerable people out there who are being verbally and/or physically bullied...perhaps on a regular basis. And If I have to put up with that for four years, then no thanks.

    A gay teenager needs to speak up and approach the right people about cases like this, they should realize how much shit they can get the bully in if they don't respect you. It's not fair to say that you're completely helpless and can't do anything, ofcourse you can do something, but don't wait.
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    Apr 25, 2012 9:49 PM GMT
    TrueBlueAussie said

    I am now 50,
    laughter.jpg
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    Apr 25, 2012 9:54 PM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    TrueBlueAussie said

    I am now 50,
    />


    They call them the fabulous 50s - is this a true reflection?
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    Apr 25, 2012 9:55 PM GMT
    ozgreenguy said
    TropicalMark said
    TrueBlueAussie said

    I am now 50,
    />


    They call them the fabulous 50s - is this a true reflection?
    Absolutely.. at least for us sober guys!
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    Apr 25, 2012 10:11 PM GMT
    ozgreenguy said
    TropicalMark said
    TrueBlueAussie said

    I am now 50,
    />


    They call them the fabulous 50s - is this a true reflection?


    Oh I am loving going white, albeit it's not much of a chnge from being blond. love my age and my life. Always respectful, and thoughtful of my lost mates who never made it out of their 20s. All because some brother gave them a slow death, because he did not want to deprive his dick of enjoyment; thus did not give a rats arse, about the deadly devastating effect their actions had on another; the mates I lost. lets We Forget.

    But TM is a great example of the intolerance and the bulling, within our own communities, that one talks about.
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    Apr 25, 2012 10:12 PM GMT
    TrueBlueAussie said< Always respectful,
    YOU?laughter.jpg
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    Apr 25, 2012 10:40 PM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    ozgreenguy said
    TropicalMark said
    TrueBlueAussie said

    I am now 50,
    />


    They call them the fabulous 50s - is this a true reflection?
    Absolutely.. at least for us sober guys!
    You're sober? Heathen! Get your ass back in the kitchen! (and mix a stiff drink while you're there) icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 25, 2012 10:53 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    TropicalMark said
    ozgreenguy said
    TropicalMark said
    TrueBlueAussie said

    I am now 50,
    />


    They call them the fabulous 50s - is this a true reflection?
    Absolutely.. at least for us sober guys!
    You're sober? Heathen! Get your ass back in the kitchen! (and mix a stiff drink while you're there) icon_biggrin.gif


    He really does behold fantasies about getting one drunk, and being drunk.

    Me thinks he protests way to much, if you are his mate, maybe you can drive him to AA. As he certainly has issues with dealing with the truth and reality, thus not accepting he has a problim with the bottle.

    But TM one did go out to a lovely Japanese restaurant last night the food and service was great, and one did have two glasses of Sapporo, and shared a craft of saki; yummy, and I was fit and sober to drive home too.

    But TM, I like my men to be just that, even if you did get one drunk that would not change. You really need to get over me, as I just don't feel the same for you, and deal with you deluded fantasies of getting one drunkicon_idea.gif.
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    Apr 25, 2012 11:06 PM GMT
    To the Op I'm sorry your thread has been turned into an opportunity for those here with issues, to take it as a chance to bully and abuse,just to bastardise another they behold contempt for. yes the gay communities really do need to start with it's own issues of intolerance before we start to demand it of other communities.

    It must be hard for many gay youth experiencing this same treatment of abuse,and bastardisation at school, and home, then witness it still goes on in the gay communities; saddly many of them start to act in the same way they were treated too.

    The distraction from this when I was in my 20's and yes it even went on way back then, was the issue of AIDS, and all the death and murder around those of us who did not abandon the gay community in it's darkest years, and go into hiding, and the issue of when will they find a cure, and an end to all this pain and suffering was foremost on our minds back then.
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    Apr 25, 2012 11:45 PM GMT
    A friend of mine committed suicide right after we graduated from High School. He never said he was gay, but from how he acted, I believe he was, and it is why he did it. He was a great guy too, funny, charming, smart, I think he just couldn't accept himself. He wasn't teased or bullied from what I saw though. It sucks, to be quite honest I was probably a more likely candidate for suicide than him. Everyone was shocked.
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    Apr 26, 2012 12:17 AM GMT
    I actually was considering it just last week,

    but more so out of feeling stuck and that no matter how good and kind I am how there is still an "missing" part in my heart.

    I feel like a crutch for my dad and that I cannot be myself.

    I just couldnt handle the pressure, but it would not have been the first time I attempted, but I spoke two friends, and they talked me out of it, withought me even mentioning it.

    I was bullied badly aswell, it does stick with you, and it does change you, people don't understand that.

    But just gotta be strong, things can only affect you if you let it. So don;t, hell alot easier said than done though.
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Apr 26, 2012 7:11 AM GMT
    TropicalMark said
    TrueBlueAussie said

    I am now 50,
    laughter.jpg


    I just LOL'ed icon_lol.gif
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Apr 26, 2012 7:21 AM GMT
    I think the difference between now and the past is that teenagers and people in general are more willing to acknowledge that they identify as being gay than they have been in the past.

    I know there must have been many men and women (teenagers included) who opted to end their lives because they were ashamed and felt as though their lives weren't living because of mental, emotional, and possibly physical 'torture.' I won't judge them for this act because I have no real context to which to judge. Could anyone here truly say they would know what it was like to live in the 40's, 50's, or 60's as gay teenagers??? I dare say very, very few here.

    Now, what I have said doesn't marginalize or mitigate what is happening today, but I think it explains some of what is going on with regard to the 'outbreak' of suicides. Back in the 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, and even the 90's, suicide was the preferential option to 'coming out.' The legacy of suicide was seen as being better than being seen as a queer or fag.
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    Apr 26, 2012 7:46 AM GMT
    Alpha1 said
    TropicalMark said
    TrueBlueAussie said

    I am now 50,
    laughter.jpg


    I just LOL'ed icon_lol.gif


    Well you know there is a lot to smile about! In the 1980s. I was a lad off a farm who moved to the city to get work due to drought. I was to find work within the gay community, and an education it was too; I got to see it with the light on. It was all a lot of fun, for a lad from the bush. Having big shoulders, chest, calves to die for, and a bubble butt too match, with blond hair and a big smile, I was was very popular and I did have a fucking good time too. Then the Head of the VD Clinic who come to our place of work to do free blood tests, was to tell us something big was going down in America, but no one was talking about. lots of gay men young and old were going to hospital, very sick and even dieing. we were to talk about this for about a year among ourselves, wondering what it was, and what could be the cause, and it was said lord help us if it's air born.

    Then about a year latter our whole gay world turned up side down, it was to hit the media, and the Gay Plague Era was on; the world was to now learn about HIV/AIDS. Well our gay club that would see many thousands go though it's doors on a weekend, went down to 3 people. The Gay's went into hiding and abanded us and Bis who went running back to their wives and kids; this was not a good time to be seen as a gay man; all we had to do was get a cold for people to treat us as if we had AIDS.

    Well the friends I lost that had been infected in the 1970s, and the friend who become infected in the 1980s, are now all gone; many never ever seeing 30. Millions have gone, and I who never went into hiding who stuck by the gay community, when many did not. Have got to turn 50, and am still fit well and healthy, as well HIV-. So I do have a lot to smile about; yet my friends gone from AIDS have never left me, nor what was done to them by sad bitter people, not wanting to deprive their dick of any fun, and putting young lives before the enjoyment of their dick.

    So One knows as hard as Tropical Mark tries to hurt myself and many others here at RJ, he just keeps failing. But One does have to ask TM, what he was doing during the Gay Plague Era? I'm sure he was not an out gay man as I was, standing by a community that so many abanded in our darkest years.

    So bullies like TM have no effect on one, yet my truthful words have an affect on him, as he tries his best to repress it, and abuse those who speak it.

    Oh I am also in a very LTR of 20+ years, so one is not out there looking for love. But hay TM is well over 30, and time has not been kind to his look, so this just makes one giggle even more.icon_wink.gif

    So yes I can smile now that I am 50, because it looks like I made it!
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    Apr 26, 2012 7:49 AM GMT
    DarthCassie saidOMG Gays and Bis contributing to gay bulling and intolerance, and they are not even conservative or religus, wow what a thought, thats a concept that needs to be addressedwww.50centsloseweight.com


    I know, yet they want to lay all the blame on the conservatives, and the religus, overlooking their very own sins, and the damage their very own brand of hate does. yet when straights act the same way they do, they scream like wet cats.
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    Apr 26, 2012 8:55 AM GMT
    heartbreakguy3000 saidI'm 18 I was born in 93.. But why am I still here and majority of my 90,s generation teens are killing themselves what are you're thoughts and opinion about this? cause it upsets me since this is my generation and I don't want gay boys killing themselves cause People totureing them in high school it's bs I came out when I was In high school when I was 14-15. And always stood up for all the gay boys getting bullied! People need to leave them alone one of my close friend is so fucked up now from gay bullying that he goes to mental hospital. I've been bullied but I always held my head high and kept on moving. So just wondering how anyone else feels about this. Plus if you're want more insight about this forum there is a rolling stone Adam levin magazine that just came out march about gay teen 90,s suicides. p.s Bless all the ones who didn't make it <3


    A very very very very small percentage of people commit suicide. Its likely that the suicide rate in gay teens is actually lower or the same as it has been for a long time. It's just that the suicide is being attributed to being gay, which is not always clear.

    There is no one single cause for suicide. Just being gay does not mean you are going to kill yourself. And so you are alive. Its likely you didn't have many of the other problems that gay teenagers who have killed themselves do have -- count yourself lucky.

    Edit: In general, I think its interesting that everyone will feel so bad about how gay people are treated....and then proceed to treat each other like shit and say horrible things to each other icon_razz.gif
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    Apr 27, 2012 2:23 PM GMT
    The problem is that more kids are coming out at a younger age and are unable to handle the pressures and bullying and feeling of rejection -- I think that was the case for Kenneth Weishuhn. I think encouraging kids to come out earlier and earlier is not necessarily the best approach unless we address the environments they are coming out in.

    Obviously we WANT kids to be able to come out in an environment where they find some kind of belonging, but do we want them alive too?
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    Apr 27, 2012 2:31 PM GMT
    mocktwinkie saidThe problem is that more kids are coming out at a younger age and are unable to handle the pressures and bullying and feeling of rejection -- I think that was the case for Kenneth Weishuhn. I think encouraging kids to come out earlier and earlier is not necessarily the best approach unless we address the environments they are coming out in.

    Obviously we WANT kids to be able to come out in an environment where they find some kind of belonging, but do we want them alive too?


    Gay kids should hide who they are, so as not to upset the bullies?

    I think most mental health experts would disagree with you.


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    Apr 27, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    White4DarkerFL said
    mocktwinkie saidThe problem is that more kids are coming out at a younger age and are unable to handle the pressures and bullying and feeling of rejection -- I think that was the case for Kenneth Weishuhn. I think encouraging kids to come out earlier and earlier is not necessarily the best approach unless we address the environments they are coming out in.

    Obviously we WANT kids to be able to come out in an environment where they find some kind of belonging, but do we want them alive too?


    Gay kids should hide who they are, so as not to upset the bullies?

    I think most mental health experts would disagree with you.




    Cut the crap. No one said kids should hide who they are. The issue is that we have to address the environment so that the kids, at such a young age, are not in a situation where they won't be able to mentally handle the situation.
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    Apr 27, 2012 3:39 PM GMT
    mocktwinkie said
    White4DarkerFL said
    mocktwinkie saidThe problem is that more kids are coming out at a younger age and are unable to handle the pressures and bullying and feeling of rejection -- I think that was the case for Kenneth Weishuhn. I think encouraging kids to come out earlier and earlier is not necessarily the best approach unless we address the environments they are coming out in.

    Obviously we WANT kids to be able to come out in an environment where they find some kind of belonging, but do we want them alive too?


    Gay kids should hide who they are, so as not to upset the bullies?

    I think most mental health experts would disagree with you.




    Cut the crap. No one said kids should hide who they are. The issue is that we have to address the environment so that the kids, at such a young age, are not in a situation where they won't be able to mentally handle the situation.


    No, you blame the..
    1. kids for coming out.
    2. people who encourage the kids to come out.
    3. environment they come out in.

    Its amazing. You never blame the actual perpetrators...the bullies.

    But even worse, you fail to expose the enablers and supporters to the bullies: religious conservatives and the Republican party. Your "solution" clearly states that kids should not come out **until** the environment is better....which is something that religious conservatives and republicans toss road blocks into every solution. Nice try, but your tactics are so obviously transparent.